Prologue

I am pleased to report that my more regular dream state has returned -and that I am acclimating to the new types of precognitive information being passed to me in the night. The communication between my Inner and outer self is deepening. I am more regularly able to receive messages, exact answers to questions that are asked. It has been suggested this past month that I begin going out to see how I can help other people with their ( consciousness ) projects. I have begun doing just this and it is a lot of fun. I will be reporting more on this in the coming months. Stay tuned.

Another thing worth mentioning is the ear TONES, they have quite literally been on fire this past month. There were weeks when they were coming in every night on both the right and the left. One night it would be the right, the next the left, back and forth. Until it grew to be from the right and left even on the same nights. Really crazy. I have fun with the phenomena, though, as all of you know. My greatest joy is exploring these things. I do not know that I am any more aware than in the beginning, relative to what exactly these tones are, but I will never stop investigating any of the phenomena that presents to me. It is simply too interesting.

Note: the Guardian dream from February 5, 2024 is worth attention.

A new theme is beginning to become more repetitive.

A HOUSE WITH MANY ROOMS

….

….

Dream Titles

• Building community, the threshold between wake and sleep, a light filled room
• Long restless night, heavy rain, biologically affected
• A potential communication about the black cubes; two negative groups
  still able to work through me
• Underwater domed structure—city—civilization meets its end
• I discover a Guardian entity in my room with me who is calling me out
• I am made a job offer that begins as one thing and ends as another;
  aiding other contactees
• In the shadows again, hard core lower realm activity
• A dream into out of body contact experience
• Surviving and spiritually progressing as family units
• Energy under the table
• The call of the desert is reaching out to me
• Four quick flashes, et origins, feats of strength
• Has a part of us truly been imprisoned? -I am shown the structure
• The making of “things”, creatures half human and half something else
• Divine Will —a question and phenomenal answer
• Highly irregular things going on with my body; jolting awake, pain
• Breaking the silence, x-files and extraterrestrials, good witch
• I am groomed for an interview in which I will vocal channel
• I jump from real time to real time, minimal sleep and no dream recall
• Meeting, information is passed to me, opposition is present;
  there is the feeling to protect my identity
• ( Obe ): Secret agent men try to needle me – safe house
• A house with many rooms, spiritual work, tests, laughter, the sage that fills my heart
• Contact experience:
  A central stream of energy and information passes some things on to me
• Contact, missing time, implants in both me and Isza, data probe
• Underworld affairs of a society that is seeing hard times
• Family matters, processing and digesting, too much is too much
• It is all about the day dream today
• Vibration, becoming vibration, let your love flow
• Accessing my vortex ( I earn a bonus ), a highly conscious and unusual shift

….

February 29, 2024

Accessing my vortex ( I earn a bonus ), a highly conscious and unusual shift

I wake early, ready to get to work again – but it is REALLY early, so I get myself comfortable and attempt a conscious shift back into the fields. I am in a wonderful energy, the body is extremely comfortable, the inner field is clear and easy to focus into but the shift inward is sooo slow; it felt to be roughly 45 minutes in real time. By the time I am IN I have also knocked off.

One sleep cycle later I catch a wild shift back toward wake. I see the last portions of what is happening just prior to the shift. >>

I am in a bedroom with 3 others: a girl who I seem to know but not IRL ( she is a care provider ), a person who is fluctuating between the idea of my most recent ( past ) care client who in this experience is now in a wheelchair —and Leslie, and lastly Erich. The room is dreamlike and ephemerally lit. Erich has moved to stand on my left, shoulder to shoulder with me facing the opposite direction. It is as though he is trying to hide from view something he is doing. I see across the room to where the girls are -who is in the wheelchair is handing a rolled up sum of money to the girl. It is something like a bonus, or a gift for a special kind of a day. I look over to Erich who is handing me a thick roll of bills. I feel taken a-back by the gesture, it hits me unexpected but I am inwardly pushed forward to receive the sum. I set it down, and later after the activity here completes I round it up to put in my wallet. I am doing strange things with the wallet, fixing a portion of itself somehow to another portion. 

When I set out to leave it is still night. I get into an odd looking beige colored van and begin to drive up the street. I say odd because it looks as though made out of pure metal and the shape of it is a bit different, more angular than rounded at the corners. No side windows.

I stop and park the car around a right turn bend in the road to get out and doing something. I don’t remember what because the feeling to turn around and check the car stops me. I turn to find that the car has rolled out into the street. This startles me. I run over to get the car out of the road before it or someone gets hurt. I get in and make the right turn to immediately find my perspective is much higher up than it should be. It is as though I am sitting behind the steering wheel 10 feet up from the wheels on the ground. This begins to bring me lucid. 

Astonished to see I also have no brakes I become aware of a woman with her dog crossing the road. I make a wide turn around them into the side of the road for oncoming traffic but it is by a hair’s breadth that I miss hitting them both. My heart is beating through my chest. As I turn the wheel to come back into my own lane there is now a rabbit to somehow navigate around. I manage to miss and drive over the top of him by turning the vehicle sideways while still moving forward. Once I pass over him I check the rear view mirror to make sure he is okay. He is frozen in place with every hair on his body standing on end, but after a second or two he runs out of the road. The height I feel to be at keeps elevating. I am now driving as though from 20 feet above the wheels down on the ground. The vehicle is moving faster now and there are no brakes at all. 

I am as lucid as it is possible to be. I finally let go all of the way realizing I am in good hands but it is a rush to experience this so directly in first person. I fly through intersection after intersection as lights to my right and left begin going by faster and faster until finally!—

I come through the other side, landing in bed in my room.

February 28, 2024

Vibration, becoming vibration, let your love flow

Oh man was I having the best dream this morning.

I was so deep into it, vibrationally wide open, cellularly soaking in all the frequencies -due to the yard man who has had the leaf blower going outside my window the past hour. I do not know this when directly inside the experience, of course, but when the leaf blower all of a sudden stops it is like I myself am unplugged from the whole thing, the experience instantly collapses into itself. I am left in a wonderful in-between space where I attempt for what seems like 30 minutes to retrieve the data, but in the same way that my thoughts in this in-between state can be held at bay, so too are all the data from the experience itself. When I ask for help I immediately see two white animations of people, one laying on the ground, the other standing over it throwing a white pail of white water onto him ( her, lol ). Every ounce of me wants to laugh out loud -rather than doing so I let the energy ring throughout my being. 

There is a song that has been playing this whole time: 
🎼 Let your love flow.

February 27, 2024

It is all about the day dream today

I wrote literally all day yesterday on the computer until after 1am this morning. The work was hard to put down, my mind wanted to keep going and complete more fully what I was working on. Even still, I fell asleep easily and slept really well for the next 7 hours until 8am this morning. Once I was awake, I was awake -my mind was raring and ready to jump right back into the work. I attempted for 15 minutes to get a dialogue going within myself, to help stimulate an inward turn and hypnogogic imagery. I got into a very comfortable state, but soon realized it was time to get up. Thus concludes my night and begins my day.

February 26, 2024

Family matters, processing and digesting, too much is too much

A white walled house, many doors into many rooms. 

I am relocating a floor fan from areas in the house to locations in front of the doors at random times. There is some kind of a life form here with me but I can’t quite see what it is anymore. It is something in my care. Where I go it goes. My attention splits off into a location inside the mall. I am sometimes working as a server at one of the food stands. My brother, Derrick, is working inside the rectangular stand taking orders and preparing them to be served. — I am also sitting at a table, eating what I come to see is a perfectly round ball of raw hamburger. I am talking with another female who is here, though I cannot at any time actually see her. She makes a comment on what I am eating, which is what draws my attention to actually see what it is. I am saying that if I just had some ginger it would be so perfect —and wasabi, mmmm, that would be good. 

There is discussion about malls in general, how they have so seriously declined, how the people we serve at the food stand no longer show appreciation through tipping for their service, how they either just ignore us outright or have complaint. One lady who has ordered, she has ordered 3 separate, full cups of diced onion to go with her food. Her third cup has gotten taken by some other customer. I have Derrick prepare another and I take it to her. She is very nice, she smiles at me, hands me a short stack of quarters ( ie: large change ) and says thank you. My energy lights up, I smile in return and say thank you. My attention is shifting back into the house. 

Elissa, Derrick’s wife is here. Activity has taken us through to the morning. Derrick is just now coming home. I wonder what he could have doing to keep him out so late. He comes in the front door exhausted. He has worked the whole night. Why would he do that? Derrick does not have to work extra at all. Elissa is bringing him into the house, concerned for his well being as I begin to wake. It is early for me, just past 6am but my mind is moving through thoughts that are unpleasant and making feel sick to my stomach. Such as the new large turtles next door, having the horrible thought that they may be food. Which makes me flash on an aplocoptyic themed movie I watched part of not long ago, it was the most horrific movie I had ever seen. It quite realistically portrayed people being captured for food. I have never been able to get it out of my system.

I think in part this is the message being sent to me this morning >>
to not let come into my sphere what I cannot yet process. 

This past week I have been reading a paper that includes information on reported activity going on at the underground base at Dulce. I don’t think I am ready to process in graphic detail that kind of information just yet. It needs to be more gradual than it has been the past weeks.

I need time now to re-immerse in my own frequencies, — re-find my own center.

Then I can ( and likely will ) set out again.

February 25, 2024

Underworld affairs of a society that is seeing hard times

There is this large man who is sort of a good guy. I don’t want to give the wrong impression, he is a man of the underworld but is someone who still has at least some redeemable characteristics. He helps a young homeless person who is set up outside the back of where he lives and works. I have some interaction with this young homeless person, too. I am among those who live out here by the seat of our pants as well. There are more of us than there are those who are in a sense still thriving. The feeling is not sad but rather fun-loving. I suppose due to our youth. It would seem this is just how it has always been for us. In the moment I spend here with this other I set things straight about where she can and cannot sleep in this little vehicle that has a few rows of bench seating which is mine. When my attention shifts inside I see another of those of us young outlanders who has for a moment been called into the large man’s work area. He is a large man, too, black skinned, red shirt. I see him sitting at the bar. There is a hospitality row of about 5 or 6 packs of cigarettes in front of him that he helps himself to ( though he is also asking if is alright ) as, having been called over, he walks toward where the large man is an office. There is more but I can no longer see. It has been a physically rough night of sleep. 

