Prologue

It is a challenging month that begins horrifically, the theme of torture and killing takes center stage then from here it goes unceasingly into survival and survival preparedness; scenario after scenario, night after night. There is a cluster of days mid-month when no logs have been made due to the dreams consisting of scenarios on the same theme. I reached a point of flabbergast at the steady repetitiveness and began to feel un-obliged to keep reporting essentially the same thing. However, after a few nights had passed and the theme was still flowing as steadily as when it began, I started to feel it more important. I am certain, beyond any shadow of a doubt this has never happened before. Neither in the event of a single subject matter being SO persistent, nor dreams themselves being so heavily centered on Earth-life and physical matters.

The word, or focus coming through this month is clear >>

Survival, survival, SURVIVAL

….

….

Dream Titles

• Mind probed for data on Enki, controlled areas of the Middle East
• A night in the lower realm, kill room
• On the verge of wake and sleep, email from Erich, feline-human hybrid contact
• I am contacted in the Void ( retrieval ), captive young male human hostages
• A tour of the internal networking of my body
• Group abduction, what happens in the line going up
• What I do when instructed to kill someone
• Walking the city without being seen, chase scenes, the Middle East, molestation and killing
• Running myself through survival scenarios
• Preparing, learning new skills, building an outdoor latrine
• Survival preparedness ( the theme continues ), 9s and black dolphin
• Reaching out in the etheric to a housemate with the need to begin preparing
• More survival scenarios, bots observing me, human hybrid synthetic androids
• A meeting in the after realm ( or in-between ) with Erich and Carie
• A visitation from the church, food not readily available
• Planting a garden, harvesting my own seeds
• Survival challenge; unclean living conditions and lack of sanitation
• Survival continues to remain the theme
• A productive bedside collaboration with guidance
• Dismemberment, aggressive behavior in an et species, future data
• Zeus, the gods, late night electrical work in the house of … ( who? )
• Survival, water, water storage, the challenge of other people
• It is a rough night on my body, physical duress, throwing myself out of my dreams
• The world has essentially stopped, I am learning how to cook without electricity >>
  an odd nudge/shove forward

….

November 30, 2023

The world has essentially stopped, I am learning how to cook without electricity >>
an odd nudge/shove forward

I have just 2 bits —of course the theme of the month ( ie: survival ) continues unrelentingly. 

There is just this one moment from within the scenes that I can see as I am waking, I see it is the same survival theme and am not motivated to really go in there to see more. Something has happened, The world, at least that of it where we are living has essentially stopped. People are not able to easily get around, resources are down to what each household already has at hand. This said, we are meeting outdoors in small groups and some of us are sharing. I am looking for butane canisters and asking a man who is in front of me if he has any. It feels like there may be 4 of them. I have been learning the different ways to cook, indoors and out without electricity. 

A male guide is here with me, he is with me all throughout the night, wherever I happen to show up. I can feel him, and sort of see him, he is roughly my age and looks like an outdoorsman, like someone who is experienced in matters. There is a point late night / very early morning when I guess the brainwaves were shifting and another male figure, much larger than your average human and I think with a shaved head puts a hand on my shoulder and pushes me forward -in a seamless instant I am back in my bed. I am alert enough to have caught the oddity of the happening and think “how interesting.” I am also wondering why I needed a shove.

This male being seems quite indiferent and disinterested in me. 

I am not sure why he gave me the helpful? nudge.

November 28, 2023

It is a rough night on my body, physical duress, throwing myself out of my dreams

Another rough one, in terms of nights.. the gravity both into and out of the dream state is strong and near explosive. Multiple times in the night, as the brainwaves are cycling through beta I throw myself out into physical space where I moan loudly at the mental and physical discomfort I am feeling as I either shift my position or get wholly up to use the bathroom.

I feel heavy, old and in pain generally throughout the body. My breathing is labored. This continues all the way through to the morning. When I am clearly dreaming, and acknowledge, much to my surprise that “survival” was not the theme tonight. The duress of the body is keeping me both from holding on to the scenes and going in for more detail. It is all just a hair’s breadth from me. There is a female and two other females around her. It is all I am able to detect. Interestingly, however, I feel that they have been reaching out to me. Even, now, late in the day I am periodically getting “zinged” by the dream scenes. They are truly. still. so. close.

November 27, 2023

Survival, water, water storage, the challenge of other people

Today I am right back to survival scenes—this goes on from the top to the bottom of the night. It begins with thoughts of water and water storage. It is challenging for me to even get to sleep because my mind is plagued with the hose water with which I filled the 5 gallon bottles of water I recently purchased and left with my family in Alpine. It is not ideal, I want to fix it but I don’t know how, the bottles are so heavy. Most nights it is like this now >>

A sense of dread and even panic comes on me. I am not sure what to do. This has never happened before. I am certainly taking steps to be more prepared for potential emergency. The world seems so uncertain right now and it seems the intelligent thing to do. We have forgotten so much in our contemporary society when it comes to basic needs, doing things manually without the aid of electronics. It seems someone…more of us…should reconnect with previous knowledge. Now, -before it will be more of a burden. I am dedicating time for this each day, learning what I can. And one by one, acquiring items every one of us should probably have on hand in case of emergency. It can be a lot ( to say the least ), beginning from scratch.

In the dream field the challenge given to me is surviving people, a steady stream of various outside groups. At the same time I am trying to stay together, on the same path, timeline and elevation as my mom. We are traveling on foot, I have to navigate my way through the various groups of people without losing sight of her. Most of them are vague now in my mind, I do recall that moving through their areas was not fun. In the last of them I intersect with a man ( who may have showed up to rescue me ) with a large camper van. I know him and don’t know him.

It may be Dutchsinse.

