Prologue
Here we find ourself already at May.. The months are getting more intense, and more exciting in terms of the data coming through and experiences being had. Gold — the concept of “golden” is present throughout the entire month, along with the color RED and, more specifically, trying to get red colored pants onto myself. There are multiple incidences of and references to underground labyrinths. Concepts coming through as COLORS are specifically notable this month.
I began hearing more insistently the cue to return to more formal meditation practice—to deepen and more seriously hone in on practice in general. I have been wanting to lengthen my floor sitting practice for some time so in the spirit of moving with the flow relative to the guidance coming through I have taken this opportunity to order this cushion and mat from a company called Moonleap to help me accomplish just this. Incredible design -as I am typing these words I am waiting for it to arrive. I will report my experience with it in the comments.
Along this same vein, the really big NEW thing that has happened this month is that I have begun a formal practice specifically focused into the opening of my vocal channel. It can be seen through my dreamtime experiences how the inner and outer-realm beings are working with me on this endeavor. I will admit, this is exciting and encouraging for me to see.
In the night, I have again begun to experience vibratory phenomena, a sometimes quite overt pulsing sensation in the body. It is principally in the root chakra but has also extended to the soles of my feet. There are many notations of this in my logs beginning mid-month. I will emphasize the overt nature of this phenomena and note that not even thinking, speaking, or moving my body will cause it to cease. It is reaching all the way through to the threshold of physical space. It is also rapidly changing from a pulse pattern to a strong, steading spinning that is already rapidly spilling over into the month of June >> ( for those interested ) my daily log.
….
Dream Titles
- Living in tents, clandestine meeting
- Test: I am put in an underground labyrinth with people who are “different”
- Magical being, golden hued whale, wiccans, groups of four
- Golden genes, Jones Road, guidance with my iMovie program
- OBE: Incredible! -Important, Longstanding Questions Answered
- Abduction- a young girl goes missing and I enter the search
- Contact with Carla Rueckert, Indian bazaar ( book shops )
- Underground military lab, splicing human DNA with violent sea creatures
- Channeling practice, challenging entities, greetings from the dark
- A leap from the void into bed with Shirley MacLaine
- More void jumping, pain in my abdomen, grey tiger-striped house cat
- Captured, confined and relocated to another planet
- Increasingly the questions I ask are answered through the night
- Male lion being exuding electric blue light, channeling preparations and a test
- Extreme convergence, sustained visceral sensations, moments leading into my deaths
- Root chakra, razor thin shifts, Egyptian male, close contact, In bed with Erich and Rona
- A message to slow down and pay attention, set up by the system
- An evening in my higher mind ( or possibly the Akash ); oneness, non-dualism
- Failure to embed, Erich is coming around a lot
- House train reality show, 1970s party, vibrating feet
- Catastrophic event, Japan – crystal data ( Derrick ) large blue crystals
- A change in my dreaming, connections, a girl child that is left to me
- Channeling : A complete energy balancing exercise, energy braiding; power of three
forrest and elven energy-dynamic - A symbol for the high self: lion with rainbow wings – golden pharaoh with lapis eyes,
shocking, life shattering event - Inner realm activity, lots of help processing and “getting ready”
- Inside a prolonged state of commencement for a graduation ceremony to begin
- Plane trip, cargo hold, airport, the sweetest, kindest energy
- The choosing of, and preparing for my latter stage life partner
- School, work, tasks that are piling up
- Real data: the military observation of a family, time travel, death and reunion
- A sense of adventure, camaraderie and comedic fun with my cluster-group
….
May 31, 2024
A sense of adventure, camaraderie and comedic fun with my cluster-group
My log will be brief today. After 2 hours of trying, I fall asleep around 12:30am. Two sleep cycles later, at 4am I woke again. Interestingly, ( interesting because it has never happened before ), I could not get back sleep. I lay here for 2 hours more, comforting myself in the thought “it is what it is”, and “okay we will just rest” — knowing that soon enough I would fall off. Which I did, for two more sleep cycles before my alarm would wake me for an appointment I have to get to later morning. All this just to say, it has been an off night in the sleep department. When I woke at 4am I had been in a series of dreams- a sense of adventure, camaraderie and comedic fun with who I call “my cluster”. They are 4-5 individuals who I feel I must have incarnated with. As far as I know, I am the only one of incarnated in the Earth-life at present, the rest are in my consciousness field. I periodically find myself in adventures with them. Tonight it is almost like we are reminiscing of our adventures, an entire history together of one “great idea” ( lol ) after another and of us getting in each other’s way. I popped up in so many places I cannot recall them all but I remember a library, art, restaurants, bathrooms, walking out in the city at night.
I remember us seeing a young black woman going into a fast food restaurant with a gun. We all look at each other and know we have to go in to do what we can. A few of us end up siding/empathizing with the woman instead of talking her down, which I finally come in to do. The whole thing is very comedic, downright hilarious. I remember falling through bathrooms into other bathrooms, where I would be found to go out on yet another adventure. The highlight moment happens when the group of us are all out walking around at night, we are having a discussion about “cause and effect”. None of the others are buying that idea, but I do and I prove it by grabbing one of the males, who one started this debate. I have him by the arm from behind, he swings around toward and I kiss him smack on the lips. My point being, the kiss is what is now making his heart rush and his limbs tremble. No more words are said.
Cause and effect — a practical application : proved.
An interesting thing is the lip lock in itself. Our lips did not feel like those of a human. I was trying to look further into this when I woke.
May 30, 2024
Real data: the military observation of a family, time travel, death and reunion
The context in this experience is hard for me to grasp, perhaps due to the way it was severed. I feel as though I am in a massive energy vortex without any sense of ground. I am seeing in mostly black and white, which I feel is in part a reference to the timeframe and in part symbolic of being given what I call ‘real data’. I am scanning for any detail I can see >>
There is a family— a young husband and wife in their early 30s, a son ( 9 ) and daughter ( 6 ). They are a handsome looking family. It is possible I am at times merged in the consciousness field of the wife. The military has them, and is observing them. In one of the first moments I can still see, I am standing in a large room with a man who in appearance resembles Ed Asner *which I feel is data referencing NEWS and again real data. High up on one of the walls is a window, a group of men, all older white males are looking down at us, observing our activity. The man in the room with me has reached a point where he is going to help me with something, help me do something without being seen. He tells me to get my purse and pretend to be going through it. My conscious mind remembers there seeming to be a choice of approximately four purses to choose from and this confusing me for a moment. A light bit of color is beginning to bleed through what is still mostly black and white. A specific taupe colored purse is chosen. I set it on a table and begin rifling through it while Ed moves off in the far distance where I can see him talking to my son. I can see into an area where a large model aircraft my son has built ( and tried to fly ) has gotten stuck atop a real aircraft being designed and constructed. A handsome, well built plain clothes soldier comes into that room and retrieves the model for him, however it is lightly damaged in the process of bringing it down. I encouragingly say to the boy “I bet you can fix that.”
My attention is shifting from point to point- point to point.
I am now with the boy in a moment when he is saying he has a rash on his stomach. I ask him to show me. He lifts his shirt and points to where there is not so much a rash as a single puncture mark that is healing over with a scab. I think he is referring to it as a rash because it may itch. The scab has been scratched half off and the boy’s inclination is to scratch it all the way off. I tell him not to, while I lay him down and reach for a bandaid, explaining the purpose of the scab and saying it will fall off on its own when it is ready. Note: this mark on the boy is just to the left of the level of the diaphragm. I will note that I, myself, IRL discovered such a mark on my own body weeks ago. I discovered it at night when the area began to itch—the itch is an internal itch and lightly scratching the area feels highly satisfying. Even though I did scratch off my own scab and the mark itself is not longer there, I can still feel the internal sensation of it.
Through this activity my attention is shifting again—
Now I am in a really darkened attic-style room, I feel I may be viewing what I am now from the void. Everything now is deep black and white- shadow, mostly, and a bit of light. I am with the husband, and he is with his daughter, who is very well behaved and playing. She tells her dad that she wants a “happy meal”. He has a device in his hands that to me looks like some kind of wrist watch *I think this is in reference to it being a time travel device. He tells his the little girl that if she does that they won’t have enough ( time? energy? ) to see the time change *the event they are actually here for. Another suggestion is offered to the little girl, what might seem a ( virtual ) reality game on a device that lets her ride waves. She is doing this now, I can see her going up and down and is perfectly happy in the waves. While this goes on I begin to hear keys being played on a piano. I turn to see there is a piano in the room behind me, a very old piano, the ivory keys of which are turning brownish. There is the idea of cobwebs in each of the corners. I am now in conversation with the husband, who also hears the keys being played. We stand here, excited at first at the anomaly, watching the keys, one by one be pressed down by an invisible something.—but when a full, harrowing sounding song begins to be played my intrigue begins turning toward fear; when this happens, the music stops and the piano goes back to being played one note at a time. I think this little episode has been just to get my attention and snap me out of my reverie. For I now have the little girl in my arms and am handing her over to a woman who is sitting on the sofa.
The visual appearance of this woman matches that which I felt myself as in the beginning of this experience. A handsome woman in her early 30s, caucasian, with brown shoulder length hair that is casually fixed. The details that have just played out seem to indicate that the husband, wife and children are not all in the same timeframe. For instance here it would seem the wife is now with the dearly departed, and that the husband and daughter have time traveled back to this moment. Is this possibly due to the son’s future involvement with the military? The well built soldier who gets the model plane down for the boy does resemble a grown up version of him. “How and why does his mother die?” I am asking. In any event, as I now hand the daughter over, into the arms of her mother it might seem the girl is in a sense sleeping.
The girl does detect the presence of her mother, and her heart is reaching out for her, but when she momentarily alerts to a greater degree she pulls back from what is happening. The mother, as any mother simply emotes her love out to the child as she opens her arms and receives her. The child is now as before, deeper into what seems a sleep state, enjoying the contact with her mother. This is very real, though, it really happening, the child is just experiencing it as though in a dream. As I remove my hands from between them and fully let go, my own contact with the experience begins to be severed. I am shifting fast back toward physical space. The brainwaves are passing through beta. I feel like I am in a huge energy vortex untethered from my own center. For a moment I feel nauseous. I lean inward rather than outward to assist with this, and begin looking again through what has just happened. What I have written are just a few moments from within a much larger experience.
May 29, 2024
School, work, tasks that are piling up
As I am waking, the night’s activity is compressing down into a singular collage.
Multiple environments, a school / classrooms, work / music store, and in-between areas are all fast becoming one. Tasks are coming at me from each and the tasks are beginning to build.
The school / classrooms are mostly in the background now, the idea of them resting securely as the foundation for the whole experience ( only without even the slightest bit of detail ). In the end I see myself coming down a ladder from the sky with a young girl who has long, straight brown hair- she is in her nightgown. One of the tasks I am to do is for her, I am conceptualizing this task as making a pizza, some kind of ‘pie’. I am teaching her the necessity of a ‘tightly woven crust’ and telling her we will skip ethics class to make time for this. My conscious mind finds it humorous that an ethics class was chosen to be skipped to make room for this task.
The largest segment of the night that I can still delineate from all the rest is the area where I am working in a music store. The store is huge and at the moment is packed with people. I am at one of the only two registers that are open and the lines of people ready to check out are extremely long. Something happens at my register, when a man who I had just rung up sees he has forgotten to bring his wallet. I recognize this man, Dr. Berg ( from youtube ). I tell him not to worry, I will hold his items here until he can return with his wallet. Only now I need a manager to cancel my sale and re-key my register. It is the longest time and no-one is coming.
My line keeps getting longer and longer -but interestingly no-one seems to be getting impatient. One might think they do not even realize the line is stalled. I leave my station and walk over to the other register where I tell someone I need a re-key of my register. The information is noted and I walk back to my register, where I again wait for the longest time while no-one comes. Eventually more registers begin to open and people begin filing from my line over to them, while I myself head out into the store, at first with the idea to find the manager.