February 24, 2024

Contact, missing time, implants in both me and Isza, data probe

Steve Neill drives down to Los Angeles to get me. It is daytime, morning, the hour I can feel is 10am. We are inside the car, a large old Cadillac shaped car ( big and rectangular ), I am watching the streets go by as we are talking. He takes a road that I do not recognize, it seems to cut us across between points and take us all the way back to the beginning of the drive. I am confused about what he is doing but keep watching what is happening until it looks like I might understand. “Are you getting onto the freeway?” I ask, to which Steve just simply says “no.” As quickly as this brief interlude has occurred it is night —when I all of a sudden realize this it is a shock to my system. I begin to question my reality, looking through the front windshield, then at Steve, driving the car. It is just too real to not be real. I settle on another idea. 

I point out to Steve that it is nighttime already, the sun has gone down, 7+ hours have gone by. “We have missing time” I say to him. It is a phenomenal thing to experience in what feels like real time and I am actually highly intrigued. Steve begins coming around to the fact as we continue discussing this along the drive and later arrive at his house. When we get here, it does not strike me as odd at all that the whole back side of the house is panoramic windows overlooking the night sky. We are just continuing to talk >> about extraterrestrials and contact, about the crystal work I do. Steve puts Isza under a microscope and projects the inside of her into what seems to me the open air. I am astonished when I see a little area inside her move. It is a little blob of red-ish color capped in silver and what I see is a large eye roll open between the two colors. I can see this macroscopically in full size. Something has me move over toward Steve. 

We are standing in the gently moonlit room in front of the paranoiac windows looking out at the night sky. What I am finding myself knowing, and what we are discussing is that not only I, myself, but Isza, too, has been implanted. This area of the crystal where the movement just happened, I know it well. It is an area associated with where formations on the Anunnaki come through. I begin whispering this to Steve, — not suspecting even in the slightest that in actuality I am with the ETs, not in this house but on board their craft; this whole scenario itself has been a playing out of the missing time. I see this clearly now that I am awake. It is even possible it is not the ETs but humans who are probing this information from me. There is other activity floating around within this event which is vague now. I recall standing at a bar, a man is behind it and a man is standing with me to my left. He places a hand on my very lower spine, what I feel as my butt. I remove his hand and indicate he should not place it there again.

It seems as though I and one other person who I cannot see are going to stay the night here. Steve and his partner are going to drive back down to Los Angeles for a reason I can no longer see. Two trips there and back so close together. I can’t figure out why he would want to do that. I am fumbling around with some blankets getting a sleep space together for myself and this other person when I begin to fade from the activity here and can see no further into it. 

February 23, 2024

Contact experience:
A central stream of energy and information passes some things on to me

A man who looks like Friends star Matt LeBlanc has ended his business relationship with an older female. He even reaches into her to remove something and now he is selling off his belongings to help make ends meet -something he would far rather do than continue the relationship. A young blonde girl is with ( or somewhere around ) him. She, too, is starting over from scratch. I see her youtube page, it is new and has no videos, she is recording her first. I see her with her mother ( red hair ), they are close, her mother loves her.

Matt has brought two items to us, to me and a slightly older male who both can and wants to buy things for me. One of them looks to me like a telescope at first but then later I am trying to shoot it like a BB gun, it has the sight/telescope attached. It is cheap and made of plastic, he is asking $100 for it. I am trying it out to see if the telescope works. I keep seeing it as more a telescope than anything else—but I am also aiming it to see if it “shoots” right. I am aiming it at a house, both me and the lady who lives next door are here and these are our houses. A nosy female neighbor questions what we are doing. We assure her these are our houses and we are both fine with what we’re doing. Somehow her nosing in breaks things up, though. Later I see myself out front with a different neighbor, this time a male and I am asking him to help me with this. 

We are aiming this time at a red fire hydrant —and— as I am looking through the scope I begin seeing a man who is home with the young blonde girl from before; he is the one now recording a video. He seems to morph from looking like Matt into this other man. I can see right into their apartment. He is filming from the bedroom. It is grungy -old carpet, nothing on the walls, only the bed and a tall shelving unit that is painted yellow. The girl is buried under the blankets in the bed, she is still sleeping. I am not really paying attention to what the man is saying or what the video he is recording is about. I am not sure why in looking through the scope I am now somehow more physically looking into his actual living space. I am astonished that I can, that this is even happening. I am trying to figure out how it is happening. 

Important to note is that there is a central stream of energy and communication connecting whole-being-and-body with me beneath all I have just said. After getting up to use the bathroom and laying back down it begins to more directly presents itself to me >> 

A man who looks a lot like Robert Wagoner is a house with me, a young female with blonde hair is in the periphery -I am taking her to be a niece. There is a direct information and energy exchange going on between the man and myself. It is highly tangible and highly pleasant. I see objects of his up on the walls, over and around a wide, open doorway. It is near to the same as before, he is dispensing with these things. I see a small wooden 10×6 inch treasure box that looks identical to one given to me by my mom in the past ( which I no longer have ). The man sees me seeing it, hears my thoughts, feels my feelings. I am a bit sad he has emptied and is dispensing with it. 

He reaches up onto the wall and brings down what at first looks like an even smaller box but when he hands it to me it is in the shape of an alligator. It is beautiful. I open it at the hinge, look inside and close it. This is too precious, I think. The young woman is now in the room. She is asking if I am going to accept it. I am not sure. I am thinking it should go to someone in the family.

The girl is here to show me around the house. She has been waiting for me to be ready. She feels very similar to the previous young blonde woman and holds a clipboard in her hands. I set off with her. The next thing I know we are in a little beige carpeted empty apartment and she is rounding up and disposing of a dozen or more dead baby mice from around the place. I am confused. How has this happened? I am still being held in the same central stream of energy as from the beginning. It holds this experience apart from a more normal dream. This is more like direct communication. My whole being and body are permeated- all the way through to my sleeping body in the bed.

We are looking around the apartment now for any baby mice we might have missed. We have made our way into the bathroom, a small all white bathroom where at the far side of the shower I see another lying there dead. I point it out to her, feeling squeamish inside at the sheer number of how many of these were in here when I begin to see what I think is another, flopping on the top of the closest edge of the bathtub. When I come in closer to it I see it is larger than it should be and when it stands upright I see it is a kind of baby bird. I try to take it in my hands to bring it outside but when passing through the living room it jumps out of my carefully clasped hands.

It wobbles across the floor and up a wall toward a vent shaft. I try to cup it in my hands when it is halfway up the wall but I do not want to accidentally miss and knock it off so instead let it continue its ascent. When it gets to the vent and goes inside, my gaze having followed it, I see there are other creatures in there with it. My attention shifts up into there and [ missing time ] the next thing I know I am walking all the beings out—only now it is with two full sized upright standing galactic beings. I feel very proud to be escorting them to the gate. 

Prior to where we are now, when they had been walking in front of me I had seen they were both very tall, more than 2 feet taller than myself and wearing a neutral grey colored cape-like garment made of something like wool. This is all I see of them. Now on the earthen path outside, moving toward the gate I am in front, feeling elated with a jump in my step to be walking them out. When we reach the gate I open it, stand to the side and watch the whole stream of them file through; the two tall ones and all the little ones – having gotten no better glimpse of them

[ Something, however, is suggesting they are insectoid. My mind keeps flashing on the new being who just came through this past week, Maehra. I did not see her as mantis-like before but there are features that match. The incandescent green light hues, the eyes so wide out to the sides. Due to the hues, which I have seen before through the crystal I had thought some kind of reptilian species but possibly she is hybrid. —I am beginning to wake again but I really don’t want to. While laying here embedding of the experience what I can I begin to fall into yet another set of scenes. All of the symbols from all the previous scenes seem to be collapsing into this one. ]

I am with a group of other girls. One of them I recognize as someone I briefly worked with a year or so ago. There is a lot of odd activity I really don’t understand now that I am awake. Such as when something like a blouse is handed to me which I set off to the side. I notice it is filled with a kind of fluid through two breast pockets built into it. I pick the item back up and hear the words “you know what to do”, upon which I begin squeezing all the fluid out. The one girl I recognize is saying she is surprised I did not puncture the material while squeezing it. I show her my fingernails, and that they are rounded and somewhat soft ( I must somehow know that hers are not ). 

Many odd things like this are happening. One more that I can note is a sensation on the surface of the center of my right thigh. When I look down at it there is a round, nickel sized brown mole-colored something that is appearing here. I begin to get anxious for a moment but my attention is relocated. Later when I feel another sensation in the same area I look to see that whatever it is that I saw the tip of before is ejecting itself, pushing up through the skin like a tube.

What has evacuated itself is the size and shape of 3/4 of a roll of nickels. It is not dark brown as before but flesh colored. I am running to-and-fro looking for something to wipe this off my leg with but I keep thinking of all the baby mice that were around the place. What will be sanitary enough, I wonder. I don’t want the opening to get infected. I finally realize there are no best choice options and just grab a paper towel from one of the rolls in one of the rooms. As I am wiping my leg of this mess I notice I am wearing the skirt of one of my casino uniforms worn in the 1990s. I just barely catch sight of this before finding myself more on the wake side of life. This is all I can make out, or make any sense of from this last segment. 

February 22, 2024

A house with many rooms, spiritual work, tests, laughter, the sage that fills my heart

Tonight I am:

• Inside a large house with many rooms
• Inside some of the rooms I am caregiving;
  either I spiritually but not physically have what it takes or vice versa
• Inside many of them I am tested. Ex: a female with a sword readying to strike. I am swift without any hesitation at all in my response. I kneel with my sword overhead to counter.
• Robyn cracks the funniest Southern joke about chickpeas. I wish I could remember it. I laugh heartily and out loud and for the longest time.

In last room I sit in a theatre listening to a young sage ( like Nithyananda ) speak. His disciples fill the seats. A young woman sits near to me in an aisle seat. She sings his praises to me but I am honest with her, his effect is not the same for me as the one who is already seated in the center of my heart, Bhagavan — Sri Ramana Maharshi. I notice when I go to say his name that I am having trouble coming up with words. I can do it but it takes some effort. The young woman says back to me “he is no longer enlightened, he has entered the blackness.” She does not mean this well. I contemplate it for a moment and still feel his warmth which now fills me. He will always be the lighted candle that shown my way. My response seems to have brought this whole sequence to a stop. The young sage has ceased speaking and is telling everyone to leave. He is saying this repeatedly and rudely. I wonder for a brief moment if this whole thing was put on for just me. As I pass with the others through the seats toward the center isle to leave I see the young sage in his street clothes. I cannot help but feel how false this whole thing is. I reach inwardly for the feeling of Bhagavan again -there is no comparison. I contemplate whether I should spend time with him again. Repurchase one of his books and re-immerse myself in the teachings. 