As he is inviting me into his rig he is showing me how he has made it so that it does not look like anyone is actually living out of it. The door is opened, which is on the passenger side ( like a bus ), a silver privacy curtain is halfway open, revealing the driver’s side area. As I step on board a silver pillow is being held at the left side of my face so that I do not see all the way inside until I turn in that direction. As I do, I begin hearing the voice a female, his wife, who has been sleeping while he’s been out. The pillow comes away and I see how huge this thing is inside. 

I recall looking looking around.. I recall a lot of windows through which I can see how fast we were moving. I can see green hills and roadways and it seems to me the driver is slow to put on the brakes when turning corners. It feels that we can be hit by oncoming traffic. It then dawns on me that due to our size, 20 times bigger than any car I likely would not even feel a thing should that happen. I come away from the windows all the same and direct my attention to the interior. I just can’t believe how much space there is inside. There is a lot of isle space between the right and left sides. The seats, which include a low fitting brass grab rail across their tops are designed interestingly. Timeframes may be coalescing. I look out the front windshield to see we have arrived at a dead end. There are various buildings and we cannot get through. 

As we start to turn ourselves around a group of agents spot us, the man driving this rig in particular —we are descended upon instantly. 

The group of us include 3 females and the man driving ( I will call him Dutch, though the idea of Anton also phases in and out ). The group of agents include 1 or 2 men and 2 females. We are brought into a large room in one of the buildings. They have separated the 3 of us from Dutch, who they have sitting at a long table for interrogation. I am not sure what they want to know, or why he has become a target of interest. We are not, and have not done anything wrong. That I can see. I feel our innocence, all of ours – but I am a bit antsy all the same. We can see over to where they have Dutch seated. They have fed him a meal and he is eating as they talk. 

It stands out to me that they have fed him and not us, and I wonder to myself whether they have spiked the food with something that will make him speak more truthfully. I do not see how it is needed, he is forthcoming all on his own and is speaking freely. The girls and I, being detained and not able to see to our needs want to be fed as well. It does feel as though our basic needs will not be met. We tell this to the two female agents, who hadn’t even given it a thought. They try to think of something but then say there isn’t much of anything. They say we can have a chicken cheese stick if we want. It sounds awful. The other two girls with me might go for it but, as my attention begins shifting away from here I am telling them I do not eat meat. In the open space of wondering if there is another option …..I wake.

November 26, 2023

Zeus, the gods, late night electrical work in the house of … ( who? )

It is deep into the night.

I am in a house that is to some degree being reconstructed from inside. Many of the electrical switches and outlets in the walls have been plastered over and these are now being unearthed. The house belongs to a slim, 30-something aged young man with brown hair. I cannot see who I am but it feels like we are in some way partnered, whether legally as spouses or otherwise. The whole air of the place feels like a small college party of close knit friends, especially with the arrival of someone dear, an old friend, the air “of the old days” arises. I recognize the man who has arrived, I am surprised and extremely happy to see him. I call out enthusiastically “Ben!” — Ben is played by an actor I am familiar with, but, offhand I do not know his name. He is young – we have all reverted to our younger selves within this event – has beautiful blonde hair, and often plays the role of someone privileged, carefree/careless, even elitist. I believe all of these qualities are attempting to come through in who our dear friend has appeared as. 

Seeing Ben has made me think of our late night college days. I am wanting him to bring drinks, what was our favorite, Malibu Rum and pineapple juice. He comes with a packaged tiny bottle of each, hands it to me -expecting the first pour for himself. I mix the drink, hand it to him and communicate that there is not enough for another glass. I tell him this is why I never bother with the packaged things, they shrink the size of everything and are a rip-off. There is a market across the street, I can easily run there and get more so I can join him. I do not see myself ever do this, instead a dialogue begins to take over. A telepathic exchange. Ben is saying he knows this house is worth its weight in gold. He is indicating he either wants it, or wants in. I know he cannot have it. My partner, husband, who is a kind and easy going man, would not ever let it go. He is putting a lot of ( overt ) effort into reconstructing and updating areas of it even now. I look over my left shoulder and lovingly admire what he is doing.

[ There is a mix of timeframes in what I see and feel, broadly the past and potential future, more specifically the turn of the 20th century and the 1960s leading into present time. There is the flavor of archaeology, of muslin and thin linen, stringed lanterns lighting the night, both inside and out. It is magical. ]

I am telling Ben all this while my attention drifts to the landscaping outside the house. I am admiring how established the plants, trees and foliage have become and expressing how they sustain themselves so effortlessly now. My attention shifts once more, I think I must be traveling through the frequencies back toward physical space. I see myself mostly in the black but can hear I am being spoken to. A name is being said to me, the name is Zeus. The name is given in a fuller array, as we often do here on Earth with a first, middle and last name and in this light the name is being stated as something like : Zeus Amadeus Dieau. The name is stated again and again. Someone, without doubt wants me to hear and carry this forward with me. I do not have the middle or last part exactly correct but it is close. 

Zeus is the part that is standing out due to the association with lightning ( electricity ) and it is the electrical system in the house that we are bringing back out to the surface. Is it Zeus who is really behind the part of Ben? The privileged air about him easily likens to that of the gods. It does match. Is this why he “wanted” or wanted IN the house? — because it is what we ourselves are bringing back? It would seem that in an easy word the answer to this is yes. 

Now if I only knew whose House this truly was. I’d know the bloodline.

I would know my connection point to this power.

November 25, 2023

Dismemberment, aggressive behavior in an et species, future data

Another intense night of dreams. I have left the details of the stories behind and brought just the major, important fragments back with me. In the first my perspective is coming out of and into a man who is being held up off the ground by his arm ( by a giant of a man ) as his limbs are being sequentially more hacked off by an axe—beginning with the ankles/feet, then wrists/hands, then further up the legs and arms until he is only a torso. As my point of attention has free range to exit this body I am feeling no pain, and from the outside looking back at the man I see there is no blood. This confuses me, on top of the already mass confusion at the occurrence of the event in itself. 