The idea of the music store is expanding into the idea of a large warehouse-style grocery store. I look at some of the items in a refrigerator section and pick up something for my lunch. I am walking around with this when I finally spy the manager. A quite plain looking woman with blonde hair, wearing a dress. I see her standing in front of extremely tall, empty grey shelving racks. After telling her how long I have been waiting for my register to be re-keyed she tells me that it isn’t going to be. I ask her why, “am I being fired?” She tells me that yes, I am going to be, noting that it will not be right away but sometime in the next 1-2 weeks.
My frustration shifts down into relief, “why didn’t you just tell me that to begin with” I say. I would not have gotten angry and you could have saved me a lot of angst. As we continue this discussion, without me even asking she says the reason is because $1000 is missing. I know I myself have not taken this and do not hesitate to let her know that even if they fire me the real culprit will still be among their ranks. I open the front door to the place and step out into a mist.
May 28, 2024
The choosing of, and preparing for my latter stage life partner
This experience begins near the top of the night and extends all the way toward morning. I wish I could remember it all in clear detail, the subconscious mind is working with me and very much communicating matters of immediate importance. In the background, though only lightly in my awareness, my body is in vibration and making the revving pattern so common to my out of body experiences. The main theme of the evening seems to be that of choosing a partner—the partner I contracted to have and as a young girl chose / leaned toward having post 60 years of age.
As the experience begins, the direct environments I am navigating my way through are very clear to me, but now after so many hours and long series of additional scenes the concepts have amalgamated into what would seem a darkened attic of some kind that is emanating a lovely golden light. I am going through an array of potential partner candidates until a familiar face arrives. I do not know this directly in the experience but this same man appeared weeks back in an experience. ( I will have to go back and find that log to read the details surrounding him ). Aside from what this man looks like, the only other thing I recall in my interview of him is when he tells me that sex is not something that has ever ruled his life, it is something he can take or leave. I am impressed. This is actually quite important to me ( as a person who by choice is 20+ plus years celibate ). I feel myself growing closer to him as I say “well that is not something you hear everyday.” I can feel myself leaning into and choosing him.
As this is happening, energetically the news is reaching John ( who I call my “ex” ). He is not happy at any of this as he arrives in an interestingly modeled taupe brown colored truck, puling up and parking outside my dad’s house, closer to in front of the Atkin’s than his own. I am already in another vehicle that is already in the process of pulling out but my energy is reaching out to him. I of course want to make myself available to communicate. And this does happen, but it leads into a winding and weaving of what I feel is previous life activity. A neighborhood friend, Lana, comes into the equation and seems to drive a wedge between John and I by making moves on him herself. The three of us morph into three distinct other personalities and appearances >>
We are in a scene where similar activity is occurring. In this scene we are all much younger than we are now. We seem to be in a vehicle, a large van. I am point consciousness observing while the young man and young woman are physically here. The young man, though he does love me, in a moment of weakness has chosen to sleep with this other girl. ( he has made a choice that is now leading away from me ). It is all very poetic. He is poetic in his feelings for her ( sex will do this most notably with the young ) but he is torn in his choice to sleep with her and what it is now leading to. I do not feel the girl is as poetic in her own feeling for him. In fact with her it seems more an amusement. It is possibly something she has done to get in his way. He is full of emotion as he gets into his car and drives off. I am standing in the street and am trying to send encouragement out to him in his feelings, and assurances toward his choice. I feel no animosity within me for not being chosen, only great inspiration for him in the way he is now going.
There is so much more to all of this than what I have written, though it all has to do with the choosing of the contracted partner coming up on my horizon—and processing through the body what is necessary to open to this new relationship. Following this I see some of this processing in itself >>
In front of me there is a row of gated escalators- they are not so much gated as enclosed, there are incredibly tall, narrow, painted glass doors leading into them. They are painted in lovely swirling shades of soft purple, creams and white. I choose the escalator that is I think the second from the right in my field of view. I open the door to see the escalator is very steep and goes up quite a ways *each of the escalators is as steep as this one and seem to go up to an exact height. There are two girls on the escalator in front of me. When one of them turns around, it might seem I am heading up at a faster rate than they, because she then urges the girl in front of her to begin actually walking the steps beneath us that are already moving us upward. When we get to the top the girls have stopped just off the escalator and in the feeling of there being nowhere to put my feet I feel this huge feeling of feint. I urge them to step forward so I can get onto level ground. Once I do, I see I have arrived in a darkened movie theatre.
People are taking their seats. I do not do so myself, I feel bent on where I am going.
I walk through the theatre and into a mall of shops where I begin looking for a pair of red pants to put on me *note: this is a highly repeating theme as of late.
I walk into a nice shop until I see a half mannequin displaying a pair of silky slacks that are red-orange, but closer to the latter than the former. I put them on and walk around the store looking for a more precise shade of red. I come across the owner of the store who is sitting with another female employee. I tell them I am looking for red pants and say I do not see any in this store. I ask if they know what might be available in the other shops on this floor. The owner is not very helpful, she will not assist me beyond her own establishment. I say “I see” and tell her I will put back the pair of pants I now have on before head out looking. I am beginning to wake. I can see I am having a challenge finding the area where I first found this pant. It would seem I am meant to wear them / this color for a while longer before achieving the red.
May 27, 2024
Plane trip, cargo hold, airport, the sweetest, kindest energy
This dream sequence is long, continuing through multiple sleep cycles, **note:
there is more missing from this log than what is in it.
I am on a plane. I am sitting in an aisle seat next to the kindest woman. I recognize her from real life, Earth life, ( Anita Mororjani ), she is someone who is even more advanced in age than myself and sitting next to her in the window seat is her mother. We do communicate throughout this experience but even more fundamentally to this I feel her energy. She has just the sweetest, kindest energy. So sweet, so kind that I almost can’t believe such an energy actually exists. I am traveling on a trip that will take me to multiple locations, one of which is to see Robyn. My current destination requires 3 separate stops. The first two are short, but the third is quite lengthy and spans the whole evening into the early morning. When we get to this juncture everyone de-boards while I myself go into the cargo hold where all my things are being stored.
I am here for a long time before I am discovered by stewardesses who come in to get the plane ready for its next flight. They tell me I cannot be here, no-one realized I was. It is a pleasant exchange through which I apologize and explain how lengthy the stop is for me and I thought I would just rest here until the plane was ready to move on. They take me into the airport and tell me I should stay until it is ready. I ask if it is okay to sleep out here and they tell me the word ‘sleep’ is not really used. “Ohh, okay, I will just ‘rest’ then” I say. Throughout all of this experience there are interpenetrating fields of activity that are so deep, so pleasant and complex I do not really retain them. I am just aware of this happening due to the highly pleasant sensation of them *which very much does stay with me throughout the whole event.
The experience does come to a point at which we land and I venture to one of my destinations. It is a neighborhood, someone’s house in a neighborhood- an elderly lady. We have walked from here up the street to where there is a household in which another elderly lady who is perhaps in her 70s cooks meals and side dishes for the women in the area who either can’t cook, can’t get to the cooking due to work and/or are either too old to want to all the time. The woman I am with is one such person who regularly makes use of her service. We are standing at the front of the house where the foods are set up and she has a deep friend pice of chicken in her hands. She says “I should put this back”, and ogling it I say “no we should definitely try it” as we all walk out the door chicken in hand. Note: I have an almost unreal draw to the chicken.
There are two women standing outside making gossip about how the woman who cooks has charged for 5 days instead of the two that the woman I am with actually came for this week. I don’t believe them and just walk by, tasting a small piece of the perfectly cooked fried chicken. When I do this my conscious mind notices that it is not even being discerning of whether the chicken is organic or not. It is not and I am just eating it anyway. It is something I would never do in real space. I struggle with the dichotomy of this for a moment while we all begin walking up the street again. It is well into dusk as we round the corner to our right.
Behind me I see the 3rd and 4th of us catching up.
As they come closer and into clearer view they begin to appear as a young girl and a teen. There is something not quite right with the teen girl. I feel a kind of malicious intent begin to unfold as I shift from the scene back into my bed -wondering at the change in characters.
May 26, 2024
Inside a prolonged state of commencement for a graduation ceremony to begin
A graduation ceremony is in a prolonged state of commencement. It seems like it is going on forever. I am in a school building and at first am just standing outside the door of the auditorium in which the ceremony will take place. Sometimes the doors open and I can see inside. I say to someone “not many people have arrived yet, have they?” It is like I am being held outside in wait by the idea that ceremony has not yet started. There are various odd interactions with others ( that continually keep things moving ) while I stand here.
A woman comes out of the auditorium at the same that I am going to use the bathroom -which is also why she herself has come out. She slides into the door I am reaching for almost a sliver of a moment before I offer her the room first. She acknowledges my hospitality a moment before she disappears into it. I think at one point I project myself into the auditorium, with my gaze into the rows of seats, seeing them begin to fill and wonder why I cannot come in yet myself. At a certain point I begin walking the hallways, repeatedly up and down sets of steps in a pattern- round and round. There are occasional other odd interactions with others along the way.
I recall the idea of my pants coming off and me putting them back on while at the same time as I walking down a set of steps. There is the idea of being on my menstrual cycle. I seem to be speaking with someone in my peripheral vision -a male person who I seem to know. Sometime later, while inside a very small room that I may have stepped into by mistake, another male person enters. He says something to me but I can no longer remember what he says, although it involves the name of another person. He seems a nice enough sort, quite friendly in his energy, actually, but I do not like the feeling of being inside such a small space with another person, I very quickly excuse myself and leave. This whole while, the only thing on my mind is the graduation ceremony and wondering why it is taking so long to begin.
The scene shifts from the school building to a casino… ( I believe I am processing some things still held in my chakras which need resolution before the graduation can take place )… Even though the scenes have shifted the sole focus is still the impending graduation. Only now I have the added task of actually having to get there. I ask a casino employee where there room is that it will be held. This casino is huge. Two females at the front bar try to direction me but I explain I will need more assistance than this. They ask me if I had ever been to the casino before. I tell them actually, just prior I had been outside and entered the staging area for the ceremony that way. My Mom and Dad were there and Mom showed me where they were all seated. But I explain I have never actually gone through the casino to get to that area.
One of the girls walks ahead of me and begin directing me back. During the walk, at a certain point I seem also to be having a conversation with another female about my own time working in the casinos. I point out that in my day they were filled with smoke, it was much harder a situation to work. We spoke of shifts, my favorite shift ( graveyard ) and that it was my favorite because there were less people. The conversation shifts to tips, she asks how I could make enough. I explain that I had to work hard the first two hours, before the majority of people left and was always able to leave with at least a bill ( casino talk for $100 ) *and this was back in the 90s when a hundred dollars got a person a lot further; this is all it took to make me happy. We talked, joked and laughed about always changing shifts just to switch things up and keep from getting too bored.
This is a very long process ( this walk ), during which the female guiding me sometimes begin walking faster than I can keep up with. Fortunately, each time I shout after her she slows down or returns to my side. The last time I recall doing this I had tried to use my phone to call Mom, but I had to abandon that idea to call after the my guide. Everything dissolves after here.
I recall only the long, seemingly endless hallways and sets of steps I am still going up and down to get myself to what seems my own graduation ceremony.
May 25, 2024
Inner realm activity, lots of help processing and “getting ready”
Last night is chock full of inner-realm type activity.
[Inner-realm activity is full of inner-realm beings, those between lives at the moment who often like to help out with what we in body are experiencing]
I am moving rapidly between activities as well as from one set of experiences to another.