A wonderful sensation flows through me as I wonder- I am still heading toward home- walking toward where I parked the car. It is not parked where I thought I had left it. I am confused. I am just standing here trying to come up with where else I could have parked. 

As one other possibility begins to present in me — I wake.

February 21, 2024

( Obe ): Secret agent men try to needle me – safe house

There is one long dream through the night that I can separate into the two segments by the major event that impacts my awareness in each. These two major impacts are all I am still able to see. In the first, the setting is at the top of a driveway, in an open garage, inside the backseat of a car with black interior. I am sitting here with a male person wearing a beige trench coat and hat -and I am naked ( ie: out of body ). I am realizing this fact as I see through the back window that another car is pulling off the street into the driveway behind us. A  man wearing a suit is parking the car and getting out. I tell the male in the car with me to stand in front of me and block me from view. He seems at least a foot taller and broader than me. Everything begins going fuzzy for me here.

I see the outline of the trench coat in front of me as the second man approaches. They seem to talk for a moment and then the second man reaches around him toward me. I feel the sensation of a needle beginning to penetrate my center chest. I pull back from it and begin to resist. The struggle goes on for some time, needle after needle, four attempts are made but I keep pulling back from them and knocking them away. I have what seems like a strap across my chest, a seat belt? I keep pulling to aim their needles at it. When in anger I have the thought to aim their needles at themself I am spoken to in my mind. I am asked if I would really want to do harm to another. “No I wouldn’t”, I admit, as I continue my evasion -and the invasion of the needles into myself. 

The next thing I know I am in a house, a safe house at the top of a long grade. I say “safe” house only because I feel it is familiar and feel safe within it. I am here with a man who at this time I can no longer see. I likewise cannot see any of the activity and conversation that occurred here prior to when I step out into the front yard and lay myself down. Looking up into the night sky I am astonished to see thousands upon thousands of stars. This causes me to come more alert than just previously. I am realizing something is not right, not accurate what is normal in my more regular experience. I now notice that the sky itself, rather than tinged a deep blue is instead black. 

In trying to rectify this in my mind and not quite being able to I enter a light state of cognitive dissonance. I remember going back into the house. I remember walking down the grade to a little way station below to collect others to bring up to the house. I enjoy the walk down and back up, and the company of the people I collect. I seem to make one last, extra trip, more as an un-embodied larger span of attention to collect 2 female dwarves. I see them come through the door of the way station where I surprise them. I’ve the feeling they fell back from the larger group on purpose. “You will be coming with me, then?” I say to them. And together we head up the grade. An unexpected acceleration shoots us just past the point of the house.

When it lets up I look around to see I do not recognize where we are. I am feeling uncertain about whether I will be able to navigate my way back when I begin to wake.

February 20, 2024

Meeting, information is passed to me, opposition is present;
there is the feeling to protect my identity

I am swept up by a fast flowing stream of activity and events I can’t get out of. It seems like every time I try to use my own preference to go my own way my attention is directed more into where I am and where the stream itself is flowing. One such example is when the stream takes me into an area where there are pools of water; there are warm pools, cool pools and one that is perfectly neutral in temperature—so perfectly matching my own body temperature I cannot tell a difference between myself and the water. I like this best. I am saying this to someone while standing in the cool pool. I would like to return to the neutral but my attention is directed and held here, to this conversation and where it is going. It is not exactly here that what follows happens -I no longer recall the exact details of the flow that are occurring when it does ( the flow is very detailed and lasts the entirety of the night ) but what happens is shocking to my system, and before the remainer of what I recall so I will place it here—

From within the sequence of inner activity I am, from somewhere closer to my conscious state detecting an influence that seems to be working at changing the context in which I myself am interpreting what is happening in the experience. In a similar energy as to when I feel to scream through to my waking body I push myself through back up to the surface where I am laying in bed. When I get here I find that an entity is here laying forehead to forehead with me mentally sending and attempting to insert thoughts into my dream that are his, not my own.

The thoughts are of a kind that are so unlike my own that I could not have helped but to noticed. They are negative and meant to create dissension. I pull myself more awake and energetically away from him while pushing out the word “LEAVE” through my whole system- mind, energy, body, physical space. I get up to use the bathroom, still feeling the pull of the dream itself, then lay myself back down. In an instant I am in again.

The flow takes me into too many areas to recall but there are two that stay easily with me;
one is with John and the other where I momentarily run into my mother. 

In the former I am in a sequence that involves a new man in my life? It is hard for me to determine past from future. In any event, John arrives onto the scene. It is a household setting. The new man is sitting at the head of a table, I sit John down in the seat to his right, a group of them are going to play cards, drink and watch the game. I whisper in John’s ear “you can smoke here”, to which he asks back “what kind of smoking?” …. “your kind of smoking” I say, indicating he can light up a doobie if he wants. The new man and John are so much alike it is hard to believe. I am about to go into another area of the house but before I do I see both men kneeling on the ground, they are doing something but I can’t see what it is ( putting fire into the fireplace? ). What I can see and do notice is that they are each wearing bright pastel tie-dye clothing; shirts and shorts. The colors and hues are near identical, only the patterns are different. They remind me of Yonatan’s paintings. Looking upon them I say “you are like the same one in two bodies.”

When I bump into mom I am walking through an outdoor mall. I have a new purse, or new wallet and I am trying to decide which identification cards to put in which one. I do still seem to be detecting a male presence that makes me feel to protect my identity.

As I am walking along determining all this I see mom walking up from in front of me with an extremely large shopping bag. She is with a gentleman but he is not right here with her. She is not even going to introduce me. I find this odd, I even have myself fixed fairly presentable and she is not going to introduce me? Everyone always wants to introduce me to others when I look a mess, and not when I actually am presentable. I ponder this for a moment. Mom wants to get moving, she doesn’t even want to spend time talking to me. I figure she must be doing her Christmas shopping and not want me to see. She rejoins the gentleman she is with and I go my way. I want to go to a specific, far area of the grounds and re-enter where I just was, what I was thinking, detecting and doing prior to all this. What is this presence I feel? what is this feeling to protect my identity? I think I am wanting to investigate it further. 

February 19, 2024

Real time to real time without dreams

I was up really late last night, working until 2am and unable to knock off until after 5am. Then up again not even 4 hours later. I didn’t bring back any dreams at all, just jumped from real time to real time. Hopefully I can keep the wind beneath my sails today. I’ve miles and miles yet to go. 

February 18, 2024

I am groomed for an interview in which I will vocal channel

Today I needed a practical life day to do my taxes and other such chores. I got up without logging my dreams -because that would have in an instant begun to take my day in another direction. I likewise did not spend any real time embedding but I do recall the center of my dream. I am a channeler. I am with a group of people who are also of the “Speakers” class and I am being readied to be interviewed. Someone is doing my hair and makeup ( note: I do not wear makeup ) and there is a moment when I come face to face with myself. It isn’t exactly that I look in a mirror ( although this in a sense could also be accurate ) as much as I come face to face with myself. I see that the person who has done my makeup has made me look like what in the 80s we called “maud”. I have dark, thick eye liner around my eyes and my hair has braided into thick ponytails off the side of my head. I laugh and give a friendly push on the girl who has done this to me. 

While fixed in the ponytails my hair looks much shorter than it is here in actuality. I know this because I had seen myself earlier with another woman who has me sat in a chair and is using me as a model to teach others how to ( and not to ) comb their hair.  My hair is quite long, thick, and wavy, light brown with strong blonde natural highlights -truly the most beautiful mane. The woman is saying not to rake the hair -and she demonstrates this, before showing them the proper way to brush. The last thing I recall before I recall no further is being sat in a formation of chairs for the upcoming interview wherein I will not just talk myself but also channel. 

There are bright lights set up and the whole thing is being filmed.

February 17, 2024

Breaking the silence, x-files and extraterrestrials, good witch

Once more I cannot fit the size of the experience into that of a 3D awareness. As I narrow back down to me. I continue to open myself to how I can one day possibly do this; return with, be able to hold and relay greater amounts of data here in physical space. I am present for the greatest part of the experience tonight but in the shift toward wake have to choose among fragments which now I can just barely see how fit together. I give gratitude for what remains.

In the first sequence of events Steve Neill ( Breaking the Silence ) is the featured character. The sequence is long, its main component is an elevation, which throughout the flow of events seems to be instigated in the night by the nearby presence of a large silvery coated canine.

This visual of all this is all that remains at the moment—

Steve is standing with his backside to the silver post that connects segments of chain link fencing. He is speaking with someone I cannot see, is it me? It could be me but my view suggests heavily that I am observing and experiencing as point consciousness. The canine is being brought to my attention by an outside party, someone not in the scene. “I see him over there” I say. When I see him, I see him in various other areas of the sequence as well. — each time it is the presence of the silvery canine that causes us to have to elevate. The way Steve elevates in the scene is interesting. With his backside to the post of the chainlink fence he reaches back with hands to clasp on, bends his knees to place his heels in the chain links and crawls up this way. 

In the next sequence David Duchovny ( X-files, extraterrestrials ) is featured. Steve is here also but as a different character -an older male who is looking for his daughter -his daughter’s scroll. Her name is Gypsie and when her name is brought up I can see her. She is a beautiful young adult woman with long, straight blonde hair. We are in an underground cavern on either side of a pile of canvas carts filled with scrolls. Some of the scrolls look instead like white laundry items.

There is a conversation going on between the two men and the one played by David, after seeing Gypsie’s scroll in the cart closest to him, deliberately goes around it, picking up other white clothing items in it instead as he pretends to look. Both men are looking and the other does not at this time notice what he has done. The two men, and I believe myself, possibly as point consciousness, possibly as a player in the scenes continue to subsequent areas as this all continues to play out, —until we ( or I ) land in a white bedroom.

Elizabeth Montgomery ( Bewitched, “good witch” ) is in the bed. She, too, is dressed in all white. 

I will note here once more that the symbol of someone dressed in “all white” is one that indicates “my people”. In this sense the white is generally a stark white. My attention drifts away from Elizabeth for a moment and when it returns she is painting her white headboard smurf blue. I see that on the far left of the headboard is a small swipe of brown, yellow and green all atop one another. I am thinking to myself now. When she goes over that with the blue it is going to look a different color than the rest of the headboard. More elements come down into the scene. The others are here, we are in her house not just the bedroom. She employs all of us.

The character played by David, here a handyman, is trying to let her now he is leaving for the day but she is speaking to one of her dogs. She speaks in a foreign language that is beautiful and something like French but not entirely. I do spend a moment listening but it is not a language that I recognize. As her staff it is not correct to interrupt her when she is speaking, even to her dog but David continues to do so. Repeatedly saying “Ma’am”. Until by the fourth time she is finished with what she is saying to the dog and David says his goodbyes. 