From here I get caught in a square staircase loop. It doesn’t go anywhere other than the roughly 4 floors it contains. I want to say that visually this may be within a mall, there seem to be accessible stores surrounding the staircase itself. The people in the background of this experience have no idea what is going on. I am working with 3 other men to escape a kind of upright standing winged animal that is here that has somehow become sexually aggressive.

I have no idea why it ( or they ) are coming after what look to be people but their aggression can be fatal. One is hot on my tail as I take flight onto the staircase. It does reach me as well. I am able to feel, as far away as from my sleeping body in the bed, the being ram its rounded beak repeatedly into my back between the shoulder blades. One of the men who in the scene is trying to keep the thing away from me is asking if I am alright. I somehow am. I have compassion for these beings and am aiming at a peaceful resolution to what is happening here. 

Back in the bed my body is in kumbhaka ( breath cessation ). I am laying flat on my back in stasis, or what some call sleep paralysis. The mouth is closed but a large rounded pocket has been formed through the oral cavity. The whole area is dry as a bone. This captures my attention as it is not what I could call a pleasant sensation, and I attempt to moisten the inside of my mouth.

This lasts only a moment as I am still being strongly pulled within and I find I am landing in another, this time more modern city scene. The contents of this one have been removed from me, save a single happening that occurs when, through the return shift I am attempting to embed the experience. — visually it appears I am typing a FB post.

I have written the sentence,

“We have entered one of the three major megatropolises, …”

Rather than write the name of the actual city I have said only this and for a moment I am caught on the spelling of the word, I am not confident I have the plural vernacular correct. 

In my hesitation, all of a sudden a wonderful light frequency is beamed down at me. So intent at not only my devastation at events that have just occurred, but embedding what I can of what I have just experienced I almost do not let it take hold of my attention — but in a last moment I give in and do. I let it blend with me, remind me of home, my natural state and who I am.  I then look back to what I have written, the one simple sentence, and seamlessly shift back into my body.

It is still in stasis, still laying supine pinned to the bed. The mouth, still bone dry. I feel dizzy, intoxicatingly heavy as I re-synch with physical space, with my body, attempting to understand what has just happened and at the same time moisten the mouth so that I can breathe again. Physical space is so thick, so dense relative to where I had just been, my head is swimming as I complete making the shift. Everything is in a swirl. I have to lay here saying my key words, again and again for roughly a half hour before they will remain stable. 

I wish I could have brought back more, but at the same time am content that I did not. The data this entire month has been so continuously challenging.

What more I could handle I am not sure.

November 24, 2023

A productive bedside collaboration with guidance

An interesting thing happened in the night that I will report, even though I can log only the happening in itself—again the intricate and precise detail did not make it through to the morning with me. I had fallen asleep with the laptop open, listening to lectures and interviews. Hours after having fallen off >> there is a being here with me in the room, sitting on the bed aside my sleeping body who is conversing with me in the in-between state.

There is something being said in one of the videos which I think is being said by Paul Selig, I really love him. The imprints his own guides have left him with are substantial. There is something in what he is saying in the video that the one here with me is using to help me see why a pattern keeps repeating in my life. Why I keep drawing a certain situation to me in my lifetimes connected with this one. I am totally getting it. I would like to have brought the exact detail of what this is back with me, but I also realize it has been left for me to discover on my own in the field itself.

I am happy to have recalled even just this event happening in itself. And the feeling of our lovely collaboration still lingers here with me. We are never alone.

Assistance is always here with us.

November 23, 2023

Survival continues to remain the theme

Today is Thanksgiving. — survival remained the theme again tonight, I am taking the day off from reporting the details. I have a long day ahead and have to jump up and get going at what is still a very early hour. Today I will focus on the day.

November 22, 2023

Survival challenge; unclean living conditions and lack of sanitation

Surviving a variety of unclean living situations. There is a lack of sanitation and food is low end and scarce. There are multiple tests to see what I will do; take food that is my own or leave it for someone even less fortunate. I see a scene where I am looking at myself near naked in the mirror. I am wearing a single garment, a linen cloth I am wearing as a clock which I have thrown back over my shoulders. I begin celebratory dancing due to having grown more thin.I see myself up on the roof of a dorm building being spoken to by a young college aged female about her need for common spaces to be left clean. There is an object up here that was just earlier down below in one of the rooms I found myself. I am asking what it is, curious and investigating. I see roughly what it is, a hive shaped something that some kind of winged insect is drawn to ( wasps? bees? ). I can hear them all inside and see a few in the air around the thing that are hesitating between entering and/or coming after me.

November 21, 2023

Planting a garden, harvesting my own seeds

I bring back only the gist. I am planting a garden from seeds I have harvested myself. It just keeps going on and on—survival themed dreams. What the heck?!@#$

I am going to leave it at just this today.

November 20, 2023

A visitation from the church, food not readily available

A religious man ( of the cloth ) has come to my house, he is accompanied by two female attendants. He is young, fair skinned and fair haired, and portrayed by a young actor whose name is not coming to me at the moment; he often plays the roll of a less desirable. He is wearing a simple black garment as he steps up in front of me in my all but empty living room and says something about having just recently lost 10 pounds, he is weak from not eating.

The idea here is that there has not been much food available. His two attendants have brought grapefruits to squeeze for him. As they see me squeezing some of my own for myself they are concerned those of us here in the house may use theirs of ourself. I suggest they put their own provisions on a separate counter that will be just for them. I see a long, thin rectangular wood board laying horizontal up off the ground and suggest they use this space. I will tell the house the area is for their disposal. Again I see myself squeezing my own grapefruit juice. 

This visitation feels unique to those I have had in the past.

Something more is going on here but I cannot pinpoint what it is. Food not being readily available puts this right in with the survival theme plaguing me recently.