I have a high level of presence throughout and retain the awareness of this until around 3am, when it begins to be so much that I let it all go. I recall pulling into the rear portion of a tandem parking space but then being pushed by the scene into the front of it ( and possibly further into the activity it connects to ). I notice this happen and do not like it. I do not want someone pulling in behind me and blocking me in. So I try to reverse my car into the rear of the space again, only to be pushed forward again. Inside the area it connects to is a very friendly two people standing side-by-side, a male and female. They tell me they like to be of help, and there is a great deal they do begin to help me through but my memory trails off here.
In the morning I am in two areas at once, inside a set of scenes and outside it speaking with a female someone about skirt lengths. A topic also playing out within the scene itself.
In the conversation outside the scene, I am specifically mentioning the mini skirt, and more specifically the jean ( ie: gene ) mini skirt and the only body type that I feel can wear it well. I am noting this be a female who is on the short side herself, less than 5’4″ and of a fit, athletic build. The female I am speaking with is tall and very beautiful, very elegant. She is showing great interest in what I am saying. The environment around us is much the same as her and reminds me of an upscale somewhat empty department store; it is bright, spacious, pleasant. Aside from this I see mostly colors- whites, pinks, peaches and gold.
Down in the scene I am a caregiver to an elderly gentleman, there are multiple timeframes playing out concurrently, the 1800s and modern day time; in the former it appears I may be this man’s daughter. At times I am more aware of the modern day time frame, at times more aware being back in time. In the more present time I am helping this man on with his socks, he is of an ethnicity that right on the edge of my exact knowing ( Cuban? Spanish? Mexican? ). The idea of my own dad is at times bleeding through, which is why in the older time frame I feel I am his daughter. The socks I am putting on him have large holes in them, he is perfectly alright with this and is saying “wear them until bare”, something like this. I am not good with this myself, though, and find one brand new pair of clean white socks. I am dressing him proper. He fixes up real nice. He has a male helper as well, who arrives late in the set of scenes when I am shifting more toward the 1800s and a hotel room we have just entered. Some of the other guests have noticed my clothing, the length of my skirt which does not come exact to the floor or trail behind me to degree that is most proper in the situation of being out in a hotel. I mostly ignore them, but making note of the open door, once I have my father settled I return to the door to close it on the couple who ogling in.
The male helper has arrived, he is now kneeling down beside my father and oddly, inappropriately, repeatedly calling him dad. He is a caring young man, and does deeply care for my father, he is sad he is in such a way and growing closer to his passing. He is here to help him bathe. This is a hotel where there are showers, healing water therapies. I find myself at the threshold of one of them and find cause to step inside it for something -something that I cannot see, this information is being held from me. When I step out I am concerned for something I may have gotten on my shoes. I remove one of them, turn it over and investigate the sole. It seems to be morphing in its shape and appearance. Maybe like I am seeing it really close up as in under a microscope. I get two really thin dots of something reddish on my right forefinger and am trying to discern what this is. My conscious mind feels a shock when it associates them with bed bugs. I look further into the crevices of the sole to see what looks like a snail -with the idea of the shell being greatly minimized. Before I wake from this I am discussing this find, again with someone outside the scene.
May 24, 2024
A symbol for the high self: lion with rainbow wings – golden pharaoh with lapis eyes,
shocking, life shattering event
It is 8 o’clock in the morning.
I have gotten up to use the bathroom but my body is in that comfortable state that tells me an experience is pending. The only thing I can see from the fields is that I have been speaking with an invisible someone, or more correctly they with me and I am typing what is said onto a piece of paper. My mind is stuck on one sentence in parenthesis noting that there are two video examples of what is written embedded in this PDF. There is writing both above and below this sentence but I cannot see what is written. My mind is fixed on this one sentence alone. I lay back down, feeling myself easily slip into the sensation of extreme body comfort as I go in.
On the way, I ask to receive, and/or confirm the symbol for my high self that I had asked for. Earlier I had been flashed the symbol of a lion with rainbow colored wings. I am asking if this is the symbol, and/or if not, what the symbol is. It is a process getting myself out of the way so that I do not interfere with the symbol actually being sent—but once I do, and before the coming experience I am flashed a very clear visual of a golden pharaoh in right profile with a lapis lazuli colored eye.
The next thing I know I am in an apartment that is darkly lit ( there are no lights used at night, or possibly even ample electricity? ) with my family.
I see two of my brothers, Derrick and Roger but the rest I see only in idea; there are 7 of us who live in this small, modestly furnished, mixed past and futuristic feeling rectangular shaped apartment, or pod. I am just now seeing that Roger has brought home another large bird, this one is even larger than the other and is black. The household now has a monkey and two large birds living in this small space with 7 people. I aim to have a talk with him about this after dinner. It is not good for the people and various animal species to be living together in such a confined space, and the animals need more freedom, this small space is especially not good for them.
After dinner I am clearing the table and find three white capsules of various sizes laying here aside a clear pill box that has stations within it for AM, NOON, PM and EVENING; there are additional white capsules inside. Roger is in his room, the sun is setting and both he and Derrick are preparing for sleep. Derrick thinks I am going to open his door and through a large window that looks into it he somewhat harshly motions me to not. I find this odd -and the feeling of his tone quite uncomfortable. I both acknowledge and ignore it as I open the door to Roger’s room.
I look into the small room at Roger and ask him if everyone had received their medication. He is with his new large black bird as he stands and walks to the table with me. I ask if he was the one sitting at this position at the table and point to the three capsules. He looks at them and begins asking me questions, like “does everyone have the same capsules in their pill boxes?” I reach into a side pocket in the table where these are put away after meals -this part is very clear, very real, more high quality and futuristic than I have been realizing. I show Roger and confirm that “yes, everyone does.” — but then I see another of the clear pill boxes on the table and that something that should not be there is inside. I pick it up while saying “unless someone throws something in there that doesn’t belong”, as I begin reaching inside to remove this.
The pill box is morphing into a different shape as I do this, what is inside is a rust colored half melted capsule. The walls of our home are melting now, too, until it seems we are standing at the table outside on the street. A man is approaching us with what feels is a young daughter behind him. He steps up to the table, looks into what we are doing while saying in dark, whispered tones “no no no no no no no.” This isn’t good, I begin to realize right away. The whole scene is beginning to shake. The man has grown in size and now appears to be standing up on the rooftop of our home *which from the outside is an olive green color trimmed in a deep blue. As everything shakes the sky begins to fracture and break apart as fire and lightning-like energy begin to form. I am trying to position myself aptly for what is happening when I see Derrick up on the roof as well. I do not want to give away my position and draw attention to myself but scream up at him sharply “Derrick! snap to!” He seems mesmerized as he steps into a small telephone-booth-shaped room, closes the door and disappears.
The room begins to shake like everything else, as though everything inside were being torn apart. I have no idea where Roger has gone. I try to find a place to run inside by envisioning my Dad’s house, my childhood home, when Immediately I find myself knowing that nowhere inside is safe right now. After this event it will be necessary and safe to go inside but not until this is over. I begin running up the street toward the next door neighbor’s, where I see the woman and her two grown daughters out front. The mom is reaching in to where they keep the chickens and instructing the daughters to each grab one before they all run for the car. I have now swept into their flow, into the consciousness field of the youngest of the two daughters that is only now beginning to realize they are grabbing the chickens to later eat. She is devastated and saying how they cannot EAT the chickens, they are dearly loved by them all, they are friends not food. She is sobbing as she holds one in her arms moving toward the car. These birds are much larger than regular chickens and far more well plumed and groomed. I can feel the softness and warmth of the animal against my chest as we walk, the warmth of the tears running down my face—everything everywhere is violently shaking as I phase from the experience back into my room.
My body is vibrating and energetically in shock.
What the heck?!@#$% All I can think to myself is “what. was. that?” I spend a moment acknowledging the emotion I experienced while moving through this, and then let it go. As I let it go, my body calms down. I have no idea what this was. Maybe a test?…to see how I am going to be able to handle channeled information, potentially about our future and our past? To see how well or not well I can process challenging information? I really don’t know.
This is where my mind is going first.
May 23, 2024
Channeling : A complete energy balancing exercise, energy braiding, power of three
forrest and elven energy-dynamic
I am being spoken to about the channeling. One of the things that is said while my observation point and energy is being brought into a scene is that an afternoon practice/nap is very helpful. This is highlighted as being ESPECIALLY helpful. Now I am taken into a dynamic of individuals, 2 males and 1 female. Their energies are being braided. Every one of them I experience fully through my own system as the braiding begins. The setting is in a humble but cozy cottage in the woods.
The second of the two males is just arriving.—both of them are elven.
The one who has just arrived is the taller and more masculine-in-energy of the two. He has a post ( a job function ) in the city -which is not as free as it is here in the forrest. There are rules, societal rules, it is more strict and even militant. This male, energetically at first seems at opposition to the other male who is far more neutral and submissive within himself. Although, it is he who first moves through the threshold of his own energy, balancing it in the making of an advance on the other, who is leaning on the earthen colored wall aside an open window when this moment occurs. He is closed down within himself, having just come from his post and knowing that to be seen in a moment such as this would be far from good. As the energy between the two becomes more palpable he does move through his own energy, balancing it by opening and receiving what has begun. The braiding is what fundamentally has begun >>
The two move off in this energy while my Inner instruction continues and my point of attention moves to a moment following when the men and now a young female of the same approximate age ( late 20s early 30s ) are outside in the forrest. The girl is fair with long, straight blonde hair. She is working at something, laundry?, and the two men are both feeling playful as they approach her, one of them tagging the other, all of them getting ready to enter a tag-chase kind of energy like children. The laugher and joy in it can be felt before this episode even fully begins.
The three have been friends from what might seem well before childhood in this life. Though it could be that their aging works differently, more slowly than I am familiar with and this is why it seems the friendship has been so lengthy.
In this trio, the biological female balances the coupling of the males. Her work is balanced by the play. In their play the braiding of this whole energy completes. I have experienced it all as a singularity, a singular event within my own self. I could feel how I had to work through my own ‘stuff’ within this experience, balancing my own views, feelings and tendencies in the process. Yes. Adjustments have been made, energetic adjustments, changes, restructuring, repatterning within my chakra/energetic system. I can feel this. We’ll see what it does, what kind of effect it has in me relative to the channeling. I will note that to this event there is an underlying vibratory basis it is occurring within. I am to varying extents alert to it throughout.
May 22, 2024
A change in my dreaming, connections, a girl child that is left to me
The way I am entering and exiting the dream state the past two nights is different -different enough to note. There is something going on with the pulsing energy sensation in my body. It is not only continuing each night it is as though some part of me is being reached within the event of it —and this part is what doing the major experiencing – but then the whole thing collapses down into what I know as ‘me’ and I am left struggling to retain what seem an infinite number of concepts. The more regular detail is not there because it has not exactly been ‘me’ doing the experiencing. There is just this quick moment at which it IS me that I can peer in but it is only enough time to cherry pick a dozen or so singular concepts ( minus the surrounding data ). Interesting. If it continues happening maybe I can get a better glimpse into what this more exactly is- at the moment I am wondering if I am moving in and out of what is more fundamentally a channeling ( than general dreaming ) state. It is possible. This is my cherry pick for today >>
Connections. Jonathan. Ragnar. I see Ragnar laying at the very edge of the bed. A ratio of 1/3 to 2/3. Ragnar is in the smaller ratio. The idea of a change of mind. When I come out of this experience it is in a way and to a point of a some kind of deeper element of myself in a full state of enjoyment at all this. It is as a full state of open awareness in an ocean of bliss. There is also what I myself might call a Memory of past ( life ) energy connections. A state of remembrance.