Before he can leave, I myself have entered the room as a bubbly young female housecleaner of another day and age. We all like working here, the work is easy, she employs so many of us. She does insist we find things to keep ourselves busy, though. Someone recently who has not is being let go. I must be her replacement and somewhat new, I step into the room and with a giggle, covering my mouth to excuse that I have just popped in something sweet, and introduce myself, reaching a hand out to hers. Elizabeth extends her hand, or more rightly her fingertips, which I touch with mine. As I leave the room to take myself to a rest room I am beginning to wake.

There is a literal whirlwind of activity in the shift.

Something has come to a head between all the players and the two men I am demanding leave the house this moment. What has happened I cannot see. I can only see the two heading out the front door, hear to being suctioned out the energetic force of the whirlwind. David pulls back through it and as though he were the other man, the father looking for his daughter says to me “remember what you did in the cave, that it was you who passed over Gypsie’s scroll.” Indicating I, myself, to be the one played by David. Such an odd moment of cognitive dissonance the further I come into my conscious state. The all characters are pulling back through one another. 

Landing at me -so interesting.

***

Note:

….

February 16, 2024

Highly irregular things going on with my body; jolting awake, pain

Crazy day. Crazy night. —All having to do with the body.

All day, the whole day, even going into the night I had a headache behind my right eye. Super uncomfortable ( -always ). Then sometime after I had fallen off, 1-2 sleep cycles later I jolt awake due to body pain. The back of my head is entirely asleep and my hands have swollen to such a degree that the ring on my finger is cutting off my circulation. I am still really groggy and trying to figure out what is going on. I reach back and put my hand on my head -indeed it is numb to the touch -as I finger massage it a bit to help bring the circulation back I notice my hand. It hurts -!. I have to really pull to get my ring off when more usually it is very loose. I am too groggy to let much of this seep in. It takes less than a minute before I am out cold again.

Then ….1-2 sleeps later again I wake back to my body with a jolt. I feel the most excruciating pain. This time in the rectum. I had been in deep sleep just prior, deep in the delta waves where in the night healing of the body takes place. Am I feeling what I am due to jolting from delta to beta so quickly? I wonder. I deliberately remain awake to see. The sensation of pain is not receding. I recall this happening once previously, though I was held under more during that event.  The sensation of pain, highly uncomfortable goes on for maybe 20 minutes, during which I wonder when it will end ( surely it will end ). I fall off, I think before it does.

When I wake in the morning it is earlier than usual and although I feel off due to having an irregular night the body seems fine. No headache behind the right eye, no other body pain.

February 15, 2024

Divine Will —a question and phenomenal answer

Before going to bed I ask question. 

My mind sure and inwardly focused I clearly ask. What I want to know is if something I said on a forum board to a group of people last night was in or out of alignment with Divine Will —and also how while in confusion I may rightly discern one from the other. A beautiful experience occurs:

A larger energy has stepped into me. It is tall, strong, noble and male. I enter the document “revelations of an elite family insider” and what is meant by a particular passage reveals itself to me. The passage is this: “If what was written in this text was true, it would mean that at the moment the Earth, “star friends” and Angels would be now rebelling against the Divine Law of the One…..which is an abomination to even suggest (I had to be very careful how to articulate that to not fall into the trap too).“. What is meant in ( brackets ) is that the words we use and the way we use them are like threads weaved into the fabric of our life,—used in particular way they can enmesh us further in materiality, a literal word-woven prison of our making. Words have substance we must remember, care must be taken when using them. The way we say what we do is important. The author of these words did not trap himself by them because he began with a hypothetical “if” which he is knows not to be true and can counter it in conclusion. It is important to not claim knowledge we do not actually possess, to not say things that are not true; there are consequences. Understanding this in the way in which I have been allowed this night has been meaningful. It has changed me and I am grateful. A keener eye will be on this here forward.

A sequence of activity now follows. >> 

The players are me, Rich, Michiyo and her little dog Chibi, who begins to be overlayed with my Charlie, both are brown chihuahuas. Rich, Michiyo and Chibi are moving away. We have met at an airline, it would appear that I am escorting them. But then the data changes. Chibi/Charlie has been left back at the apartment by himself for a week, at which point he will fly out. When I find this out I am near beside myself. They have someone coming once a day to check in on him ( but still! ). I suggest he stay with ME rather than alone. When I get to the apartment there is a female there, she is the one who was going to come in once a day to feed and care for him. I don’t get a good feeling from her, specifically in relation to me, she in some way feels an antagonist. It is not pleasant. I don’t think she likes, or approves of me stepping in. There is a lot of confusion now on what will happen. ( have I tried to do something not asked of me? ). In the confusion Michiyo comes back. She stays with me, too, both of them do. 

In the apartment I come across an extraterrestrial themed crossword puzzle.
( I am being communicated with in this fashion again )

It would seem that Michiyo has already started it, but few words have been filled in and one I immediately notice is wrong. The clue is “the third oar of the fourth ship.” There are only 3 squares for the word ( or number ) to fit in. I am thinking if each ship has four oars, the third oar of the fourth ship would be …. I spend time contemplating …. —then I come up with “the twelfth”. It isn’t right, though ( the twelfth would be the fourth oar of the third ship ). It is off but something about this answer also seems right. I an unable to work out the riddle. While all of this is going on I fill in some of the other words in the puzzle but these remain in the back of my awareness; they do not come forward with me. As I begin the shift back toward wake I stand before a MIRROR, it is the mirror that is prevalent and not me. In what would be the lower left quadrant, beginning at the corner and extending in diagonal fashion upwards is a foot and a half long crack. I can hear a scream ( “nooo!!!!!!!!” ) coming from somewhere deep in the distance. 

Now awake, contemplating this.. 
I see the quadrant of the cracked mirror would be associated with my right foot, shin and calf. 

And also the exact subject of : the message 🕊 : I sent out to the others on the board.

***

I have some absorbing to do.

February 14, 2024

The making of “things”, creatures half human and half something else;
( they come for us )

The point at which I can bring my conscious state of attention into this experience, everything is coming to a crescendo. There is a song going on the in the background, or through the core of this whole thing and it, too, is crescendoing. This may be a bit challenging to understand but everyone has been split in two. Everyone is half human and half something else. The halves have been separated into separate beings in separate bodies. The halves that are something else are coming after the halves that are more human ( human but not necessarily Earth human; I do not ascertain this ). In the crescendoing intensity and climax of the song I can hear inside their minds the single unanimous sentence “I want my counterpart!” The halves that are not human are not all the same species of thing. Some are similar and some more dissimilar. 

They are descending onto the area where the human halves are, some from vehicles in the sky. The humans that are met are being devoured instantaneously, such is the fury these beings feel. I do not see this as much know that it is happening. I am observing and periodically shifting down into one of the humans who has been just a bit quicker than some of the others.

It gets confusing to identify and locate myself here because I am beginning to feel myself as all three of those who I am about to describe, intermittently with shifting to an observer outlook outside and above the scene. The non-human halves thought to trap us in our structures but I got myself outside of mine. The non-human, bent on reaching its counterpart gets itself inside. The structure from inside looks like a kind of yurt. It is domed, metallic in color on the outside, navy blue inside with a chimney of what looks like black mesh on one side through which I am able to see to where the non-human half is now afixed and entering. 

Through an opening in the mesh, in a heightened state of attention it steps inside. I seem to have now gotten myself inside as well but the man-creature cannot see me -have I made myself invisible? or have the frequencies just not met yet? ( these sound like one and the same thing ). The man-creature is intelligent, it is devising, this I can see. It steps lightly around the circumference of the room as I begin to detect the presence of another human coming up from outside. She is specifically approaching this room, which is attached to others in a larger structure divided by walkways and levels. She has something she is going to shoot, akin to a bow and arrow in that there is something that releases from the part she holds. Making no sound, because I do not want the man-creature to detect me nor be the one accidentally aimed at from outside, I quietly work my way through another zipper-like opening in the side of this structure that opens toward the walkway in order to reveal myself to the woman approaching. She is a black woman with short hair and large, round, plump facial features. The face itself is near perfectly round, the eyes are large and round, and the lips are as large and plump as I have ever seen. Note: a being of this description has transmitted through crystal. I will add that frame ( below ) to this log.

As I work myself out into the walkway it seems increasingly more as a point of attention. I approach the female, look closely into her face -she seems to see me. Then the man-creature is now out here. The feeling of the song is changing almost more into that of a sort of lullaby. The creature seems mesmerized by the woman, her frequencies and tones and sits in a chair that is placed here. He is looking up into her eyes and she is holding his gaze while readying this device that she is holding and moving in more closely to him. When she has it ready she says the words “goodbye” as she shoots him in the forehead with a stun device that puts off an electrostatic charge. The body of the creature goes limp. My attention fades -and I soon find myself back in my room.—able to hold only these mere moments, less than a single percent of a far larger sequence of events. In its entirety it is just too much for me to contain. Will I ever get there?, I wonder -to the place where I am able to retain and relay any more than this?

What will it take?, I wonder again, as I slowly open my eyes. >>

The field still fully black -I remove my Mindfold.

*   *   *

….

February 13, 2024

Has a part of us truly been imprisoned? -I am shown the structure

Where to even begin.

It must be at the center—all the dream scenes are arising from a single central structure.

At its center the structure is pure feeling. I speak of a feeling that is central to even where I myself arise. It is all-pervading and it is GOOD. It allows me to see the entirety of the structure center to circumference, in and out, top to bottom. Narrowing in on itself it can be seen as a spiral. Narrower still, a cylindrical tube. Narrower still, 3 horizontal levels or steps; the steps ( visually lines ) in horizontal length seem roughly 1/3 that of the height of my body, they are stacked vertically and appear visually to be placed apart 1.5x that of the length of my body. Thus is the structure I am experiencing. I will say a little more about the levels. The lowermost is a spectrum in which anyone here-at is heavily enmeshed. Through the middle one can enter and exit realities and locations within it. The top is representative of having worked one’s way out of the cylindrical tube.

The details of the scenes that take place within this structure tonight are way too vast for me to have brought back. We are speaking of a collection of lifetimes lived relative to the structure, so broad in total scope that it is not possible to fit them at this time into the point of attention that is here now typing these words. — but I do still see certain points, these, too, act as a way of relaying the structure itself in its fullness. Through the greatest length of the experience I am at the central step level. I am able to enter and exit the reality and certain locations within. One of the locations is something like a casino. It is heavily observed and guarded by mob men. 