There is something more than this, though.

It will come to me.

November 19, 2023

A meeting in the after realm ( or in-between ) with Erich and Carie

I am in a house with Erich and Carie.. we have met for a purpose, there is something we are all doing together but I cannot see the core of what this is. When I wake I am wondering to myself which one of us Carie has come to meet, which one of us is readying to cross over. 

So much happens within this experience that I can no longer piece it all together but there are a few of areas – moments – that have stayed with me. In the first, a black man, an elder has come by with his two twin grandsons. They have strong feline DNA and are fluctuating in my awareness between cat and boy. A hamburger is cut in half and Carie begins feeding it to the one, I naturally move toward other and begin trying to feed him. It is never going to work on the bun with all these condiments ( as the cat’s mouth is too small ). I begin breaking off bits of the burger patty and begin feeding him this way. I am already beginning to shift.

The next moment I can see I am standing in the kitchen at the sink.

Erich walks up to me very close so that my mind comes away from where it is and can feel his presence. Once I feel it, I lean my head onto his chest. I feel the warmth for a moment, then he shoes me more forward into the scene and chain of activity. 

Now I am walking with Carie,
we’ve a long ways to go so I tell her I had better go back for my shoes. 

In this moment I am realizing the ground is not even hot, I do not even know why I am making excuses to go back -for my shoes or otherwise. I can see the ground we are walking upon is concrete, like the pathways down at the beach. We begin walking in the other direction, retracing our steps but then all of a sudden I am sitting on the back end of a black SUV type all terrain vehicle. I have decided not to bother climbing in, I will just sit on this back bumper seat and hold on. Carie runs up from behind and magically leap frogs through the back open window area, effortlessly landing on a seat a few rows up on the passenger side.

There are others entering the vehicle this way also. The last thing I remember before waking is the vehicle taking off—me holding on, on the back end.

November 18, 2023

More survival scenarios, bots observing me, human hybrid synthetic androids

It is a nice, cool night following a much needed rain storm.. my window is wide open, both fans in my room are on and blowing right on me but for reasons unknown, all through the night I am experiencing intense heat in my body. The heat is causing me to toss and turn in attempts to get comfortable. Due to this my sleep is not very deep but I can hear my inner dialogue with Inner being and see vaguely into multiple scenes. The survival theme is still playing out. In the first area I see I am getting hands on, practical experience using a compass in a nighttime rain storm. In another I am learning about canning. Nearing morning, I hear myself noting this to Inner being, citing it as circumference activity and requesting to see deeper into my dreaming. By the time I am waking I see I am in a set of scenes that are all connected >>

In no particular order : I see myself stepping into a shower with beige tiles, two brown stick-like specks are on the wall, I try to wash them away with the shower head and the small stick-like figures expand wings and begin to fly. They appear much larger now. As they head for the door I consider aiming the shower head at them but then think better of it.

The fly things have reminded me that I had seen these in another scene ( are they bots observing me? ). In the other scene I am at the park. Erich and Leslie both arrive and there is some unresolved energy between us, especially ( and surprisingly ) between Leslie and I. It makes me want to move out of their way so they can enjoy themselves—none of us are here for the purpose of a confrontation. I seem to be with a small group of 2 or 3 others -a family unit? I can see one of the females. I am walking toward where we had parked and set ourselves up and they are all on the move toward me saying “they moved us to the other park.”

“What?” I say out loud, “what do you mean they moved us, how could they have moved our car?” The female I am speaking to is not happy, and she doesn’t know how they moved those of us they did, she isn’t concerning herself with that. As the head of the family she is only concerned with keeping us all together and reuniting with our belongings. Specifically the car because without it we are not mobile. I am now beginning to see into the “other” park area.

In particular I see a male, he has a letter in his hands that he is opening. Inside are two checks, one is made out for some small amount and the other for 10,000. The handwritten note on the letter indicates the money, even the large amount is for food items. He slides the larger check behind the small one and is putting them back into the envelope when another, slightly younger man approaches him. He is some kind of security. He wants him to do something, maybe report the amount he received with the authority here. 

The other man uses the system here against itself now, and politely, though inwardly, lightly smug says he really wouldn’t rightly know how to do that. In this dynamic going on between the two men I am beginning to realize that this area is for androids, human hybrid synthetic androids. They are not thought to be as intelligent as the human and et species behind the creating of them. I am also beginning to see that it is for this purpose that our small group and others from the previous park have been moved here. We are being ushered into this project. We will be modified, confined here and observed like the rest. It is its own little city system, but there are watchers. The one who approached the male with the letter and checks can only remind the synth of the proper procedures, he cannot himself force to enact it. The synth is clearly, quite intelligent declining any outside assistance. In fact, it is somewhat clear to me that what we have here is a renegade.

He has human friends and family who support him in this new situation.

He will use the funds sent to him to help bring this all down.

November 17, 2023

Reaching out in the etheric to a housemate with the need to begin preparing

More of the same ( again ), learning what I can and preparing for what I feel is coming. What I am learning has to do with making life as comfortable as possible during times when there may be no reliable source of power/electricity. I am walking from one scene into another in a steady stream. I reach an area outside of a plaza leading into multiple places of residence.

I run into Ryn, the man who with his wife owns the home where I am currently living. In fact, he built the home himself top to bottom. I am showing him how I have learned how to make what is called a flower pot fridge. Where you take a 12″ and 10″ terracotta pot, place the smaller into the larger then pour sand in the gap between the two -throwing a wet towel over the top keeps the air significantly cooler inside the pot than outside of it.

I am following Ryn to the rear of him like some kind of puppy, letting him know I am learning to do what I think is this great thing, and also maybe trying to get his input. — not just on the construction of the thing but its necessity. Question: am I contacting Ryn in the dream state to pass on to him what I think I know is coming to instill in him a sense of beginning to make more preparations for he and his family? Immediately I know this is highly possible.