Jennifer ( my brother’s wife ). Other female. A child has been left with me. We are bonding and spending time. It feels a given that the child is being left to me and that this time is our time. When Jennifer and the others sweep through they ask if it is alright that they go somewhere. I tell them of course. The child and I are fine. I have been thinking I would take her somewhere. She is taken care of. I move to show them this. As I am speaking I have picked he up into my arms and feel that her diaper only now this very moment needs changing. I stand her on the sofa while I go to another room to gather supplies for this. The child does not wait and begins to remove her own pant. I am not happy at this. Now there is emotion between us at what has happened. iI am working at processing it rapidly as I begin to wake.
May 21, 2024
Catastrophic event, Japan – crystal data ( Derrick ) large blue crystals
Chaos. catastrophic event.
Health concerns. concerns for well being. physical well being. bodily well being. Japan.
Weather event. lot of water. rain. when to flee. getting the timing just right. Dog. dog out for a walk. Intruder. Sexual encounter. male and female. young couple. whether to lock or unlock. whether to use thick or thin locks. Overhead view of geometrical fractal pattern. Boats smashing together in waterways. People running. mostly for their homes rather than fleeing the area. Ally. small mom and pop robbery. food/fruit. bananas. thieves are shot. extreme action.
3:30am
[ Long pause ]
6:30am
The gardener is here with the leaf blower for hours
Long Inner dialogue with me about crystals, about where data is stored, inner planes
Derrick : he is parked out on the street and has two 2 large blue crystals *he just found them on the land. I am so excited, I ask him to show me where, they are extraordinary. He takes me around to them and I see where an enormous above ground rock formation of them is growing. As I approach, the scene turns into a crystal shop where they are wanting to sell the crystals they have to me. What a horrible feeling, the shift from pure, natural and free into the shop which has far less for far more. I immediately want out of here and heave. Scenes begin interpenetrating.
I find myself walking outdoors rounding the corner at a half height brick wall when a big rig decides to round the same corer. As it does it comes closer and closer to the point of when the front of it accidentally begins driving over the wall. I have to lay myself down to not be hit. There is at least clearance for me semi-beneath its underbelly. It has me pinned here. Has the driver even seen me? When he gets out of the cabin and walks to the rear to decide how to pull himself out from this position I try to scream “hey!” at him, to leet him know that I am here. I try a few times but can’t get my voice to travel out past the sound of the big rig’s engine.
Sometime later the brainwaves shift and I am back in my bed. I can’t help but wonder where I was going and why I was stopped in such a way.
May 20, 2024
House train reality show, 1970s party, vibrating feet
It is a rough start to the night —I am coming off a fasting day and even though I feel fairly good I just can’t fall off to sleep. It is many hours before I finally do. And my body is struggling, not due to the fast, it is just one of those heavy nights that it is experiencing more pain/duress than usual. Every time I roll over it is a feat in itself to be able to do so and is accompanied by moans. When I get up early morning to use the bathroom I am lethargic, and there is a kind of ‘pain’ through my shins and ankles. Something is going on there, maybe some kind of clearing in the night. When I get back in the bed I can feel that my feet are vibrating. I just hadn’t noticed until I laid myself back down. I have been dreaming of a being a very large 5 bedroom house. I have already embedded the dream with the words “house train reality show.” >>
The first thing I can see is that I semi-recognize the structure.
It is like the architects of the set have taken a house that I have been known to frequent in the dreamtime and updated it into the idea playing out here. I will say that the previous structure is a beloved place, while this is very different. It looks like a more modern ( and mere ) facade of the other. There is a man here who brings 5 random(?) people in at a time to live together, and it is for a particular reason, they are meant to do something while they are here -but I can’t quite see what that is any longer. It has the feeling of a reality show. People come, and people give in and go — some go before even getting started. There is a blonde girl, her hair is cut blunt above the shoulders with bangs, she is cute and athletic. She has the room that is off by itself, it is not as connected to the others and the rest of the house as the rest.
I have come up here, while recognizing the structure of the house as being similar to the other I have mentioned and see the girl here. She has just arrived and is not yet settled in. I tell her I love this room and have just come up to use the bathroom, I ask if this is okay as I just begin doing so before receiving a proper answer. She doesn’t appear very happy about this. She begins removing copious amounts of toilet paper from the bowl with her bare hands before I am even done. I tell her I had not put that there. I can’t figure out how that got there. She is accommodating this situation but is not happy with it. She ends up leaving the house before she even begins what she was brought here for. She declines it, not because of me, but because of what it is. Which again, I just can’t quite see from my current wake state.
Following this, the next thing I CAN see is where I am standing outside on the grass with the man who is heading this whole thing. I am looking back at the house from the outside. It is built onto the front of a train! a train that trails off behind it that is bright red. I find this to be brilliant ( for reasons unknown ) and am telling him this.
The next thing I know I am at a party. I am a female and I am with two other females. We all have drinks in our hands, martini-like glasses. A large array of windows is nearby, we are lit by the light streaming in from them. It seems the whole while my gaze is into the bust line of the dresses we are wearing. It might seem we are in the 1970s, there are darts sewn into the breasts of the dresses that are indicative of that timeframe, along with the tendency to not wear bras underneath, which is the case here. The conversation we are having is surrendered for the detail(s) I have just written. It seems more important I bring these back than social conversation. I have no idea why I am here. Both of the dreams I am having this morning are not usual to my dreaming. The feeling of them is off from normal. I sense a presence I can’t say I welcome.
When I finally shift back into my bed, my feet are vibrating wildly.—not just vibrating, but vibrating in a rhythmic pattern more common to what I have reported as occurring at the root chakra. Interesting! I will note that I have begun removing my jewelry before bed to see if it would have any ( positive ) effect on me. I had read that during the recording of the Ra Material, They suggested Carla remove all metal from the room ( including jewelry ). I instantly wondered about my toe rings ( I wear four of them *for decades, never removing them ) and if they were responsible even in part for why I have experienced heat and such agitation in my feet at night. I felt instantly better when I removed them, and am still looking into any further differences. The pulsed vibrating in/from the feet this morning would be one very large difference.
May 19, 2024
Failure to embed, Erich is coming around a lot
I made three attempts at data recovery, three attempts were successful, a whole spectrum of interrelated experience somewhat easily opened out in front me–but, also, three times, the data failed to embed. I was not ready to get up at this point, so as I would fall back in for 10 or 20 minutes the data would dissipate- when I found myself alert again it would be gone. I finally let it go, thinking “a day off, okay, it has been awhile hasn’t it?” One thing did stay with me, though, because I found it so surprising. Erich was here with me again. –Again. He is here so much as of late. This is what stood out. The moment that embedded is funny. Erich is coming in close over me and smelling the air like something stinks, lol. I tell him “clearly it is the new pair of black shoes.” They are black tennis shoes with white soles. ( Note: I never wear closed toe shoes, only sandals at most ). Sadly I can no longer see the surrounding data. Only that Erich is present throughout it all. So, good enough! This is what I need to be aware of.
May 18, 2024
An evening in my higher mind ( or possibly the Akash ); oneness, non-dualism
I spend a great deal of the night, multiple sleep cycles experiencing data on a subject I am personally identifying as non-dualism. This data is perceptually typed in words on enormous pages that I am reading, however as I am reading I am receiving it synchronously as direct experience. The pages are in the idea of a book but act more like those on a computer as certain word, key phrases and concepts are linked and I can follow those links into even more data specifically on them. This is either my own higher mind and/or the Akash. It is the experience of non-dualism that I remember the most. Along with the way I am receiving the experience ( which I have just logged ).
The enormity of the more precise data I have gone into is too large to fit back with me through the narrowing into the beta wave. But there are two incidents that did manage to squeeze through. The first is where I am with a small group of others who are getting something to eat. There is almost nothing here I can have, though I see there is a sort of bean and cheese taco and I order this. The young man behind the register is saying how he is short on quarters. He is overly appreciate when I pay my whole $2.25 in quarters. There is something of a celebration at me doing this. There is a lot of appreciation and joy energy moving through my heart area.
The second, and perhaps to me the more interesting moment is one in which I get to where I am actually going in this experience. I arrive in what looks like a National forrest. There is a small circular area of earth at the front of a particular forrest trail. A man is standing here talking to two others when I approach. He is the gatekeeper and an expert at this trail. I ask “is the trail that no-one dare enter?” He confirms to me that it is and as I begin to walk in — I am going after my little sister, she has long straight blonde hair ( I can see her in my mind ) and is not that much younger than myself, she is younger by perhaps just 4-7 years — the man tells me he will offer support when he frees up. The color of the earth on this trail, I will note is the same burnt brown color that has been following me around this whole month. It is a color I have a hard time naming, burnt brown is not quite right but it is the closest my mind can come to. It is a deep brown, or rich brown that has some red to it. More happens while in the forrest on this trail than I could possibly ever write ( which is why little comes back with me ) but I do reach a juncture of actually coming close enough to see my little sister, and that she is not alone. When I see her, the earth beneath my feet begins to give way in a mini landslide. My position is now much further away from her.
My heart sinks as I realize what has just happened, I was so close to reaching her and now I am not, though I can still see her. I am singular in my goal and determined in my heart. I feel this and once again begin climbing, making my way in her direction. There is no doubt in my mind as I wake that the trail I have entered is the Earth life. It is an interesting piece of data that an element of myself came here after a younger sister.
May 17, 2024
A message to slow down and pay attention, set up by the system
I am in the high-rise apartment of a young adult Asian male; he appears to be in his mid-to-late 20s. Is my niece, Taylor, here with me? There is another female in the apartment who is using this young man to do activities that are illegal and could not only get him in really hot water but also bring his positive polarity down into the negative. She is not a good influence. He is not paying enough attention. He is on the phone as she asks him to a plug in a small device that visually resembles a sort of futuristic looking iPod so that it can charge. I am not understanding everything about what this is but it belongs to a Mob man and plugging this in here could allow it to be tracked to this young man and his place. This is not the first incidence of this girl ( his girlfriend ) doing something like this, and one person also associated with the young man has told him already brought one incident to his attention. We hit a moment in the experience when we do something almost like an intervention. I take the opportunity to sweep in and tell him of this other strike against the girlfriend and Taylor? states a third. It is never easy when something like this is performed. At first the young man’s energy begins sweeping down into the negative against me. I am heading out for now and he is walking me down. I do not want him as an enemy so before I leave I invite him to a movie. This encourages him. He accepts. I make a point to confirm this is only as a friend. There is a bit of joshing with each other about this as I leave.
At ground level I see that the high-rise is one that opens out at the bottom into a mall, or indoor plaza where there are a lot of shops. I begin walking and there becomes a fast forward. When it stops, there has been some sort of minor accident for which I am a young woman into the drug store to purchase rubbing alcohol. It is for the young man. Then I think better of this. I walk into the drug store and find her at the counter “did he give you any money for this?” I ask, to which she says “no”. When I reach into my purse for 10 dollar bill, before handing it to her I see another already sitting on the white counter in front of me next to a cotton and t-shirt and short set that is burnt brown in color. The 10 dollar bill is taped strangely along one side. I compare it to my own 10 dollar bill and decide to use it instead of mine. I pace mine back in my purse as I hand over the other. Before leaving I pick up the clothing and take it with me. No sense in it just being left here. There is another fast forward in the scene.
I have put on the new clothing and have gone to buy movie tickets. Then I am back in the drug store in line at the cashier. I am beginning to feel a time crunch with the time of the movie and getting back to young man in time to see it. Scenes are beginning to converse on one another now. I am not having any luck jumping ahead in line to pay and getting a little frustrated before I think to myself I just cancel the tickets for I can, I can get others later.
In a rush I begin walking back through the plaza toward the high-rise.
On the way I pass another man who sees my clothing and what the t-shirt says on the front. He might appear to be ‘on the spectrum’ as he ogles at it, points and says it is from the mental institution. This shocks me because now I think I must be standing out like a sore thumb, like an escapee from an institution. I am wearing one of my light wraps and am pulling it around me to fully cover my front.when a security officer dressed in a grey uniform runs up to me from behind. For a moment I think I might be getting caught but it turns out he is only addressing how fast I am going and would like me slow down. I laugh a small sigh of relief, and say “yes, you are right, I will.” He smiles back at me and nods his approval, then begins to walk back the other way as I continue toward the high-rise, being very alert to my pace.