Somewhere inside here I am making myself a drink I want to call a golden nectar that is made from a kind of fruit. There is another as well that is extracted from plants -a green drink. I cannot recall how it happens but I myself somehow get extracted from this whole place. I then make many attempts, risking my life to re-enter it. I know I am trying to work my way back to the golden nectar ( did I not get to drink it? ). The mob men have a hard time locating, and even recognizing me once inside. It is like a house of mirrors, reflections and refractions of light I can hide myself within.

Multiple times the scenes lead to me having to come face to face with them but they do not seem to know who I am. They are actively looking for me and would kill me if they did. Many mundane, every day normal activity type scenes wrap around this as I come into and out of this location. One of the final times of which is with a young adult female. She is going in for reasons of her own and I allow her to accompany me as it will help not only her but also aid in my own disguise. At one point I recall getting lost, pulled into the gambling aspect, forgetting why I was here in the first place.

There are fragments, flashes of other scenes I can still recall. I do not feel they are as important as having gleaned the structure in itself and its potential purpose, which I have determined is to test and refine— but in one of them a group of 4 people sit on chairs in an attic having ambushed a group of others for 12 items required to break out ( of the structure? ).

One of them, a male, is concerned, casting doubt on their ability to do so in the way they have, killing the others and commandeering from them the items/ingredients. Another of them, a female with white hair is saying they should not look a gift horse in the mouth, the gods brought the others to them, and with them what was necessary. They are all holding double shot glasses filled halfway with a milky liquid. The female who just spoke is pouring the very last drops of it into her own glass which was the last to be poured. I see them all lift their glasses to each other.

As they drink my attention shifts.

I can’t help but think they are on the lower level and that I myself am somehow with them. Whether it is with the group of four, or the group just killed I am not able to determine.

In the last of the fragments I am a female and standing at the opening of a what appears a hall closet. There are shelves inside and the shelves level up and down ( like blinds ). There are openings in the wall behind them but the items on the shelves and in the front of the closet prohibit one from seeing back into that area -where something secret is hidden. A male arrives on the scene. I never see him with my conscious state of attention but we are speaking to one another.

He feels like he has the energy of a knight templar. What I mean to relay by this is that I recognize it. — it ignites something in me. It brings me inside to a certain time. The energy is noble, mighty, pure. In our discussion I decide to finally begin removing the objects from the shelves and front of the closet, relocating them outside of it in order for us to see and go into the back area. The male is verbalizing some attraction to me. I am holding in my hands a loosely weaved white netting with half a dozen emerald green spheres inside that are roughly 1.5 inches in diameter. I am looking down at them listening to what the male is saying while remaining incredible neutral in my energy. I feel how important it is that I do so. It is in this critical moment that I wake.

The moment is filled with the feeling first mentioned.

Central to myself, all-pervading and GOOD.

I embed what I can.

February 12, 2024

Four quick flashes, et origins, feats of strength

The process of changing my sleep schedule is slow going.. —again last night, due to a flurry a consecutive earthquakes I do not fall easily off to sleep, it takes multiple hours and is quite late ( 2am ) before I do. I wake 3 sleep cycles later with no dreams intact. It is still very early in the morning so after using the bathroom I go back in. I fall off, surprisingly, for a full 3 cycles more, the last of which I spend in a heavy and groggy state attempting recall. I get many flashes of scenes but no full dreams. The four most prominent are all connected. >> 

In the first, I flash onto a beach: there is a rock face on the left, a tall white ( highly interesting looking ) ET being standing to the right of it, beach sand and ocean fills the remained of my view. I have never seen this kind of being before. The light, highly unusual in that it is more blue than golden, would suggest it is early in the morning. The being is clothed in a long dress/smock/cape which is the exact color as he, a white that is so white a blueness comes up from it and as pearl, or opal, it shimmers with inherent pastel hues that are not immediate to the naked eye. There is the idea of a clipboard held in his bent left arm and pencil in the right hand. He is speaking to someone behind the line of the rock face who I cannot see. The symbols seem to indicate that information, in a primitive way is being passed to him. After embedding this and the following sequence of flashes, I return to this one and try to see who is behind the rock face. I find myself knowing, in conversation with Inner being that what I am seeing is through my human filter. 

The symbols pass the correct information but are not exact to the actual details -I flash on what these are for a single instantaneous moment. I do appreciate the additional detail ( I appreciate being able to see this even for an instant ) but prefer to continue with my human symbolic overlay. The other is just too shocking, the jarring nature of it would get in the way of me understanding to the degree that I can in the more human symbolic fashion. I proceed on the beach, looking around the line of the rock face half expecting to see myself, but instead what is there is a being who is perhaps one to one and half feet shorter in height to the other. He is built much more stocky, has skin the same blue-white color as the other and has larger but far more simple features. He seems what is clearly a more primitive being, a worker being.

The next flash shows the tall sleek blue-white being walking into a structure of a similar coloring as he, behind an upright walking, muscular tiger being. The contrast of his orange and striped coat so thoroughly contrast the blue-white environment that he is near all I see. The structure feels to be of the type that is carved out from the inside of a mountain. What the actual material of it is, is beyond me. It would take a quite enlightened being to construct in this way. The regal nature of the tiger being lingers in the air. I find it interesting the blue-white being is following behind him. I am trying to feel into, but not able to glean what this place is or who it belongs to. These flashes, I will say, including the transitions in and out are approximately 3 seconds in length. The only one I took the time to reenter and look further into was the first. 

The next two, the third and fourth of the flashes depict feats of strength.

In the longest of the two, which in an incomprehensible way almost seems to span a timeframe engulfing all the others I am hanging by near my fingertips off the middle of a vertical red sand rock face. What I am holding to in my hands feels like the bristle part of a clear plastic hair brush. I can strongly feel the muscles I am using to hang here and am determined to hold on, — in fact not just hold on but climb and get myself back up to land top. The strength of my determination gives me actual physical strength. I feel myself pulling my weight up. A brief flash of my body tells me I am a muscular, caucasian human male.

This last flash is more than just a flash, I shift fully, physically into it. I am female. I am standing on a yoga mat inside what looks like a large bathroom, the vanity area where there are large mirrors and recessed lighting. I am naked and in a yoga pose called uttanasana, a standing straight legged forward fold. I get the feeling that there is someone else here, or others here who are also standing in uttanasana. It has been so stunning to shift so physically here into this that the greatest deal of my attention is just coming up to speed on the details of myself.

This is when something strange happens. I shift my position into something not physically possible. It is a mixture of postures all combined, I will give their English names so that the symbols can be understood— cobra, sphinx, down dog. What makes this even semi-possible is that I seem to have a joint down near my shin that is opposable. I am trying to wrap my mind around this but in all honesty the sensation of having moved into this posture feels so good that all I want to do is soak into and enjoy it. Some other kind of being entirely, must have merged with me. I am experiencing myself half as me, a human female ( but not me, “Casey” ) and half as this being. In synching into the sensation of the pose I am shifting more over toward it and within the shift—shift back into physical space.

*   *   *

Note: I will try to sketch the scene and being on the beach. If I can I will edit this log to add it.

February 11, 2024

The call of the desert is reaching out to me

An elderly female I am taking to be my maternal grandma. I have gone to visit her and come to realize she will soon need me to care for her. She lives in the Nevada and Arizona desert, just like my maternal grandma and in the experience she dons her same appearance. I am speaking with someone in the background about wanting to keep my current place of residence rather than give it up as the year of care of happens. I am finding myself knowing the elder has the resources to extend a monthly salary while I am there. I somehow get it into my head that I want to stock her up on toilet paper before I head home. It is better to have it here stored in the garage than not. 

Now I am outdoors at the place that sells it, early enough in the morning that I am going to be the first in line. Now a long sequence of activity where no-one will help me get the actual package. Person after person, hour after hour until 7-8 hours have gone by. I am getting livid.

While I am waiting at one of the last counters I see three empty pairs of shoes sitting on the floor near my feet. When I pick them up to set them off to the side where these people can later retrieve them I see there are 2 stacked quarters ( ie: large change ) underneath. I now retrieve the 3 stacks of quarters, which I am going to give to the person who comes to the counter-booth if anyone ever does. Not much later a female does, but she also cannot seem to help me get my package. I follow her into a back room work area where I proceed to rip open a large package I see sitting here. “This will have to been sent back” I say, and then “if you are not going to be helpful to me I am not going to be helpful to you.” [ fade to black ]. 

I find myself with a group of young kids on bikes. We have had a long ride in the desert and they have thrown their bikes into a small rectangular shaped pool of water and climbed down below. I don’t seem to want to put my bike in the pool, which I can see is cleaning the mud off all the others -but I do want to get down there where they are where a much larger pool of water has collected in the rocks. I am asking if there is any other way down than to jump in it. My attention is navigated to a very precise area in the pool, which from where I am now standing is a manageable leap. I can actually just lower myself from the ledge above. When I get into the pool, into the precise area the others had pointed me I see a little tiny yellow skinned creature that looks like an infant cat without hair, only the ears are much larger and pointy. I scoop him into my hands and over to the side of pool where I set him out of the water. [ the scene is reset ]. I am in the same place in the water only the little creature is now gone. I begin to panic. 

The other kids are all propped up along the wall of the pool with their eyes closed enjoying the water. I am asking them where the little creature is. No-one seems to hear me. I ask again, and then again, raising my voice so loud that one of them finally opens their eyes and points to a place along the wall of the pool roughly 3 feet down. My heart about leaps out of my chest. I get myself down there and find it is caught up in a piece of material that itself has caught onto a nail. I scoop him into my hands again and in a panic with my arms extended straight upward so that he will reach the breathable air as soon as possible—swim toward the water’s surface. I am surprised when the distance is more than I had thought but we finally break the water and as we do the last bit of air in the creature’s lungs is expelled in a large whoosh. 

In the same rush of energy, at least knowing he will be okay —I wake back to physical space, 
where still feeling the extreme sense of panic I feel I might be sick. 

It takes me many minutes to calm my system down.

February 10, 2024

Energy under the table

I come into awareness quite suddenly.