There is a point in the scene where Ryn stops and leans on a wall, I do not see him stop and run into him. In the physical contact there is an energy I do not want to mess with, it is not what I want ( ie: a more intimate contact ). It floors me, I can’t seem to find my way around it.

Much more is happening in the scenes than what I have said,

I can’t reach into enough to intelligently write.

November 16, 2023

Survival preparedness ( the theme continues ), 9s and black dolphin

I have taken the past couple days off from making logs because they have just been more of the same on the theme of grid failure. My mind just does not seem to be letting up on this. Come morning today I see I am still in the dream realm working around this same theme but something interesting happened during it so I wanted to make a note of it.

I am walking around a store, fortifying my pantry but also getting items I feel I may need, such as a jacket ( yes, I live in So Cal and do not have a proper jacket ), a pair of all terrain shoes ( see previous note, lol ) a backpack, etc.. I am coming up to an isle that I see has large tote bags and when I see it I remember the backpack, I feel it must be close so I turn down this isle and look at the totes. I like the one I am seeing so I pick it up to look at the price tag. It says the price is 9.99. “Reasonable” I think to myself. I place it in my cart and continue up the isle where I begin to see lunch sacks. I am always looking for one ( IRL ) but never find one I like. 

The backpacks are just up ahead but I stop here first to have a look. These lunch sacks are just all solid black, but I pick one up and look at the price tag. It says the price is 9.99. It begins to more consciously occur to me that everything I pick up is 9.99. All nines, nothing but nines. I investigate the item further, opening the zipper and looking inside. It doesn’t exactly look like a standard lunch bag inside. The interior lining is bright white. There are 4-5 clear CD sized plastic squares that slide in and out on one side. The other side is empty. When I lift one of the clear plastic things out a black porcelain dolphin jumps up with it. 

Something just happened here, but I don’t know what. I have that sensation of time stopping, of missing time as I all of a sudden find myself back in the store looking inside the lunch bag, sliding the plastic thing back into place. I like the feature of the dolphin so much that I decide I will get this lunch bag. I am smiling to myself, thinking of both all the 9s and the dolphin as I place it in my cart—and simultaneously wake back to physical space.

November 13, 2023

Preparing, learning new skills, building an outdoor latrine

After my dream last night this does not surprise me. Tonight I am actually building an outdoor latrine made of wood. — the wood has instructions as well as additional code written into in large, unmissable black ink. It is not written on the outside of the wood but rather encoded into it. One of the pieces of data includes the exact distance from where I live in to my brother’s house in Alpine. I am not sure exactly how I am able to access and read all this code, I just am

November 12, 2023

Running myself through survival scenarios

It is a really rough night. My mind is caught in a web of wondering what I will do if the grid goes down.  I move through scenario after scenario, playing some of the key themes repeatedly to see as many potentials as possible. As I am waking I am reminding myself to study up on how to build a proper outdoor latrine. For whatever reason, my mind is highly focused into this as a future potential – for weeks it will not let up.

November 11, 2023

Walking the city without being seen >>
chase scenes, the middle east, molestation and killing

Looking in on my dreams from the wake state, the rate of the scenes, and even one dream shifting into another is impressive. I am not sure I have ever experienced this before. Every 5 minutes, relatively speaking, a scene shifts into another. It occurs to me this could have been a ( rapid-fire ) download. I am able to hold to only 5 of the specific scene shifts. In the first I am at a cash register where I make 3 consecutive purchases in a row. The first purchase is a couple hundred dollars, the second is near to this and the third is over three hundred. The first two I pay with my card, the third I am about to pay with a check. **theme: spending money too fast. There is an underlyingtheme throughout all the scenes, of trying to walk around the city without being seen. This desire leads to many chase scenes, one afte the other after the other. 

It is nighttime throughout this whole experience, but in the next scene the indoor lights are out also. I walk into a convenience, or drug store. I walk along the line of registers to the station at the far end where there is a cashier, a young female who I know. She looks at me and says “cigarettes?”, to which I resignedly say “yeah.” There is a young woman looking at the candy on a nearby display. She is interested in one which claims to have fewer calories and sugar than the others. I take the package into my hand, it weighs almost nothing. I say to her “see, they have puffed air into these, like a puffed cereal or popcorn”, letting her know she’d be paying the same price just to receive less. I can feel her anger at such dubious advertisement. As I am leaving the store I can feel it building into her being moved to not let this simply go by unchecked.

On my way out I see Rob, Kalina and the kids. I try to join them in where they are heading. Kalina begins going up a set of bleachers, I follow her and halfway up decide to playfully race her to the top. I reach the top a step before she does, but I was the only one really racing. The scene shifts from here to street level where again I am trying to merge myself with the group of them and go where it is they are going. It doesn’t work out. I walk with them for a bit and then realize I have lost them. I am now in an alley, at the back door to an eatery of some kind, >>

I can see the woman who owns the place at the window which she opens when a man runs up with a tray in his hands, unable to speak but clearly pointing to the food that was once on the tray having been poisoned. He then falls over dead. The woman closes the window as though nothing has even happened. I try to get her interested in solving and holding responsible those behind this. At first I think she IS interested, because she opens the window but now it would seem she may be sided with those who actually did it. She may just be trying to keep her head low. I don’t know. Question: Are these people Armenian?

Many of the chase scenes now begin to appear with Middle East figures. There are many more scenes of people being molested and even killed. In the last one I have run into the back yard of a house I know and from here am squatting low, watching 3 men across the street accost another. I think he is a young male who actually lives in this neighborhood. The other men are with some group, their scarves are all different, though; two are black, one is red and white checkered. They are all wearing tan colored gear. They have the boy bound, a bag is thrown over his head. I am not sure how it happens but the men become alert to my presence. Two of the men go into the brush with the boy while the other heads directly toward me. I can hear this thoughts, likely because I am merged with the female who is more actually here in this scene. He is thinking he is open to me being a woman, maybe he will not even hurt me if I will have sex with him. I stand and begin to run across the back yard but at the same as I want to get away I do not want to alert the people who live here to my presence. I am torn as to what to do but feel the rush to get myself to safety. 