This is as far as I can see. The shock was too much of a jolt and I am beginning to wake.
I am feeling like I have been set up, like the system is going to put me away.
A highly unpleasant sense of claustrophobia.
May 16, 2024
Root chakra, razor thin shifts, Egyptian male, close contact, In bed with Erich and Rona
It is not easy for me to get to sleep tonight. I am very comfortable in my body but also relatively awake. At midnight I finally have to put on some Art Bell. It takes hours more but I finally fall off. I notice throughout the night, as the brainwaves periodically move through beta, an interesting repeating phenomenon. I am making razor thin shifts. I am here and then I am there. I am on this side of veil, and then on the other. — back and forth. Each time I shift to this side, the physical side, I can’t see anything from the other. These hairline, or what I more usually refer to as seamless shifts can be like this. It takes great practice to carry data back and forth over them.
Hypnogogic imagery : In the morning, after getting up to use the bathroom and laying back down for data retrieval I grow to be in a stable position and state on the threshold of the Void. I begin to see sustained flashes of visuals. I first see a seated being with what from this distance looks to be an elongated head -due to this I think to myself that it is an extraterrestrial. It is wearing a gown-like garment, the hem of which reaches the floor. I cannot say why this detail stands out to me. I am brought in closer and I see this is an Egyptian male(?) wearing a headdress. It is not an ET, or not exactly anyway, – both ideas somehow still seem valid. Following this is a pause ( Void ), and then a flock of birds flies from my lower left quadrant in a trajectory up toward the top right. I am asked, or it is suggested I get the detail of how many birds were just in the flock. I could, if I wanted, look into this and count them, but I don’t. I know, can see and/or feel there are roughly, exactly 13 of them. Then a pause again ( Void ), before a flash, center and face to face with me.
Another Egyptian symbol. A gold bust of a male(?) in full regalia, like the lid to a sarcophagus of a king. It is pure gold, the eyes are painted black and white and the lids and possibly other features a lapis lazuli blue. Then a pause again—Void. I am intrigued by this space, I am just so solidly and securely here. And the visuals. I know they are taking me somewhere but they haven’t yet. I can think to myself in this space. I can communicate into the space. There is an invisible presence who I seem to be dialoguing with in the back of my awareness. I am here for what seems the longest time. Then I am back in my bed. *after yet another hairline shift.
I think to myself this will be all I bring forward into my log today, then. This incidence of the hairline shifts and these fascinating sustained hypnogogics from such a uniquely stable position on the verge of Void-space. I think this is relative to the channeling that is in the process of beginning. Everything at present seems about this. In the midst of me having these thoughts, two additional phenomena come into my awareness >>
The first is the additional data, or some of the additional data from this experience. It rushes back to me in real time and I am physically in it again. I am lying in a large bed curled up on my left side, just as I am in real space. Erich is here. He is in another room but he is talking to me, and as though I am awake. I am beginning to levitate. “Is he going to see this?” I think to myself, “are we going to show him?” He comes into the room and continues talking to me as though I am awake. The inner cavity of my mouth is in a shape that indicates the precursor to words coming out of my mouth *but none ever do, my mouth just stays like this. I can feel it throughout the experience.
Now my etheric limbs, my right leg in particular is beginning to lift up out of the physical body. It floats up to a certain height and then just levitates here throughout the rest of the experience. Erich has come into the bed and laid down behind me. I feel him peck kiss the back of my head, at the top right rim of talu chakra. He does this multiple times and then 1 ) I am on the phone with him, and 2 ) Rona is in the bed lying in front of me. What Erich is saying to me is clear as day at this point *but does not carry back with me. I hand the phone to Rona, and she and Erich speak together next. I am very much aware of what I am feeling, both in the experience and as I shift from here —as I see an angry ocean tide and dark clouds I am speaking with a tall male, learned-feeling guidance figure. I am saying “it would be very nice to have another friend, who can tolerate knowing what is happening with me without their whole paradigm going haywire as a result.” It feels like Erich is agreeing to come in on all of this and back into my life. ( that would be nice ).
The second phenomena that enters my awareness is that while lying here there is the pulse-wave I commonly experience when going out of body. It is the root chakra, vibrating and spinning in rhythmic frequency pulses and patterns. It is different today. It is stronger, and has me pinned in a far more sustained way. Nothing I can do can break it. I can think to myself, I can communicate, I can move—and it continues unwaveringly. In a lesser feeling-sense it is still doing so now, an hour after having opened my eyes, gotten up and begun activity. I can still lightly feel it. The rhythm and the pulses are very different today. More normally it is a 5-8 second pulse, and then 1 second full stop that is repeated and repeated. Today the pulses are much longer, far, far longer, and rather than full stop it may get thin and wind down in the shape of a little river before growing full on again for a lengthy, lengthy sustained pulse. The experience of this, as I have shared in previous logs, is incredible, intoxicating, deeply healing to say the very least. I never want to break it. It is going on for so long this morning, though, and it is not stopping on its own. I do not want to, and it does take me some time ( roughly an hour more ) but I break through it to wake and get myself up. It is 10:10am. I have been lying here pinned in this wondrous rhythmic pulse for 4 hours.
Note: Last night when in a remarkably clear state going into my dream time I was asking about the Lion being ( with the electric blue light coming through his clothing ) that arrived outside the night before. I asked his name. I clearly heard, Alarak. I feel the conscious meeting between us will happen soon. Such exciting times ( ! ). I knew this would be so amazing to experience—going into my service as a channel for higher consciousness. I am seriously enjoying this.
Note: There is one additional moment that I see at the tail end of this whole experience and it is a moment wherein a young light skinned black woman ( I recognize this visual representation as being one of five members of my cluster, the other four being male ) who runs past me from behind my point of perception toward an invisible something. She impacts it whole body and tackles it to the ground; at impact the invisible something comes into view- visually a young caucasian male. The rest of the ‘detective’ team here with her just leaves her to it rather than backing her up–until something happens and the male in custody attempts, partially successfully to get a jump on her. Then everyone quickly springs to action, gets the guy re-handcuffed and the situation handled.
**Did a neg just try to get at me? It might seem so.
May 15, 2024
Extreme convergence, sustained visceral sensations, moments leading into my deaths
What we have today is a conglomeration. It is challenging to see into much of the detail surrounding any of the discrete events due scenes converging into one another, characters converging into one another, and even my own consciousness interpenetrating the consciousness field of others who are engaged in activity discrete from what it is I myself am engaged in. All this makes it near impossible, not just to discern what is happening but to parse out from this a time flow of related events. What I have here, due to this is something more like a soup of all the converging concepts. Before getting into the details I can say two more things. Sensations are primary throughout ( I am experiencing and processing data through my actual physical system ), the experiences are all more visceral than visual; they are both, but the visceral nature of them is what is primary. Most all the experiences, those I have brought back with me and those I have not are leading into moments in which I potentially die.
The first, and longest of the scenarios is one which I now can barely recall- it is a living situation that includes a small group of people, two women, two men and myself *I cannot confirm which sex I am though I glean a moment in which I felt for it and what I felt was masculine.The dynamic could have been of crew members on a craft, though there are both ground level and spacial components. This is all that remains of this segment. I can no longer even see the individuals. The next experience is in a rock mine. The rocks are all fist size and smaller, and grey. I can’t say what kind of mineral or ore is being extracted from them. The rocks are piled in mine carts which by some means are moved along a rail. There is a boy, maybe 13 years old with a broken right arm in a sling riding on top of a cart filled with the rocks. I feel badly for him, and for all the boys who move through this place. There is so much convergence here it is hard to see anything other than this and the moment at the end when some other boys have him cornered by himself. There is something he has done. He is not denying it. In fact he is very genuinely relating how these things are necessary to them all in these times. The people are in a very poorly way. All the same, they cannot let him off. He is about to beat potentially to death. Another scene converges >>
This experience seems utterly unrelated, and futuristic. I have stepped as a female into a large white, very clean shower room. I am walking toward one of the shower heads and about to turn on the water when I see a silver, metallic orb ( roughly the size of a softball ) left on the ground beneath the shower head to my left. My life immediately feels threatened. I feel the presence of a male person who I never come to actually see, but I am speaking with him. I am just causally moving myself, saying I can just shower over on the other side of the room. It is known that I have seen this. I am realizing the vulnerable situation I am in. I have just walked into the wrong place at the wrong time and now there is little I can do other than await the decision of whether those involved in this activity will attempt to eliminate me. Another scene converges >>
This whole part of the experience is converging on itself in so many different ways it is a wonder I can say anything at all. I am in a place, a place which in part has features of what I perceive as a mall ( likely due to the various areas all collapsing into one ). Again there is a group of somewhat feral children, they are of all different ethnicities, but perhaps principally African American.
I am merged in the consciousness field of a female person who is taking action toward being responsible for them. She gathers them and puts them in an area to the back of the mall and tells them to stay here before re-immersing in her other activities. Some hours later she remembers them. They will have to use the bathroom and be fed some kind of lunch. Scenes converge until we are walking toward what looks like a proper restaurant that is pained grey on the outside. There is nature surrounding it. The energy feels like we are on some kind of field trip. I see some of the children really close up, in the sunlight, as we all walk toward the place. I can also feel the prejudice of the girls against white people. This part is uncomfortable for me, because I remember experiencing it in real time myself through the 1970s.
As we all go into this place a final scene converges.. I am now as myself ( Casey ) merged in the consciousness field of a man. What I have stepped into is not a restaurant but some kind house of mirrors. I say this not because there are mirrors within the place but because there is a nemesis inside who knows the ins and out of the place. He has ways of closing doors and confining me/us in rooms where can play his games. The interior of the place is charcoal and black and lit with some kind of watery light ( like you might see emanating from an aquarium/large fish tank ). This whole place, although a house, is like some kind of laboratory. The man I am merged with is not without skills, though. When his nemesis tries to bolt him into this room we are now in he manages to sever his left foot in the door system as it shuts. He reaches just in time to retrieve a small round silver disc ( visually resembling a tiny round battery ). I do not know what it is but there is something the man is already beginning to do with this that will aid his escape.
I myself am engaged in something else all together, though in all the soup I can no longer see what that is. I am up on a black exam table -merged in the man who I also perceive as in this position- there is a large AI female face holographically projecting into the room and looming in real close to the space in front of us—her head in 6x the size of our own. There is information coming from her. I myself am listening, trying to figure out what is happening and how I can get myself out of this position when the man reaches for her face and makes it to go down on him. [ I have to say I did not see that coming ]. The sensation floods through my own physical system. The jolt, and perhaps just the timing of it with a shift in brainwave patterns causes me to begin to wake. I look toward my body and feel in full what it is experiencing, which in terms of energy through the nadis and channels is quite lit up and sensorily exquisite—before more properly re-entering it.
Even after having done so the sensation sustains itself for some time afterward. It is not an easy one to let go of and is likely the main reason the night’s experiences as a whole fractal apart into the mere remnants we can now see written here.
Another interesting overall experience dynamic.
There is lots going on in there ( ! ).
May 14, 2024
Male lion being exuding electric blue light, channeling preparations, and a test
Wow.
This night has been all about the channeling and inner preparations for the channeling.
The energy is already present, even at the very cusp of the evening. I got the sleepy feeling, the cue to go in good and early, around roughly 9pm, but I did not follow it. I wanted to finish up with some things I had finally, just tonight gotten started on my end. As a result I am awake as the energy increased, my legs get amped and feet begin to heat. This is generally uncomfortable for me, although it is minimal now relative to before. I did have to move through a few measures prior to being able to fall off. While I am moving through these measures, that certain feeling is in the air. That feeling of surreal-ness, twilight-ness. This part is always magical. I will note that while here, it is tangibly present enough for me to challenge the energy in the name of unconditional love. It is met in the positive, in fact with glee -and to my delight- three consecutive times.