I am at home with my housemates, we are two females and one male. The male, a late 30s looking man with short dark blonde hair wearing clothing ( shirt, pant and jacket ) all a matching military brown color says he is going to watch a baseball game and asks us if we want to come. I feel like I would like to get out of the house and be outdoors so this sounds good, I ask if he can give me 10 minutes to ready myself. He confirms -but I don’t think I was ever given the 10 minutes. I see him standing outside talking to someone *it is almost like this is being hidden from my attention – and then we are indoors somewhere and there is a parade of people moving down a central isle. It is not really a parade, more like just a large group of people moving quickly up the center. I think I am thinking this is some kind of pre-game activity. Once all of the people go by the rest of us, those here for the game seem to be finding seats in 3 sets of bleachers. 

My housemate and I had brought our own chairs so I am scanning through the area for someone in their own chair. A woman leaning off the edge of one set of bleachers tries to help into them. I don’t want to enter it, though, “I am just looking for someone” I say, as I continue scanning the area. The next thing I know I am upstairs on some sort of mezzanine.

My attention is forward toward the railing that looks over.

At first all I see is bright white light, but then I see movement at floor level. It is a little 2-3 pound dog. I kneel down on the floor and call him over, I don’t want him to get hurt so close to the edge. My energy is immediately uplifted, he’s just the cutest little thing ever. I thought for a moment he might be scared and hesitate coming to me but he comes right over, wagging his tail and excited to say hello. I begin petting his little back and wondering how he got here. I don’t see any other people yet. While I am petting him, someone, I think a female pours water over his back. It catches my attention but I don’t find it odd enough to question. We just continue interacting, with the little one now half soaking wet. Our bonding begins to bring in more dogs. 

This happens before I even fully realize it -there is now a black pit bull who has sat itself closest to me so that the little dog can barely get through. I find it funny that he just sort of climbs him and works to actively push him away. The pit bull just calmly sits here without even retaliating. More dogs come in, one after the other and now there is a swarm of energy and activity here under the table I had first knelt below. All of them are trying to worm in the closest to me and muzzle into my face. It is this that finally makes me snap to. When I snap back into the scene, I am standing up in this same area. There is a female here with me. I am behind a service counter and thinking I will pour myself a cup of coffee ( note: I do not drink coffee ). I first pick up a small dixie-like cup, think on it for a moment then decide no, I will go for a larger cup. It is now that I realize I do not know where my purse is. I must be thinking I will need it to pay for the coffee. I set out looking for it and find myself walking through a mall, beginning to feel anxious.

Up ahead I see a mall attendant, someone I know is a helper in the scene, a young female who appears quite busy. I tell her I need help finding my purse which I seem to have lost. She tries to direct me to where there is a device I can use to call for help.

I listen, and look off in the direction she is pointing but know there is no way I am going to be able follow her directions. I tell her I am going to need her to at least take me to the thing. She sweeps down from her podium in the direction of it and I follow her. We stop after 50 yards or so at something that is hanging on the wall. It is so discrete I immediately say “I would never have spotted this on my own.” I thank her for bringing me to it. She proceeds to move through this process, which first involves shading a triangular shaped golden hued light on the wall. She drapes a curtain that is here over it in a peculiar way, then reaches for the device I am to use. It has a cord that we are supposed to plug into a jack that is to the right and bit higher up the wall than the light. As we go to plug the device ( which I now see is an intercom ) into the jack we both see there is what looks like a bloody handprint over the top of it. The girl begins coming undone at the sight of this, rambling so fast I cannot hear everything she is saying. I don’t see why the bloody handprint should stop us from our current course.

“Can’t we still plug the intercom into the jack and use it?” I ask.
“Yyyes” she says, in a still silence brought about after my question stops her excited rambling.

I go ahead and plug in the intercom, noting the jack is one typically used for telephones. The girl is going to make the announcement for me but I tell her I will just go ahead and do it myself. I am already holding the intercom in my hand so I press the button on the side and begin to speak—

“This is Casey Claar, I am looking for …. ( long pause ) …. ” I realize I cannot recall my housemates name. I was going to call him to an area where we could both find each other, and then my purse. It stuns me, though, that I cannot recall his name, I begin to question where I am and as I do — seamlessly shift back into my room.

February 9, 2024

Surviving and spiritually progressing as family units

I have only a basic theme today: surviving and spiritually progressing in clusters as “family units”.

Note: I am in the process of changing my sleeping schedule. While I was going through the initial healing of the recent injury to my knee I was so body tired and letting myself sleep to my heart’s content. It is time to regain more awake hours now >> getting to sleep by a particular hour and waking at a semi-decent hour. I will be moving through a period of acclimating to this. My dreams and recall will be affected to a slight degree but the process should not take me long.

February 8, 2024

A dream into out of body contact experience

I would be remiss to not first mention the level of storms we are experiencing the past few days on the Pacific west coast. The winds are high, and the rain at times coming down so hard that the sound has my heart in a rush. I feel nervous —I don’t know why. I used to love storms and their energy. I spent time consciously remembering back to when I was a young girl and young adult. The storms enlivened me. I let myself tap in, reminisce and feel this now, and over the course of hours slowly fell off to sleep without realizing. During these hours, I will mention, the tones coming in alternating fashion through the right and left ear are regularly sounding, as though some kind of competing symphony. I would make a point of saying “hello on the right” “I am here”, and “hello on the left””I am here” in reply to the sounding of each tone.

In the morning, I find I have another fine example of a dream into out-of-body contact experience, gleaned almost wholly through the process of embedding ( in contrast to as the dream itself is playing out ),—embedding, I will share, is the eyes closed processing of the dream’s data and symbols while on the threshold of the wake state, prior to opening the eyes, getting up and logging them. Embedding is crucial to the process of growing the understanding of the dreams, data, symbols – as well as the inner functioning within the ways in which they are given. It is like moves on a chess board that sequentially break you more open and through the various openings, not only are new levels of the experience arrived at but messages may be passed between the levels, both from and to the conscious mind; ( **key message: “3 in 1” ).

To begin I will first share a few notes:

• In this experience itself I am boarding a cruise ship: meaning >>
  [ this contact is casual, for pleasure rather than work ].
• I am boarding from below, climbing up through a lower hold: meaning >>
  [ I am going up a level or more in consciousness ].
• The material of the hold is some kind of metal alloy and is white:
  [ the ship is in real space, the color white generally indicates “my people” ].
• The presence of Dante Starshine is with me: [ Dante is a channeler for the Pleiadian Council so this may be indicative of whose craft I am boarding ].
• Once on board it is brought to my attention that I am naked: [ a sign that informs me of what is my usual state when out of body ].

Now I will go into some of the details.

As I am boarding the cruise ship through the white area of the lower hold, while speaking with Dante, or he with me—my consciousness zooms out until I have a view from above of the cruise ship below. I see its coordinate location on the water relative to 1 ) a far larger ship, and 2 ) land, possibly an island. The cruise ship is circling from the starboard to port side of the larger ship where it delivers groups of people and picks them up to take them back to shore. After seeing this my attention narrows back to the hold where I continue climbing up. There is something on the floor that I reach down and pick up. It is my undergarments.

Once inside the ship I have a view of the central commons area. People are sitting at tables, drinking, eating and conversing among themselves. I see a man come out through the center of all this. He is naked. When I see this I realize I, too, am naked. I do not, however, catch the sign of being out of body. I am crouching down to hide myself so others might not see.

The man is absolutely perfect in his appearance ( which is usual of the Pleiadian and other such human ETs ). He is asking if I will bring a food item to him from the kitchen. I do not want to do it due to my state of undress. My energy gets worked in with his, though, and in the next moment I find us both there, in the kitchen to the front of a large wall to wall, multi-segmented walk-in fridge. We are here with the male who is in charge of the kitchen. He is dressed quite nicely and has a very professional and pleasant demeanor. The food item I see now is something like nori, nori sheets, nori rolls ( this may give some indication of our geographical whereabouts ). The kitchen is out of them. We take a plate of something else instead and the two men work out amongst themselves a plan of action to keep themselves more aptly stocked.

From here I find myself in a 2 bedroom 2 bath suite. I am accompanied, not surprisingly by the presence of my ( deceased ) sister, Sandy. There is communication but it is not consciously retained. I rarely see her directly in the experience due to rarely using the same back bathroom. I wish I could recall more of this segment but at the moment I do not.

While walking through the ship, I see Tom Selleck. —who news articles report is in a current health crisis; constant and chronic pain due to arthritis.

There are many people walking the ship and much activity, I am strolling through as if on vacation. I pass an ethnic woman, a wife in charge of the family business and financial matters, roughly in her 60s, wearing a fitted green dress and gold jewelry. I overhear her conversation with another woman who she is asking to design a business plan that will bring 3 new businesses into her existing portfolio all at once rather than independently. She cannot afford the excess cost of moving through the process three times. Rolling it all in at once will be a big savings.

Note: This I feel is : a message to me 🕊 : relative to an earlier message not weeks ago through the dream state about how I might best continue in my own desire to continue sustainably through the consciousness work. I believe I understand the message and what is being suggested.

The last thing I recall, which happens at a deeper level of the experience than all I have just previously said, is while sitting, being asked to draw a pencil sketch of a bicycle.

This request and me being able to satisfy it is to prove something of myself to the one who has asked me to do it. With the piece of sketch paper in front of me and pencil in hand I do begin to do what I can. It is not a simple sketch, it has components that are intricate and I am struggling with some of this. I seem to be receiving some help, a being is standing behind my line of sight asking questions, inquiring into certain elements of what I have drawn. This seems to spur me on.

February 7, 2024

In the shadows again, hard core lower realm activity

Dreams play out again as though I am in a consensus territory, in a moment by moment linear fashion. There are three separate dreams, or areas within a single dream where the activity and characters change. All are extremely lower realm. Throughout the night, in the bed I am inside rhythmic energy sensations, the kind indicative of the OBE, however when I notice them for some reason I am thinking they are fake, meaning not naturally arising but rather that I am forcing them somehow -even though this is not so. They do feel different and I detect the difference, and I am defining the difference as somehow fake. I will have to look more into this at a later time. Perhaps they are being forced, but by someone other than me.

The dreams themselves I am going to highly condense because I am not able to go back into them minute by minute. The first point within the sequence I can identify is inside an underground parking area. There are those of us down here who a whole uniformed squadron of officers are here to kill ( we are street people and hoodlums ) but there are many others as well including families and elderly. The officers are just indiscriminately firing at everyone, using fire balls, smoke bombs and bullets. The two of us this experience centers around get away. We are two young men, one twice the age of the other, roughly 30 years and 15 years respectively. It is the latter for which I find myself here and I periodically seem to merge with him. The rest of the time I am either purely observing, or observing from within his auric field. While in the latter I seem to have some level of affect on what is going on, for instance with others who are in the scene. At one point, in a dangerous situation I close a door myself to help him.