The man is approaching faster than I am able to move and — meanwhile >> 

My conscious state of attention is beginning to split, I am pulling up and away from this female. I can see she is wearing a black burka with a scarf that is drawn across the face. She is young, she has beautiful, stunning eyes with dark lashes. I feel and even know she is going to be alright. The man is going to be waylaid when he sees her. He is not going to be able to hurt her. His sense of propriety is going to be triggered. She will get away and get to safety. 

This said, I am not feeling he will just forget her. It feels a more formal pursuit may begin.

My mind is traveling through various potentials as I gradually  w a k e .

November 10, 2023

What I do when instructed to kill someone

An older man is instructing me to kill someone. I walk up to him where he is seated, repeat back to him what he just said, ask him if this is correct, and say I need for him to say the words again himself as the scene pans out to reveal a large jury box of observers/witnesses. The man says again what he wants me to do, “yes, I want you to kill the man”, etc, etc.. As he is speaking I see only the reaction of the witnesses. I am not sure the man can an even see them. I suspect that he cannot. After this I am trying to get home. In fact, I think that even this last bit is a segment that happens within a larger segment of me trying to get home—back to physical space.

I woke so suddenly, as is common this past week that all I now recall is a moment after this where the phone is ringing. I reach into my purse and am surprised when I see an old flip phone. I do not recognize the number that is calling so I do not answer. I just put the phone back into my purse and keep walking. I have the sense that the call could have been from my mom, moments later I regret I did not answer. I don’t seem to have any way of reaching out to her myself and can’t seem to get back home. I just keep walking, and walking and walking.

November 6, 2023

Group abduction, what happens in the line going up

Another dream where I am with a group of people who are being held captive. 

This one is at times more comical, and almost more like a group abduction experience. We are are being walked in a line through a concrete area when one of the females who has been picked up says she has to use the bathroom. No notice was given to her before she was picked up so what is she supposed to do. I see the idea of one of the men peeing over the side of the walkway we are being walked along. A group of us energetically rally behind the woman and the somewhat comical looking man who is walking us takes us to what looks like a children’s bathroom with little tiny toilets. I barely feel as though I need to go at all but figure while I am here I should try. I am surprised when I sit down on the little toilet and pee for an extraordinarily long length of time. This is the only part of the experience that really catches my attention, my conscious attention.

November 5, 2023

A tour of the internal networking of my body

My dreaming is evasive this morning as I try to catch onto a “bit” I can begin to expand on.. I can catch the general theme, which is a sort of grand tour of the internal networking of my body-system. I am as though one with a scanning that is going up and down through the body. Crown to feet, feet to crown, again and again. No detail remains.

November 4, 2023

I am contacted in the Void ( retrieval ), captive young male human hostages

This one starts from within the Void. There is nothing but blackness all around me but I myself am somewhat visible as I approach, as though crawling on my belly, a young man who is reclining on his back. There seems to be something further up ahead to the front of us that is happening, which I may be positioning myself to view but it is not garnering much of my attention and I cannot see exactly what it is. For reasons unknown to me, what I instead do is sit myself upright with my legs extended straight out to my front ( dandasana ). I then place the young man in the same position on top of me, then slowly lay back and extend our legs overhead while moving toward the floor ( uttanasana ). It would seem this action has folded me into the young man’s mind space. I am now in another place. Inside a scene.

It takes me a few moments to realize the shift has happened, but I gradually come alert to the fact that I am inside a building, walking down hallways, looking into small cell units that house 2 men each. They are all young men, I see no women. The ideas of a hospital and jail are superimposed. There are no doors or bars that I see, just open doorways into each of the cell units. Inside of them there are no furnishings, no beds, no toilet. They are simply empty cells. Some are square, some rectangular. The men are sitting propped up against the walls with their legs splayed and sometimes heads drooping. As I walk by, some of them seem to notice me. The walls are a light, pale green and everywhere, inside every cell and along every hallway they are stained with blood. The horrificness of where I am is beginning to impact my senses. I am beginning to spin as panic and dread rise up from the pit of my stomach. I begin looking for a way out, my mind races along corridors until I see what is a nurses, or guard station. 

There are three people sitting here at the station talking amongst themselves when I step up. One of them is a large, robust woman of mixed ethnic descent. She turns toward me along with one of the males, also of ethnic descent ( Cuban?, one of the Islands? I am not sure ) who asks which cell I am trying to find. Implying I am here visiting someone. As though this is a place that would allow visitors. They all can see that I am noticeably impacted by the state of this place. I try to keep my head, knowing I have to come up with a number. I close my eyes, cover them with my hands and see the number clearly, “5706” I say. The large woman stands from her chair, walks me around a few corners, then commands me to stay where I am standing while she walks into a gaming area. The room dividing screen in front of me is one I can see through, I look into a full casino style set-up. 

Moments later, the large woman returns from the area with a beverage for me, a small 5 oz plastic cup filled with amber fluid. I seem to know better than to drink it, but thank her, and place the cup to my mouth as though taking a sip. She is saying she does not think I am here to find one of the men in the cells but rather one of the dealers. The number I gave – 5706 – seems to have an actual association with someone in the gaming area. She begins walking me again, but all of this is a facade, the people behind all of this are waiting for me to drink and become drugged. I feel the horrible sensation of disappearing further and for good in this caged hell hole. I must not drink. I have to keep my senses and get out of here. I can only do this this if I keep my full cognitive senses. It is the last thought I am having as I wake back into physical space.