The first thing I see when I close my eyes is the arrival of a Lion being, a male- it is night and as though he has just parked outside the house. I am seeing him from his right in slight profile. He is standing just to the outside of his vehicle ( the idea of something hip/cool like a motorcycle ). Gazing at him, the suit of clothing he is wearing begins to stand out to me; he is very smartly dressed, and as though through cracks in glass, a radiant electric blue light emanates through his clothing. The energy of the fields is beginning to take me -I fall off.
Some hours later, as the brainwaves move through beta I find myself laying here in the bed again. I am on my back and the vibrations still have me lightly pinned. “I knew I would be moved onto my back” I think to myself, as I see I have been involved in a contact and merging process. There is a man standing to the front of me who is overseeing the process and another being, energetically male, is merging through the whole of the back body ( ie: where our systems open to Spirit, the front body in contrast opening to the world ). I feel open through all seven ( 7 ) energy centers and a full system merge. In the same way that I go out of body through my whole system, and not through a particular energy center, the entangling, relative to the channeling will be same. I was able to successfully allow both the contact and merging. I am feeling really proud of myself in this moment. I’ve finally done it. Before I fall back off I get up to use the bathroom. As I head back toward the bed, the clock on the wall reads 3:30am.
Two cycles later I wake again. I ( think I ) use the bathroom again. I have been with a woman in what looks like her living room. This sequence is so clear at this time that I take no further care to embed it than to say “woman”. As by seeing the clock, or some other means if I haven’t actually gotten up I know it is the 6am hour.
Test : I am sent from the previous sequence to go take a test.
I find myself walking down a long interior corridor. Increasingly all the entities ( people, beings ) here disappear until it is just me and the long corridor, which also gradually alters from the idea of an old Ivy league college with tall bright windows to my sides to just a plain interior corridor which shines in creamy beige hues as though made of marble or some like material. I begin to feel I am becoming lost when I see in the distance at a juncture in which the corridor comes to a bend and extremely tall man. The closer I come to him the more I realize he is giant. He must stand more than 20 feet tall. He is bald, fair skinned and wearing shades of medium brown clothing.
I feel a softness in my heart and delight at seeing this. I know I must be smiling ear to ear when I approach and ask him “am I going the right way to take the test?” Our energies intertwine and I can tell there is something wrong. Is it with my smile? I tell him I will take it off, I did not realize it would offend. He says there is nothing wrong with smiling, as my face looms up into the height into which his is, “but if there is even a glint of anything else in the eye” he says, letting the sentence linger right there. I tell him there isn’t, there really isn’t, no fear, no shock at him, just delight. It is as though we become as good friends as he both energetically and physically walks me up the bend toward the testing area. It feels nice having one so strong looking out for me.
It would have been nice to have gotten his name, there wasn’t time, it didn’t occur to me. He begins to see there is a line for the tests that may just exceed the number of tests left to be given. So on my behalf he moves through a short cut, through an area to our left, rather than continue forward as we were to enter the line -where I am aware of a few young adult female persons standing. In fact it feels this testing area is only for girls. This area itself, as we move toward the front of it, I notice emanates a light that is of a very faint plum and pink hue. Sunlight floods through the space through more extremely tall windows and thin white sheers softly billow with the entering winds. We reach the front of this area where there is a tall work station, a simple, tall counter-like table which the girls in line are funneling toward from their direction. Standing here at the station is a middle-aged woman of approximately 60 some odd years who is the headmistress here. She has a delightful personality I find, as she turns to face us ( the giant recedes ) and she begins to relay to me the ease of the test, explaining as though a child could understand that it is multiple choice and I simply circle what most closely matches. She really has not turned to face me in this relay, as much as her attention is omnidirectional and it has just seemed this way to me.
Once given this information by the cheerful headmistress, I am quickly approached by an older gentleman of a more stern nature, short in stature with a bald head, who hands me a piece of paper. My attention goes toward the paper but returns to him before getting a good look as he cautioningly says “do not lie on any of this or we will know.” Having said this, he turns and walks away. I look back at the paper. It is written in a hand that I do not recognize. There is print on the front and back, and, oddly, the top half of what is written is thick and bold as though written with a sharpie, while the bottom half is written in regular pen. If the page is turned over as one would turn the page of a book, it the opposite on the other side. Not consciously recognizing the symbols that are written I simply bore my attention into the page for a brief moment, just enough to see that it is a test, and a kind of labyrinth if you will, there is a certain formation of geometries I will have to fractal through to take and pass this test. This does not seem like what the headmistress had described, I somewhat immediately realize. I stop myself short from fully entering and return to the room. The headmistress is just beginning to walk away as I reach out for her. She can see the confusion on my face as I ask, in order to confirm, “is this is the right test?”
I hand her the piece of paper, to which, as she looks upon it is aghast.
She then folds the piece of paper into the shape of a small triangle and places in with the other items she is holding in her arms.
I reach out for it, taking the triangular shape of folded paper between the thumb and forefinger of my left hand. She is not letting go. Either am I, although I am not yet very strongly insisting on its return. She is a superior, and my advocate, I am just wanting to know why she has confiscated the test. She has done so without saying why. I tell her I know I can pass this test, I had taken a peek into it. She says it is not a matter of being able to pass, as she leans in just a tad toward my ear and with disdain for it says “it is insulting.” She now insists more strongly on keeping this from me and the bit of the triangle I had held to falls out of my grasp as she says “stay with that, pointing to a large 20×30 color portrait of a female Feline being in a folder I am carrying. “But that is not a test” I try to tell her, “this is my own item.” Her attention ( and presence ) is already receding from me. I can’t catch up. “Insulting?” I can’t help but think to myself, “in what way is it insulting?” What was in there? And why did the headmaster want me to take that test? I can’t figure any of this out. In my questions and energy of confusion the experience disintegrates until I find I am back in my room, — where I lay trying for a solid 30 minutes to see into more of what this has all been about -with no luck. I notice I can no longer even see into the two large two segments that came perceptually prior to being sent to take the test. Although I can see I was with the woman. And prior to this the man- the man overseeing the merging process.
When I get the periodic stings of any more than this coming through, a placeholder is put in front of it—an image of a Feline being, the same one as in the portrait I had been carrying. It would seem I have a gatekeeper. I ask why this information is being held from me. An energy is put through that tells me what I am consciously aware of ( ie: what I know ) I am responsible for embodying; there are strikes against me otherwise. I understand. I am not yet ready to take that bold a step.
It is not necessarily that I am not ready in the sense that I could not embody it, but that if I did my position in 3D might be severed. I am not sure which. Or it it is even an either/or.
These ideas are all present at once.
Note: Just because it often seems an intriguing coincidence, helicopters have been circumnavigating the space directly above and around the house ALL night, through the entirety of this experience and are still present I write this.
May 13, 2024
Increasingly the questions I ask are answered through the night
I am just coming off of a day of fasting ( this is my second week of fasting each Sunday ); this fast was 40 hours. I am happy to report that the evening and night was much easier on my body than last week, which due it being the first time of the fasting my body did not know what to make of. This week is easier, as will I suspect consecutive weeks as my body increasingly acclimates to a day devoted to rest/healing. I sat outside for a couple hours, one hour directly in the sun and I think this helped greatly. As did, or possibly did consuming a small 2 ounce portion of chicken ( I only very rarely eat any meat ) with my evening meal the night before. I will continue to test this, and continue or discontinue this measure as appropriate. I fell asleep easily, and on my own without a lecture playing in the background and slept well through the night.
My dreaming is on the mundane side and does not easily capture my attention. But I had asked a question that it would seem is beginning to be addressed in the various scenarios. The question has to do with achieving a sustainable income stream through the spiritual work without the need of a second and often overwhelming job. I asked what I have stored already in my Vortex that I can begin to immediately draw from in a very practical sense and receive directly in my hands beginning NOW. This is what I see playing out come mid-evening– the underlying theme of the dreams is clearly SERVING >> the feeling of the environment, which is not fully formed is Italian >>
I am in a back area and vaguely see some people, one man in particular who is closest to me sitting on simple wooden chairs. I am getting frustrated as I try to put together leftover ingredients we have that will make a meal, a kind of parmesano sandwich. It is like I can’t properly hold on to the items, or put them together. I finally flip up my cutting board and the work I had already done as everything goes flying to the floor. I look at it all, regather myself, and begin again. Once I have it all put together I go out into the environment on roller skates to serve it to people. I can hear in their minds exactly what they are wanting and when there is a match for what I have I serve that to them. Behind the scene I can feel into a dimension in which I am spinning in some kind of large elliptical pattern, not unlike the way planets revolve around a sun.
Then I am helping a woman who used to work as a hair dresser. She is now doing work for a law firm. I see her studying. I ask what it is she is doing, exactly, for the firm. She tells me and for some reason I ask her if she is being paid for this work. She says she isn’t -she really emphasizes that she isn’t. I tell her this is not right and begin to counsel her on the matter. I ask her why she stopped doing the other work. She tells me of the difficulty she has with doing nails, how they disintegrate under the veneers and polish and she just can’t handle it. I suggest that she just focus on the haircutting. And even perhaps find a specialty in it that will allow her to make a bit more money at it. I tell her that people will always need haircuts and she will always have a job, while this other work she is being brought in on is not altogether reliable, a position that is here today and potentially gone tomorrow -and, besides, she is not being paid for it. This woman is someone who I feel I half recognize. Someone who looks very familiar to me.
I recall a segment where I am with a hefty Belizean? woman. It is a long segment that I just barely recall now. I am carrying three large mocha colored drinks stacked on top of one another. I am wanting to place one in front of each of three doors.
No. idea. why.
May 12, 2024
Captured, confined and relocated to another planet
(where I live out an entire life)
The dreaming is long tonight, I will have to be content with honing into a certain segment >> There is a group of maybe of 12 of us who are confined within the cargo hold of a ship- we are about to be released onto some planet. There are air vents leading into this smaller hold that we are in, it is just a narrow fully open area at the roof that circumvents the pentagonal shaped hold. A murky color of the air is coming into it now that is tinted a slightly teal color. There is a chemical smell to it. Someone here sees I am getting nervous about it and tells me I can breathe, “it isn’t nice but it won’t kill you” he says. The door ( an actual whole wall ) of the hold opens and before us is the planet, we all begin to walk out, spreading further and further apart until going mostly our separate ways. There are already other human-type people here as well. I spot a man sitting beneath a tree that grows what looks like orange and yellow bell peppers. I am immediately grateful that there is food. The man here is discontent over what food is available but I myself am quite relieved. I move through a series of events while out here that lead me to meet certain people that eventually connect me with a settlement.
The structure I am in while here is constructed of metals and itself, from the inside looks like some kind of ship, though it is not. The people here are very plainly dressed. Their hygiene is okay but it is clear we do not have the usual resources to groom ourselves- blow dryers, hair irons and products, make up, etc.. There is none of this. It is all very basic. I work myself into the group, into a role/job seeing to the law and order, not working for the settlement or system but as a kind of independent investigator. Throughout this timespan I recall instances of trying to kiss two of the men. Each of them is more of a leader, one of them is of the settlement, the other it would seem is of the larger planetary system structured around this. There is another man who I find quite odd, regressive, who likes me whose energy intrudes into what I want for myself. It could be that it is he who creates the difficulty for me that leads to me being detained by two females of -for lack of a better word- the police force of the larger system. They are both extremely pretty, one blonde, one brunette. I come to be involved in a mission of sorts with a few others from my settlement. We are trying to get at something, I do not recall what, but we are standing at a paneling on a wall in one of the corridors that does not belong to us. We are trying to get into it and get caught.