There is also a young girl who is connected to the boy who periodically comes into some scenes, she is his same age and they both, regardless of their situation still have some innocence about them. The older of the two boys is pure slime. They survive together, though, for awhile. They’ve built a small underground bunker, safe room to hide themselves when the officers come. In the closing scene of this segment the boy and girl are caught by a young officer. It is just to the front of the house where the slime bag is now living.—he is, in a turn of events exposed by the other two and doesn’t make it. The whole house is somehow brought down and the man with it. Prior to this happening, while the boy and girl are in the officer’s custody they notice one of his shoes. It still has all the tags hanging off the back side of it -he has stolen them. There is an endearing talk here among the three of them, none of whom is judging anyone at this point, an understanding of how hard life can be is reached. When the house comes down the officer is knocked over. He feigns being unconscious and the boy and girl know to run. I feel the energy of their excitement as they look at each other, then head up the street to get away —this segment comes to a close; there are many more such segments and scenes but they are all shorter vignettes.

In the very last we ( and I am not seeing who “we” are ) are trapped in the back seat of a car being driven by a very bad, butch looking man into one of the worst neighborhoods possible. When he reaches into the back seat to do something that is meant to hurt us, I, as an outside party swat his hand back with what looks like a hand fan. He tries to reach back again and I do the same, swat at him. I say “so easy”, as in it is so easy for me to stop him. He finally gives up. In all this activity my conscious state of awareness has gotten a good look at him. He is maybe in his late 20s, has butch cut blonde hair and is wearing a light blue sweat shirt with the sleeves rolled/scrunched partway up the arm. Although he is no longer trying to do the thing that would have made it really bad for the two in the back seat, he is fighting back having been stopped in his own way. He is not turning back to face the road and instead kicking up the speed of the vehicle. Usually this phenomenon would really get to me but I am not letting it. We speed on the freeway, changing lanes to barely miss other cars and finally swerve toward a particular offramp. 

At the offramp there is a black truck driving sideways off it into the open door of a building off to its side. We are driving into the absolutely worst of slums, graffiti painted all over and I can feel the energy of those inside; it is very dark. As we drive off and turn right at the first street there is chaos everywhere. The houses and buildings have all been gutted and trashed, some are on fire, cars have been crashed into, people assaulted, and in the crosswalk, rolling diagonally through the center is a half dead man in a wheelchair with both his feet set on fire.

This is the last thing I see before I wake.

February 6, 2024

I am made a job offer that begins as one thing and ends as another;
[ aiding other contactees ]

I am approached by an older male ( Chris Martinsen ) with a job offer. It seems like a really good job, something I might like, and it is different so this is interesting to me. The job is an editor, but what I am really going to be doing is reading and responding to love letters – love stories – written into this particular organization represented by Chris himself. As I am agreeing to take the job, another older male ( Robert Edward Grant  ) begins to present more through him and the job itself begins to change. I feel I have been tricked. I will note that the underlying state I am experiencing through this sequence feels really good, I do not want to wake from it, but the details within the sequence begin to alter from what they started. They seem to grow increasingly more intense, which might be due to the increasing intensity of the rain outside my open window IRL. 

I am escorted to, and guided through four separate quadrants, each near to identical and presenting as kitchen-like areas. In each of the quadrants a bizarre set of dream-like activity goes on but it is so highly symbolic in nature and goes on for so long that there are only a few things that stand out to me still remaining. In one of the first quadrants, in the midst of the main activity occurring I recall that periodically, harmless looking college aged ( 21 year old ) young men dressed as if going to the beach in colorful t-shirts and long shorts would be carrying others of the same description out through the center to somewhere I would never see. I don’t know if the young men being carried were knocked out, simply asleep or dead -but I don’t think the latter. I recall thinking to myself “aren’t they heavy?” The men who were carrying them were doing so, so easily.

I remember walking from the third quadrant over to the fourth and final, and thinking to myself how similar it was to the last, save a small perfectly square table that in the last was set just outside the entrance, and in this one just to the inside. As I begin wondering how people get by it without bumping and bruising their legs I get pulled in. The main activity I recall in this quadrant is in a back room where there is a 30-something young male with dark hair with a small plateful of about 18 tablets of pain relievers in front of him that he is taking. I step up, telling him that this is too many. He scoffs at me, says this is nothing and proceeds to add handful after handful more. I grow to be beside myself. He is actually going to take all of these. I am going to have to inform someone, a female supervisor of this quadrant I know to be in the area. 

She is proving challenging for me to pin down but I feel so strongly to let someone in charge know what is happening that I continue to keep at it. Walking down an open hallway she appears to disappear into a clear ball jar filled with water ( note: this symbol appeared yesterday in my dream as well ). I pick up the jar and carry it into the kitchen where I sit it and myself down at the table. I look into the jar and say “are you in there?” The woman, who appears roughly 40 years of age, has long straight blonde hair and is dressed in purple and blue colors comes out of the jar and into the room. I proceed to tell her about the man in the back room, describing how many Ibuprofen tablets ( circular and red ) he had taken. It is hard to get her to listen to me, I am explaining how I burned the tip of my finger when I tried to touch his back.

A resolution is attempted when the female supervisor, rather than doing anything herself instead informs the young man I have come to her. This brings the two of us face to face again. He is outraged I would tell anyone of what he feels is his own personal business and none of mine. I am trying to explaining how harmful that many pain relievers is and that I am just very concerned for his wellbeing. To get away from me, still not listening —I suppose I was not listening as well as I should have been to him either— he takes a backwards free-fall kind of swan dive from a platform we are sanding on that I now see extends off a moving ship that is up in the atmosphere. I am shocked. I do not know what to do, “did he just kill himself?” I quickly wonder. The female supervisor is out here on the platform with me. 

We begin scanning the ground below, brown sand with periodic shrubs. 

I zoom my vision in to see closer to ground level and spot him standing there, beginning to walk in a particular direction. He is fine, “he is alive” I say, feeling intense, immense relief.

February 5, 2024

I discover a Guardian entity in my room with me who is calling me out

In the middle of the night, somewhere around 2-3am, one cycle into my sleep I become aware of an entity who is here in the room with me. When I say this, in most cases I am referring to the etheric frequency, as in the majority, if not all cases no being is allowed entry into my personal ( physical ) space. He seems to be a Guardian of some sort, but sent to me by whom I am not sure. He appears a kind of lupine being, a wolverine, a man beast; not easy in the slightest to look directly upon.

He has a female of his same species near to him, who covets him. He is, this night, for reasons unknown to me trying to wake me into the etheric in order to bring me into the same space as him. I am laying here in a perfectly supine position and he is above, nose to nose with me emitting the words “wake up”. I have already come alert to him and split my consciousness, keeping half in the body and half in an area out beyond where he can effectively detect—but in the body am feigning sleep. Observing myself I am amazed at how still how I can be as this is happening, physically, energetically, and mentally. I am choosing to stay in this stance, observing through all spectrums in order to maintain a greater view of this being, his intent, the Orders upon which he is acting as Guardian, who they come from, if there is a faction or sided frequency they serve. 

It is only a portion of all this that still remains with me as I wake in the morning. Too much happens, directly within the event and later when I fall off into service through the remainder of the night myself. What I do recall observing is myself from the variety of points of view, including inside my sleeping body where I am controlling my feign through the sympathetic/parasympathetic nervous systems —keeping myself deep within the latter so that I do appear asleep and wherein I remain in command of the stillness of my mind. I am also, directly through my awareness gleaning a peripheral view of this being. It amazes me that I am capable of all this, and how instinctually it comes. I just do not know if this is a being to trust. I am not getting an immediate read. It is taking much more, which speaks volumes in itself of the complexity involved here.

Now and again, the female with the Guardian sweeps in over me. She does not like me, or .. more accurately .. does not like the amount of attention taken from her in the Service he performs relative to me. I, myself, am not significant enough to like or dislike. They both seem interested in a ball jar of clear water I have here in my room. Is it the probiotic water I have begun drinking? I do see more into this but the greater details are part of what does not make it back with me.

Throughout the entirety of this event I am feeling the presence of the Guardian, the displeasure of the female, the mental movement inciting me to wake into the same space as the Guardian. I am periodically seeing into activity within their own realm of being. Specifically, there is a moment wherein the female feels the Guardian is away from me. She attempts to take advantage of the moment, sweeping in to a position hovering over me where she aims to do me harm while I sleep. It is not true that the Guardian is away, he is on the periphery of our joint presence but not away. As she is about to strike me, as she raises her right arm he severs it wholly at the shoulder with what I perceive as a bow and arrow, as it has come from such a great distance. I later see that it was a fatal blow, when a tractor-like vehicle removes her remains from the area.

I continue to observe, unmoving.
[ not only the activity surrounding the Guardian but all my inner processes.]

I still do not know if the Guardian is someone to trust. All of this might still have been arranged for a purpose beyond my own best interest. To instill a false sense of trust. I find my personal energy, within my own body system beginning to trust him, though I am observing from a wider stance which also still does not know. The complexity is intricate, elaborate—the ‘elaborate’ is what is keeping my attention wide. It is more a tool of the dark, than the light.

From here I fall off into multiple households, where I work in service, in a subservient and domestic capacity for multiple others. Of the many, two stand out. 

One is in the household of Spanish ( or perhaps Mexican ) women. They bring me on even though I will not renounce my awareness of and association with ET beings. I like this job, in fact I like each service I fall into tonight ….or at least I think I do -it could be this sense is being instilled rather than rising naturally from within me. The women do not think there is much to do, but I see what needs to be done and say there is a great deal, which I just instinctually set out to do. The second is in an office, it stands out only due to the other situations being within personal households. I am coming on as a personal assistant to older male. I, myself, am telling him what it is I will be doing for him. <— this is an undercurrent through all the various positions tonight, I am seeing what is needed and 1 ) relaying this, and 2 ) fulfilling the need.

Note: the tones which began the first of this month, coming through the right one night and the left the next are continuing; same pattern in the alternate ear every other night.

February 4, 2024

Underwater domed structure—city—civilization meets its end

In this first set of scenes I am together with another male, he is much older than me, roughly 20 years older, it feels like a working relationship. I think we build things. I no longer recall what was happening up on land, only the point where we dive into a large body of water – an ocean – and begin swimming way down deep. We swim down to a depth that my conscious mind is affected and begins to wonder about how I will breathe and how the weight of the water is not crushing us. We are wearing no special gear. I begin to see a large, circular domed structure down on the see floor. No sooner than I see it, we are inside of it. On our way, just prior to entering the older male I am with gets tangled up with some large pink colored jellyfish-like sea creature, I can hear myself being told that this area of the waters rarely has any creature activity, what has just happened is a rare occurrence. I watch as the man skillfully maneuvers within the tentacles of the thing, works his way free and enters the domed structure with me. 