As I lay here embedding, the first scene I see is from earlier in the night. 

My mom, looking as young and gorgeous as she always is, even at her advanced age is coming on to an attractive, much younger, dark skinned dark hair man. She has him at a disadvantage up against a wall. I am energetically trying to push her away from him. I will note, this only seems important because my mom was a blackjack dealer in Las Vegas back in the day. I don’t think it was actually my mom coming onto that man, rather her appearance was being used to symbolize the important/relative concepts of an older woman who is a dealer.

This appears to have been an attempted retrieval/rescue of the young man who contacted me in the Void. As I approached him, he did feel like someone I knew, though I did not recognize him. I cannot say whether this is a real life situation I entered or a mind construct.

Either way, it was alarmingly just as real.

November 3, 2023

On the verge of wake and sleep, email from Erich,
feline-human hybrid contact

I felt I was sleeping lightly, on the verge of wake and sleep through night and morning. 

I found myself naturally waking as the sun was rising, it felt nice to lay here in the coolness of the room, looking out the open window as the sun came up. The time is 6:45am. I didn’t even realize I had fallen back off to sleep. It still felt to me that I was in my bed, in my room, feeling the night become day. My eyes were already fully open and had been for some time ( without me realizing ) when it felt to me that it was time to get up. Two hours had somehow gone by. A data scan showed that I had been in communication with Erich. I was waiting for an email from him, trying to see into the possibilities for this coming week, what his answer would be when I got the email. I could read only what is perhaps only a portion of one word before opening it, the word is “Some”. I think to myself he is going to tell me that someone is already occupying the yoga room.

When I open the email it is into this large colorful purple-blue-pink display.. there are ads flashing everywhere and an option button to view without ads. I push it, the ads go away and to my incredible surprise there are two full paragraphs of text wherein Erich is sharing with me “some information he has come across on extraterrestrials.” My conscious mind is in a mild state of incredulity that Erich would broach such a subject with me. I begin communicating in a more LIVE exchange with him through telepathy. I am saying to him that it is mostly the hybrids in which I am interested, and even more specifically the feline-human hybrids. Our exchange is leading into a scene, into more of a contact experience when, from the bed I am feeling it is time to get up. I realize I did go further into the experience than just this but this is all I am still seeing of it.

November 2, 2023

A night in the lower realm, kill room

I had the craziest dreams all night. ( all night! ).

Categorically, they were just lower spectrum and energy experiences. If I went down there to make rescues, I may have gotten lost. There are just two dreams of the mix of approximately four dreams that I will log. They are the two that have stayed the most to the front.

In the first : It is night, a male who works at the same company as I, asks me if I will fly to another city with him ( note: in the dream I know the city, it may have been Denver or Las Vegas, I just can no longer say for sure ). There is something there, an item he is going to retrieve. I am not sure why he has asked for or needs help with this. I know he asked another female prior to me that didn’t work out. It is someone he knows and works more closely with. While the two of us do not even really know one another. But I say yes I will fly with him. It is supposed to be an in-and-out, fly there, retrieve the item and fly right back the same night. However, this is not how it turns out. We go there, the man -who is being portrayed here by an actor I am familiar with but do not know his name, middle-aged, blonde, semi-attractive ( others do find him attractive )—does immediately retrieve the package, which I am seeing as 2” thick slices of ice, and then later watermelon, both the size and shape of the the clear 2 gallon sized ziplocks that hold them. We do not make it far with these before being intercepted by two others, a man and woman, played by Kerry Cassidy and John Goodman, who are going to kill us over whatever all of this about. 

This whole scenario plays out in full, graphic linear detail. We are taken to a “kill” apartment, where we are not the only ones about to be killed. It is also not the first time my subconscious is casting John Goodman as a sick, evil character who performs this kind of act. The man I am traveling with does not make it into the scene very far. He is sat down in a room on a sofa, and along with 3 others popped off before I can even really learn why. Like the others, a gun is put his forehead and the tigger pulled. I am not in this room, I am in the larger area of the apartment with Kerry but I know I am next. I don’t even know what I have done, what they think I have done. I have surrendered to the facts of the situation but I am still trying to save my own life. I am having a close, heartfelt talk with Kerry. I am not sure why I am saying it, or why these visuals are presenting but we are dressed alike, in a black shirt topped with with a black and white checkerboard patterned flannel that is open in front and near the same color blue jeans ( ie: genes ). I am bringing this to her attention, along with our initials both being “K.C.” and asking “have you never noticed?”, referencing the high level of similarity between us. I am appealing to her sense of us being family. I can feel her energy, feel it begin to slightly shift, I begin to use this further to my advantage.

While all this is playing out it comes to my attention that there is a large group of others in the collective aura of all this, others who are going to get caught in this web and be killed also. I go out to them, how exactly I am not sure but realizing and pointing out that there are so many more of us than just the two of them. At first they are not sure about this but I point out that we can overcome and overtake them. I rally up their and energy and courage until we are united, and certain in our focus and ability. They are not yet in the “kill” apartment and I am so I sign on to be the distraction maker while the others do what they can to shift the web of potentials and the timeline so that they never end up in this place. We are going to bind the female played by Kerry and kill the male played by John Goodman. Or, to the latter, this is what I had thought. 

When he comes toward me to take me to the kill room, while trying to save my life the subject of sex is broached. There is a whole sordid scene regarding his member, about it being monstrous. I see three objects on a silver medical tray, one of them being the phallus itself, which looks as though it belongs to a whole other species, be it one I have certainly never seen before. The general shape of the thing is similar but there are additional shapes to it and pastel pink, green and blue hues. Very different, very different than anything I have ever seen before. What I see on the tray is assembled and then attached to the man as though it is some kind of extra appendage and a sex scene plays out. Leading into it, the character played by John is sitting on a chair, surprised I would agree to such a thing. “Why would I not” I say, going into detail about why I would and being as convincing as I can. Which is working, he lets me approach and straddle him.