The rest of the night it is a cat and mouse game I play with the two women police force officers. It is all very amusing. We realize all three of us are good and working for the good, there is no hostility or malice in them trying to catch me, or in my steadily successful evasive maneuvers. We just work in different ways, I prefer the independence and do not know yet if I can really trust them- but a bond between us IS being built through our constant interpenetrating activity.
They catch me and I get away more times than I can write. One amusing incident is when I take one of their own hover craft to get only to find it is keyed to them and unbeknownst to me in the get-a-way it is leading me right back to them. In the one that is happening right before I wake they have taken me inside one of their loft style apartments. It is nice, but I do not want to be here under someone else’s thumb, not of my own accord. The brunette woman and I are sitting on the floor at the side of a coffee table and when she reaches for something in the opposite direction, which she does hesitate in the midst of before continuing, I make a run for it. In the process, as reaches back over for me, my arm gets scratch. Before moving an inch, the brunette woman calls the blonde woman and together they catch the blood onto a microscope slide—before beginning their re-pursuit of me. Interestingly, in the stairwell going down I am doing a similar thing, as I have her DNA in my wound, which is on my finger. I am carefully wrapping a bandaid-like cloth around it to secure it all. I cannot see into the details of exactly why all of us are doing this.
Descending the stairs I exit the door at the bottom that leads to the outside. It is night. The two women come barreling through the door only seconds later. But—and this is interesting, I have vanished. I cannot even tell myself where I have gone. It is like I am instantaneously dematerialized from the scene and on a dime invisibly PUT here to face the opposite direction, the direction facing the door, where I see the two run out, and hear their plan to track and recapture me. I am now in another level of being and power. One wherein the un-manifest can reach into the manifest and do as they please. My awareness mostly ends here with this. Though I am being shown, for some reason the back of my own head as the player I am in this whole set of scenes. My hair is the same mousy color as it is in real life ( ie: this Earth life ) only it is not as long as it is at present and it layers around to the back. I am thinking to myself “has my hair broken off like this?” I can’t quite glean what has happened, or make the discernment that although similar I am not quite my Earth person in this set of scenes. Though there is a similarity and definite connection.
I have heard of how people are taken off planet in a sort of slave trade.
This seems a glimpse into that whole phenomenon.
__________________
Earlier in the night I remember a moment.
I am standing with Erich, or who appears to be Erich. There is the feeling of discontent. There is something said about the gap of time between when we were regularly a part of each other’s lives. I lighten the air by making a like joke. About ketchup of all things. I say to just add it to everything to get me to come around, “you know much I love ketchup.” [ Note: if I do, I had no idea that I do, lol ]. Erich is not happy with me. All my errors in this exchange are now being gone over. I can see that I am standing right up on, way too close. That I explained my own joke as though he didn’t get it. And more. Ack. I make so many mistakes. I was just saying this to someone the other day.
May 11, 2024
More void jumping, pain in my abdomen, grey tiger striped house cat
I have just three power points ( without much detail ) from the night.
I will note that the planet began being impacted by a series of a near unprecedented 7 solar storms last night, and the Earth facing CMEs were still continuing to fire. At the first juncture of the night that I have recall I am in an in-between state. What gets my attention is first my body. I am laying on my back and there is a pain in the center of my body, my torso, just below the diaphragm in what is probably my small intestine. It feels like it could be a blockage. It really hurts. It would be concerning if 1 ) I were not in the current consciousness state, and 2 ) I did not know the body is worked with and to an extent healed in the night. I spend a little time, maybe 15 minutes feeling and looking into the sensation and then I begin to fall off.
As I am, I am looking around for what I have been dreaming and see the second moment that jumps out to me, which is one in that a group of maybe five of us are all jumping into a car. It is not unlike last night, which I also found interesting, where it is like we are standing primed on the edge of the void and then at the right moment jumping into the environment that we are. At this moment in the night I do also see into the surrounding data but I no longer recall it this morning. I recall that the dreams were unusual and interesting but this is all that will come through to me.
In the morning I ask if there is anything further for me to bring forward into my log. Instantaneously I am shown, clear as life a grey, tiger striped house cat. It is walking toward me. I believe it is a what is called a “Tabby”. Note: when I would look through cat breed books and articles as a young girl this was always the cat I was most drawn to. Also, cats continue to come through almost anytime I ask this question these days. Interesting.
My curiosity is increasingly piqued.
May 10, 2024
A leap from the void into bed with Shirley MacLaine
As the moment I enter begins, from what seems the edge of the void I am viewing what looks like a large bed. On the far right side of the bed is Shirley Maclaine. There is someone on the left but I do not see who it is. Shirley says she is cold, opens the covers and asks if we want to jump in. Someone jumps in with me but I do not see who. I suspect it may be my sister, Sandy, as I find she is in the next part of the experience. I am the one who jumps in closest to Shirley. I think she must be too squished at the edge and move myself a bit hoping everyone will have a comfortable enough space. She reaches a hand over, works strands of my hair near the scalp between her fingers, then brings her fingers to her nose to smell them -as though she is seeing if my hair is clean. I am not worried, I think it is clean. Next, the covers are pulled up from the foot of the bed and something is being shown to me. I do not recall what, exactly, but it is through this that I shift into the back seat of a car being driven by a young woman.
The car is a SUV, it large, roomy and comfortable, I feel like I have a whole living room to myself back here -though my sister is sort of invisibly here with me, too. I seem to know she is here but I am not yet really seeing her. The young woman who is driving is maybe not yet even 20 years old- she is plump, has silky brown hair, perfect skin with rosy cheeks and has the prettiest, kindest face. She ends up doing the driving everywhere we go. Later I give her $20 gas money for this. Our destinations are not very far, they are in a close radius to her house. I recall we go to 3 different places but my only memory is of being in the car on the way there and/or back.
Conversation between us all is going on the whole while but of course non of this makes it back with me either. Following all the driving we are at her house. A brother is here who is her approximate age. He is plump also and has lighter hair. Both of them are so perfected, so genuinely helpful, literally at all times, there is no moment when they are not doing something to be of help that it near brings me to tears. [ I can feel the differential between us, how far I have to go ]. I am now remembering another moment in the car. I had actually met their mother first. Who truly is just stunning in her beauty. I am telling this to Sandy, and showing her in a mirror that seems to have multiple dimensions of windows through which we go through ( three windows to be exact ) to arrive at where I am able to see and show Sandy who she is and what she looks like. In this picture, or view of her that I am showing she is a more mundane looking Earth human woman. I am saying how this representation does not do her true beauty justice.
Back in the house, more conversations are being had. I more formally meet the brother, who at this moment is sitting at the head of the dining room table as his sister prepares some kind of medical application ( like a dialysis set up but not ). She is preparing a solution that is being inserted into a large pouch that has tubing coming off from it. It is just laying flat on the table as she does this so I try to be helpful by elevating the tip of the tubing so prevent fluid prematurely flowing out. My sister tells me to lay it back down. I do not, I think what I am doing is right, and helpful. The young woman does mind either way. My sister almost ends up being like some kind of trickster energy here. There is another incident where something I had purchased for the house, for the kitchen, a bulk quantity of pancake mix because they eat this a lot here goes missing. I am looking everywhere for it. I remember Sandy having placed it in a large glass bowl that I distinctly remember being placed where the young woman and I are now looking but she is hanging back and denying she ever did this. The trickster energy is really coming through as she does this. I feel the energy of Shirley beginning to bleed through into this spectrum of activity as I continue my looking —and— slowly exit the scene into a quite vibratory state of my body laying here in my bed.
I wonder for a moment if I will be held from fully entering my body -as yesterday.
I test this and find that I am not, I can break the vibration if I want.
May 9, 2024
Channeling practice, challenging entities, greetings from the dark
In this log I will go backwards through the time-flow.
This is a major event that is relative my vocal channel now opening and delving into more focused, deliberate practice.
After getting up briefly to use the bathroom at 8am I lay back down for what I think will just be a few moments of recall. I had picked up my crystal, my healer, ( George ), but I set him back down due to the heat building from me in him so quickly. I am told to pick him back up. Moments later I see a little entity flash in, in front of my face. He is whitish relative to the backdrop of the Void-space behind him, the blackness in front of my closed eyes. I instantly decide I will challenge him, like I am learning in Carla’s channeling protocols.
I greet the entity in love and light and ask if he is here in the highest light for the greatest good of all. The answer {{{ yes }}} reverberates through before I even finish the sentence. I say “very good, this was the first time of the asking.” I ask again, ( this time more fully emanating the light of actually being what I am challenging against ), “are you here in the highest light for the greatest good of all?’ This time the reverberation is clearly a {{{ no }}}. I say “I see, well I wish you well on your way then. In love and light.” So curious. This process really seems to have worked. I can’t help but wonder why I got a “no” the second time. Before I know it >>
I am in the fields.
The detail is too much to bring back in full, though I feel I have the critical bits.
After having fallen through the previous environment I am now in a car with my sister, Sandy, ( deceased ), and a friend of hers. Sandy is driving, the friend is in the passenger seat and I am in the back. The friend is of mixed descent, maybe Mexican-American with bits of other ethnicities mixed in, as though both sets of parents were also mixed. The conversation at the moment is about a yoga studio her friend has in a certain area of town. I am trying to work out in my head where this is and what the distance is from me. I was just thinking yesterday it would be so nice to have a place that I could use like this. The friend is saying how she doesn’t even use it, some other person uses it minimally sometimes. My attention more fully comes into the car, the road, and Sandy’s driving. This is a repeating experience I am in, I am beginning to recognize it.
I am always a bit on edge when Sandy is driving, she is more practiced in this environment and can disperse all the traffic away from her as she drives but for me it is like at moment there is apt to be a collision. We are pulling onto a back half street that leads into a plaza, “I always forget this street is here” I think to myself as we follow it into the plaza, across the lot, onto another busy street, hang a right and head into yet another plaza. We are almost here. Sandy almost misses a veer to the right, I hear her say “where are we going? oh yeah” as she makes the veer just in time to not hit the flower lined half wall on our left as we drive in.
We all get out of the car and go into the large, creamy marble floored lobby of the building that is here. I find myself sitting now with Sandy’s friend, a few people who are sat here, and a dog that it would appear is my sister’s ( her Guardian ). One of the women who is sat here tries to speak with me. It is about the dog, which is what brings the dog to my attention, and how a dog keeps us in great shape as they need to be taken on multiple walks each day. My conscious state of attention is on the very verge of fluctuating in and out of this whole experience, this conversation and the activity that follows. It is the strangest sensation. There is much more to what is happening here than what is apparent. The scene is moving in a highly linear fashion, each little bit of activity playing out just as ( slow as ) it does in real time. The scene leads to where I am scrunched down in my chair in a near horizontal way, the dog is laid out on my stomach and I am scratching his coat and playing with him. This has gotten the attention of security. Who comes over and wants to know who we are and what we are doing here. I tell him I am here with my Sister, who is the one who has business here. I give her name to him and he checks and verifies that she is on his clipboard. He apologies for the intrusion and goes back to his duties. The next thing I know I am taking the dog for a walk. I think to take him outside but when we get to the front doors evidently we do not go through. We go further into the building. The dog is on a very long leash and while standing in a wide, open corridor speaking with someone I notice he has entered a door behind me.
I follow the leash through the door and find I am in the back of a darkened movie theater. I continue following the leash along the back row of grey colored seats, seeing some of the people who are sitting in the row to the front of this one. They are all looking at me strangely. They noticed the dog come in, who I see now is just getting up from having made a poop. There is chatter about this from the people, who are nice enough about this having happened but everyone it seems can smell it. I look for some napkins, which I find left on one of the seats to clean up the mess as I make whispered apologies. As I investigate the floor, though, I cannot find the poop. I am going to need a light. I remember the little key light I ( used to ) have on my key ring. I get it out and turn it on. The light is weak, it does help but not much. As I am looking for the poop I begin to notice this large structure behind the back of the last row of seats.