My first moments inside are in awe, “who would build something like this, this far down under the water!” I ask from within my own mind. I can feel the breathable air and take a cautious first breath. My mind is blown as I look around and begin to see it is a whole city that has been built inside. It appears to be vacant, I see no other living people. It seems like we are here in a maintenance capacity, to attend and/or even fix something that might need fixing. 

The data is coming in so fast I am not catching any of the transitions between sets of scenes. 

I see two female nurses, a charge nurse and a younger nurse, the latter of whom is standing over a patient laying on a sofa. The young nurse sees that an IV has fallen out from the patient’s arm. It is just laying here on the floor. She feels immediate shock and fear. Does she hide what has happened or tell the truth? She decides on the latter. I then see them all walking away, the charge nurse explaining to an executive level male that the woman passed naturally of dehydration. In the midst of other random bits of scenes I hear a loud sound and see the tip of something diamond shaped pierce the top of the central area of the dome. As this happens, the older male I am with is in a ground vehicle and moving up a central paved path, he is not sure whether to continue or turn back around for me. I am telling him he should turn back around.

In all this activity, moving between sets of data I, myself, seem to shift more toward my current sense of self. I feel I need to get to someone who I know works in the offices here — Maria -a person I know IRL. I am trying to get in to see her to let her know the roof of the dome has been pierced and the structure compromised but I am being stopped by a black female executive who is asking for my identification. I do have it, I am searching my pockets. I pull out some papers that are not my identification, the woman takes these before I can tell her the papers are not it. I keep searching and finally find my card. I find the woman just inside the door to a room that is in front of me. She is standing here going over the papers with two other females. I decide to not bother, I see Maria and step over to her. She is looking at me knowingly, the people have not been told yet what has happened but she knows that something has. I confirm, “the dome has been pierced.” Water is beginning to flood into the city.

We both immediately consign ourselves to knowing our end is near -and not unlike an indigenous kind of people begin setting the space for our departure from life, knowing that what happens in the moments before and of the departure are important to a successful crossing. I recall seeing a large flying insect and sweeping it away. I recall seeing a horse, feeling its impetus to flee and being sad for it that there was no such place. My attention returns. >>

We are setting up our spaces close to one another, laying incense down below the blankets we will lay upon as we succumb. While engaged in these preparations, suddenly and to our great surprise a swarm of a dozen or more air vehicles that look similar to helicopters fly in high from my right. Someone must have been able to make a call out for help? Hope springs from my heart. The air vehicles fly in lower sending down white ladders off their left sides. As this happens I begin seeing more and more people, rushing for the ladders. I, myself, am running for the one closest to me. It seems to take me many minutes and significant effort to get to it. I see one man in the crowd getting angry and fighting for his right to a seat. A large, kind faced enforcement officer is trying to keep him and everyone calm. With my hands on the white ladder, I call to him, “can I go up?” I ask. He steps over to me, a doubtful look upon his face as he explains there are already two elderly people up there, plus someone injured… It does not look like I, myself, will make it out of here. I am again beginning to resign myself to my fate — as I begin to wake.

As I am waking, looking around in the scenes I wonder why I had at first resigned myself so fast. Of course the people must have gotten down here somehow, of course there would be vehicles in which some could be evacuated. This never even occurred to me, though. I went straight toward setting up a space to make a successful crossing. I suppose because it was all happening so fast and the end could be so thoroughly felt.

*  *  *

Note: In the night, periodically as I slept and the brainwaves moved through beta I could feel a pain in my right anterior shin; the pain was quite significant. This is the area below the knee I have recently injured, where the majority of all bruising was and where I experienced the most discomfort. It would appear healing efforts are still in play and underway through this area of my leg.

Upon waking I immediately gave thanks.

February 3, 2024

A potential communication about the black cubes; two negative groups
still able to work through me

This one begins from so far up above where 3D visual experience begins this core feature of it almost gets by me. —from very high up above I am looking down at 2 negative groups I am still working with -or two negative groups still able to work through me. From this distance they appear as two upright oriented rectangular shaped patterns comprised of squiggly lines. Each of the patterns is as unique and different as any fingerprint. One of the two is much more significant in its depth of negative impression than the other. As I come down into scenes related to each of the two I pass through several ( roughly 7 ) layers of clear planes of impressions that leave their shadows of negative influence in the ground level field. The scenario in the first is based on me and a female housemate. The second revolves around me, my husband and his mother; there is mob-like activity in this one, however so high end one might not ever realize it, the energy coming through the mother is highly influenced by evil. 

The scene is at a birthday party I have thrown for my husband,—from my observing stance I can see and feel the energy around the room coming from each of the people present. There is one male who is here who is the most problematic. His energy brings in the arrival of a confrontation from my husband’s mother. She arrives in a shadow, sitting on a green velvet chair. Beneath the exterior scene, in which I am mixing a drink, I find my left hand on her left shoulder. Once this contact is made she comes out from the shadow layer and into the scene.

We are sitting across from one another in a booth, she is confronting me about having asked people to leave the gathering early. This is the influence of the problematic male, who wants to bring work related issues up to my husband at his party. I tell her this is not true, what I did was place a time parameter at which I would like no more work related matters brought up to her son. We are celebrating, he should enjoy himself tonight. 

It is at this point that the mother begins to more actively negatively manipulate.

She brings my attention to a full glass of coffee that is sitting in front of me. I do not drink, not even coffee but it seems I have had one tonight in order to keep up and keep going. It is a second glass that is sitting in front of me now and I am telling her I am already spinning from just the first. It is a horrible feeling, as the influence of coffee always is on me. I can feel it swirling within me now. The cup is filled to the very brim, I notice as my attention again shifts upward, passing through the structure of layered clear planes to the position from which I am looking down at the original rectangular shaped patterns of squiggly lines. 

In the process of letting the patterns and shift up and down through the layered planes be prevalent in my awareness, I let go of most of what is happening in the scenes. In doing this I begin to wonder if what I am being shown has to do with the stings of : black cubes : hanging off the back of my calf. **I began wondering last night before bed if they are still there ( yes answer ) and how it is I am supposed to work them off.

I will be keeping all of this in my mind as potentially related.

Processing, processing, processing.

***

Note: the last two nights I have been getting major tones in my ears -last night was the left, the night before, the right. After having just logged this experience I have a pretty major temporal-ocular headache behind the right eye. I will be jumping in the shower to clear whatever this is off.

February 2, 2024

Long restless night, heavy rain, biologically affected

Maybe it is the energy of the rain, I am not sure, but I cannot easily fall off to sleep. It takes me many hours, more than four hours to finally knock off. I have to get up every couple hours to use the bathroom, repeatedly from about 10pm onward ( the rain, too? ).

I am not able to hold to any of my dreams each time I wake,—not only does the sensation of having to go the bathroom take precedence but so, too, does a documentary I watched yesterday about Amelia Earhart. I keep imagining what it must have been like for her, held prisoner in that tiny cell by the Japanese. I want to ask my Inner being what happened to her but I can’t even hold to question long enough to see. I wish I could, a part of me really wants to reach her.

One of the last times I wake from dreaming all I can see and say is “wow, that seems like it was probably wild and out there”, it truly is, too, I can see just not long enough to hold on, —and the final time I wake it is from being a member of a family who all died.

February 1, 2024

Building community, the threshold between wake and sleep, a light filled room

Through a good portion of the night I am centered on a set of scenes in which I am helping to build a community center. I am observing as point consciousness and periodically merging with a young adult male. It looks like the center itself is for young males, all I see are this, but it could be they are just who is behind getting it going and it is for everyone of this age group ( <35 ). The place is very bare bones when I arrive to the scene, the idea is that there is an area for writers, an area for games, and a cafeteria. The dream is first focused on building momentum, getting people in to use the place, especially the writers area which seems to be the draw. The dream plays out slowly in a highly linear, mundane fashion, moment to moment. My dreams only very rarely occur this way. I might suspect I have traveled into a consensus space. 

Closer to waking, I am laying comfortably in the bed listening to the rain—periodically getting pulled under and resurfacing; each time I resurface it is from a new scene. I am in shallow waters throughout, close to the border between wake and sleep, only juuust to the etheric side when I get pulled under, and just to the wake side when I resurface. This territory is the place of Inner communication, where visions often occur, precognitive information comes through, and/or I am spoken to directly from my Inner being through symbols. It is a favorite of mine, in areas to explore. I could literally stay in it forever and never tire. It is the sweet spot of exploration.

Surfacing from my first dip it is from a large, well made theatre with plush red seats ( circa 1940? ). Again observing as point consciousness, from off to the far right side of theatre I see a German military woman, thusly attired, stand while in a thick accent say “okay, that is enough, let’s go.” I now see there are a few other men in the theatre, all spread out from one another and the woman. I glean that they are here to preview the film that had been playing ( which I did not look to see ) but only 10 or so minutes into it the woman, clearly in command of the others, has had enough. I can hear the opposing mental activity of the other men. They are supposed to preview the whole thing. The woman doesn’t seem to care. She is done and they are all standing and heading out.

The next time I surface it is from a young girls sleeping party.
It is a quick dip. I see just the scene and resurface.

Now a beautiful feeling, light filled room.

I am sitting on the floor aside a bed adorned in white when Jagger, my housemate’s dog comes in and paws up on the bed. He looks just stunning. Jagger is a white coated dog but because of how much time he spends at the beach in the salt water his coat is almost never dry and combed. Here he looks really young, full grown but young and his coat looks spectacular -slightly different than IRL, with a bit of a golden tinge to the white across the back. “Jagger!”, I say when he comes in, “have you come to get me?” I can’t get over how young he looks, but never realize I am anywhere other than real space. He has come to get me. 

My consciousness shifts with him downstairs to our actual living room. Erica is down here having a conversation with Aaron. I can hear it quite well, but also do not want to intrude into their private talk -so I do not bring the contents of it back with me. I do wonder what I think Jagger wanted me to hear, though. In wondering I find myself holding Charlie B. Or is it just another little dog who is like him? It is both, I think, the data is fluctuating back and forth.

I spend a moment sending love to Charlie, then my attention goes to the other little fellow who is clearly sick and about to empty the contents of his stomach. As soon as all this is over I again turn to Jagger. I am about to resurface again but before I do I tell him I will make him some salmon tonight. It is at least in part why I think he came. Bless him.