I keep clothing in the way, and space between our sexual organs. I am fortunate he is content with everything else I am giving him, and saying.., though when a kiss comes up it is all I can do to hold my stomach. I have to shift my whole attention, choose to explore it from the inside out like a researcher. A part of me is beginning to touch a conscious state through portions of this, wherein I am seeing what is happening from the perspective of an outside ( ET ) party. In this perspective I am attempting to understand ( -more than it is possible for me to say. ). Meanwhile, the rest of the large group of others have found and bound Kerry, the bulk of their attention is on her and not the man, even though they are only going to keep her bound. I am beginning to get frustrated, I cannot continue what I am indefinitely. I need them to come take care of ( ie: kill ) this man. 

In my frustration, knowing there is a time limit here, things begin getting comical. While in our current position, in the midst of our fake passion/sex I begin periodically banging the back of this man’s head to the wall. It certainly is not going to be enough to kill him. I need them to bring the gun and shoot him. If he discovers me doing this ( he seems lost in the energy of the so called moment ) it is all over. It gets very confusing from here.

We do accomplish our task, though I do not know the details of what this came to entail. I do not know if the John Goodman character was actually ever killed. I just know our task is done. It is mad as the whole group of us now move to escape this web ( matrix, structure, apartment ). Some of us are not making it, some of us are. I make it to a grey colored hallway where there are 3 silver elevator doors. I stand at the door on the right awaiting a group of 5 or 6 others, an undercover group who came to help who I seem to be a part of. When the doors open and they arrive, in the heat of everything they all get into the middle one without me. I hop over to it just in time to catch the doors by my fingertips, using all my strength to pry them back open. 

After succeeding, I am standing here looking at them questionably. They were just going to leave me on my own ( why? ). I enter the elevator, the doors close and I find myself knowing it is going up to the 4th floor. I am not happy with the group, or what just happened. It is madness outside the elevator. I am alert to it all. Those people, more than a hundred of them still trying to get away. In this uncertain but relieved ( for myself ) energy — I wake. 

It is still very early in the morning. The sun has not yet risen, it is maybe 5am. A few minutes go by before I realize I am out of the experience and safe.

“Well that was a crazy dream” I flatly say aloud to anyone listening.

What the heck ?!@#$%!

***

I somehow fall back off without any difficulty.

I find myself in Sandy’s bedroom, there is a water leak, it is coming from my ceramic water cooler that is sitting stop her dresser. In an impossible moment I scream out “I don’t know what to do!!!!” I can’t figure out how to make the water or flooding of the carpet stop. Then >> 

I am outside, on the street, sitting on the floorboard half inside the back passenger side door of a white family camper van, scooping water out from beneath the seat. There are other people inside the van, which has three rows of seats and a back end. As I am first sitting here scooping the water I notice it is nighttime, there are street lights and people passing by. Some of them are “punksters”, low frequency energy, tough, one of them is giving me a dirty look as he walks by with a friend. I now notice the person in the second row of seats on my same passenger side.

He is a young man, he’s using a water spray element that comes up from where the seatbelt would be. I bring to his attention all this water back here that I am scooping up from under the third row of seats. I am not sure if he sees the correlation. There is a connection here in this experience with my Dad which I am tangibly detecting and feeling, possibly the whole family lineage.

The vehicle is in motion now and I see through the front window, the driver is seriously tailgating the car in front of him. I make a comment about the last time I drove this van myself—I did the same. The current driver, like the people walking by is also a punk. We are driving up to a locked chain link fence. There are 3 young males out front all armed with automatic rifles. They are signaling for us to stop, then I hear one of them say “put up your hands.” It takes me a minute to realize he may be speaking to me. I am sitting center in the second row of seat and say “oh! me?” and promptly put up my hands. The young man says “okay” to the others, signaling them to open the gate and waving us in as….for the second time — I wake.

Just a weird, weird night. All around.

One dream after the next.

November 1, 2023

Mind probed for data on Enki, controlled areas of the Middle East

Woke at 8am, no wake-back-to-bed. I do not feel fully rested,
my energy feels moderately depressed.

There are two areas of my dreaming still with me, one is about Enki and the other has to do with Turkey and the whole Mesopotamia / Middle East area in general. In the former, a group of 4 of us are gathered in a room. It feels like a group of remote viewers. We are being questioned about what we know of Enki. The data I have collected on this being is different from what the others have collected. I put forward that I see him as a blue skinned being. I mention aquatic features that suit him to ocean life, but also the form that presents when data on Enki/Enlil et al transmits through the crystal *which is very different indeed. I say that I am putting forward these things, but really it is more like my mind is scanned, or perpetrated for this data. The scene with the 4 of us is likely just for show, Ie: the way I am semi-interpreting the more fundamental mind probing. 

Hours later, closer to morning I am in the presence of someone I cannot see, but can very much feel; it is as though I am inside a far larger energy. I am very clear, the data presenting is very clear but the feeling, as it always does, involves a floating and slow motion-like sensation. My point of view is hovering above something like the idea of an overhead projector. Discrete data is presenting on multiple transparencies, roughly four of them to be more exact, all of which I see down through, to a map they are now projected upon. It is a map of the Middle East and what I see are the areas each of the independent territories control. In particular my attention is keying in on a narrows, or straight that is manned on either side by the Turkish. Geographically this is located outside the borders of Turkey, visually south-west of it *as the map is presenting to me within this experience. The men are represented by little shapes that are water-blue in color. It makes me feel the narrows, or straight is a waterway. Though this is not necessarily accurate.

There is much more to this whole experience, both aspects of it — this is what I have retained.

I am left with no idea at all as to why I have just been shown this.