It looks like a kind of large hot water heater in the way it is set up—caged in a thin, metal, rectangular shaped housing only inside is not a hot water heater. There is fire, or the idea of fire coming up from the bottom and what looks like two extremely large, roughly 12 foot lingams—phallus shaped, burnt brown with slight reddish tint that project upward further than I can see due to the housing built around them. I begin to see something crawling at eye enough level to the outside of the lingam nearest to me. “What is that?” I am thinking to myself, as I try to see the thing clearer. I shine my key light at it and see that it is a tiny faerie-like creature ( a minion ), grey-bluish in color against the burnt brown of the lingam. It does not emanate a good feeling, it feels negative. *It also resembles through the face the entity that first greeted me before heading into this experience. Its head is an inverted triangle shape. Its arms and legs spindly. It momentarily looks right at me as I catch it in my key light. Were I any more conscious this whole thing would give me shivers. As it is, I am still just trying to figure out what it is I am seeing. At this moment security comes in and approaches me.
The guard is telling me that the owner of this building is really not happy with my activity. The man emphasizes really not happy with me. I wonder for a moment where my sister is, this is her dog ( guardian, actually, who just brought all this to my attention ) ( I am told she is in the tanning salon by some kind of inner knowing ) and if I should explain to security why I am here- that the dog had done its business and I came in to clean it up. I decide I better had, and I am telling him this as we head out the door of the theater and into the wide corridor outside. Where there are many men in suits standing in the formation of a square. I think it works to my benefit that I am not consciously present at this point. My ignorance, innocence of what is happening covers over to a degree what I came to see in there. In this energetic with the men in suits I dissolve until in a whole other area.
The ground is dirt, there are wood beamed built buildings on either side of me. It might seem I am in the wild west. I am with my brother, Derrick. It is not just him, there are others as well, and Derrick himself does not actually come in until the gist of what is going on here is already fully established. There is this man, a sort of higher dimensional gunman who is sweeping through and eliminating certain people. The environment looks and feels similar to the movie Westworld and the guy – ( I can’t really call him quite a man, though he looks like one there is an AI-ish component in that he seems singularly programmed for what he is doing, terminating ) – he has what looks like a small white bazooka strapped to his right forearm.
There is data in the field that tells me being a twin is something that makes people be more of a target. A man who looks similar in appearance to Danny DeVito has just been offed when Derrick comes into the scene. The gunman is now after *him. Derrick is not a twin so I am trying to figure out what is really meant by the idea of a “twin” at the same time as I am telling Derrick he has to get out of here. The gunman is not after me so I am safe, but Derrick isn’t and he is refusing to leave. I pull him momentarily through the scene into dad’s backyard.
He is calm, utterly unfettered, as he says he knew this would happen and is prepared, he has called in for emergency services–and steps back into the previous environment. I am not confident at all that who has called ( it feels mundane, like a group of paramedics ) can help him against a higher dimensional cyborg hit man. I note before shifting away that Derrick, too, has a guardian dog at all times at his side here with him.
Prior to all this, prior to have gotten up to use the bathroom—
I am in a long series of activity that leads into a shop, an eatery. There is a young man who I have been engaged with who has come in to buy himself something to eat. He is paying with a lot of pennies ( ie: change, a lot of “small change” ). I am coming in behind him and paying, instead of with a lot of small change, one large piece of change. I can no longer recall the greater dynamic that is happening around this moment due to all that has come after it.
When shifting out of this experience It is not easy to fully vacate it. There is a strong energetic that lingers for a great while, upwards of 30 minutes and it has me pinned in an in-between space where I cannot quite get through to my body enough to open my eyes. I find myself knowing it must be gradual in order to not shock my system. I am somewhat familiar with this process, it has happened before but it is far from usual to the extent at which I am experiencing it this morning. Everything that is, is embedding into me all on its own. I do not have to try to hold to any of the data. The vibrations the data is contained in are in essence what have me pinned. It all gradually seeps in. I gradually work my way fully back into physical space. The vibration finally releases me. I am back. It is safe to remove my Mindfold and open my eyes. Wow. -and what the heck?!@#$
While I was pinned I was asking questions, like >>
“What exactly am I am being told here?”
I see two important factors. The first being that we are all, at all times accompanied by our guardians/gate keepers. In dreams it is usual for me to see them as dogs. This is brought to the front of my attention in a fuller way through this experience. I will note that in the evenings I am extending my meditations to more deliberately begin the protocols to opening my vocal channel. I am following the guidance of Carla Rueckert and last night before ending my session, which went only so far as the juncture of my gatekeeper, I asked that I be made more visually clear of my own. I have not yet fully chosen my gatekeeper. So this experience clearly is beginning to speak to my request.
The last factor, in regard to what this experience is attempting to suggest to me, is in regard to my mattress, the one on which I sleep and receive these experiences. It might seem it is in need of a sage smudging. A stronger smudging than what I more normally do. — from beneath, not just the top.
I will be on that today.
May 8, 2024
Underground military lab, splicing human DNA with violent sea creatures
I am with a small group of others making our way out of an underground enclosure. It is cement lined and there is a water element that is coming up through the floors, like it is some kind sewer system. It feels like what was built down here is an underground military lab. There are all kinds of sea creatures we have to make our past who are blocking our exit. A variety of giant sea snakes, and a giant octopus or squid-like creature. At this point, to my great anguish it has already managed to consume a baby, or more regular sized cephalopod with whom I was very closely connected. I fought and fought to help it escape the giant’s grasp. I succeeded a time or two and then ultimately failed. The small group of others who are with me all appear human. They are mostly women. Are we all nurses? I learn in a moment I am a nurse.
I work my way in the dream to where I am in a room with a very attractive young man is his 30s -who I am tending to. He is lying in bed with a fever that is building. He is built athletically and is some kind of military personnel. At this point he is beginning to get up from the bed. He is dressed in only his under shorts. I ask him if he would like a pair of socks. He says he would. Most of what I find in a cabinet is very strange, very odd, it looks more like it is made of cellophane than a known material like cotton. I ask myself “isn’t there anything warmer in here?” On a bottom shelf I find something more appropriate, a grey pair of socks and hand them to the man. He asks for a t-shirt, I hand him a grey t-shirt. And pants, – a darker grey – I hand those to him as well. He is leaving, leaving while still in this condition. I know what it is but he does not yet.
He casually asks, “aren’t you going to stop me?” I would not be able to stop him if I tried. Especially if he figures out what he is -which he is beginning to. [ He is a crossbreed, he has been engineered, his DNA spliced with that of the sea creatures. The spicing, the experiment itself is not going well. ] His fever is due to the memories of what has happened rising up to the surface. These particular sea creatures have violent tendencies. I think it is what we were trying to understand. In his fever, through various scenes he begins acting out and killing people.
Following this he steps into a hotel room where there is another woman. He is beginning to emotionally collapse, he just quietly lays down and curls himself up alongside her. I think she is afraid to touch him ( but maybe not ). When I go to place a comforting hand on his head and stroke his hair I find her hand is already there. When I get up from here I notice I have gotten a bit of his blood into a very small hairline cut on the third finger of my left hand.
I begin to panic and look for a water source,—environments are collapsing into one another until I am at what appears a pharmacy area of a hospital. I see a little sink here, turn the water on full stream and while pressing as hard into the cut as possible to encourage the evacuation of any foreign serum I let the water flow over it. There is a man and other personnel behind the pharmacy windows but as I approach they are all not just being closed but barricaded from the inside. I am not going to receive any additional help. My heart is racing and I really don’t know what else to do. In my own excitation at what may be happening to me the scenes continue to collapse into one another until the hospital is a casino. I am making my way home, to the home where I grew up. ( this makes sense, in the end we all gravitate home ).
I am at the casino that was built off Decatur and Alta just blocks from the house. Jan is here. He is with another person, I think a female. He has bought her something to eat and as I begin looking for something myself he wants to buy my meal as well. It is nice of him but I get my own and pay for it myself. There is other activity going on here, I can only just barely see it now because I am shifting further forward into real time. There is something being said by a woman about a shuttle to the house. I am telling her that I just walk out the front doors and cross the street into my neighborhood. It is too close to catch a shuttle. There is no need.
May 7, 2024
Contact with Carla Rueckert, Indian bazaar ( book shops )
I went to visit, or found myself in contact with Carla Rueckert ( did she actually contact me? ). In the portion of the contact that I remember I am going to a church service with her. We are in a room that has chairs set up in rows. Carla is surrounded by a large family of people who are positioned in seats all around her. I want to give her something, a plant hanger that I am fond of, it is made of jute and stained glass windowing that is somehow embedded within the strands. She wants to pay me for it. I am telling her that is not necessary, this is something I want to give to her but she hands me a check anyway. The check reads $60. I now want to give her the matching plant hanger to this one and I go off looking for it. Carla is planted here in her chair with me regardless of where else I go. I recall a house where in another room there is a woman who is squirming around on her back. It seems odd to me but Carla is unfettered. She is like a mother to us all as we go through our processes. There are dozens of little vignettes that belong to this sequence that I have left out. This is what I can easily recall. Other areas are stinging at me as I write but not quite enough yet for me to reach into them. Following this >>
There is a lot of color, there are a lot of people, I am in bazaar in India but it is mixed with the complimentary feeling of Iran(?), Istanbul(?). I am just coming from one book shop and am heading into another. I decide I will stop here and let security know I am bringing in a book I have just purchased at the other shop. It is bound nicely and the cover is made in colors of purple and black. I show the male security person the book, placing it on the counter at which he is standing. I remove a second book from my pocket as well, which is my journal. I am letting him know these are belonging to me before I enter the shop. He is investigating the books, asking me questions. It seems like he is not going to let me proceed into the shop. I ask him if this is correct and he confirms that he is not letting me in with the books. I am not accepting this.
I look at the man and at his badge to confirm his rank is only security officer. I tell him I will be confirming his decision with the manager. At this, I find myself at another counter inside the shop behind which stands a lovely Indian woman dressed in gold. I notice now that the cover on my book is also golden, various shades of gold. “Did the security person switch my book?” I think to myself. The manager is very excited at this book and at me having it and confirms I can of course be in the shop with it. She is beginning to go into what it contains and I soon forget all about the book I had actually bought as I get swept deeper into the activities going on inside the shop. There is another person, a young man is also being discriminated against. He is being roughhoused away from the young woman he is with and the lovely manager comes to his aid as well as he being cast down some steps. She is successful at getting the activity to stop. The man, dressed in full Indian garb is standing up from the landing down the steps, straightening his clothes and turban as I begin to shift away from the scene. The feeling, I will note, inside these experiences is very, very good.
Note: GOLDEN again. Again and again and again. Interesting!
May 6, 2024
Abduction- a young girl goes missing and I enter the search
It is a fasting day and as a result I am having difficulty staying asleep until after 4am.
It takes me almost two hours to fall off at the top of the night. I fall in for one sleep cycle and find that I am visiting Doug. I round a corner leading into his space and see him standing in the kitchen in front of the fridge. It is the middle of the night. He is dressed for sleep in an undershirt, shirt and shorts. When I see the bare legs I back out of the space and from around the corner ask if he is available to talk. He tells me it will be a moment. I then find myself sitting at a table. He is standing there talking to me. At first it is about himself, he is saying “what you see is what you get.” The rest of the communication remains in my subconscious. I wake at this point.
It is 2:30am -I get up to use the bathroom and see the clock. When I lay back down I cannot easily fall off. There is something going on outside. I am hearing a sound, what I think may be a woman yelling but it is ever so slight. We have some really strange animal sounds out here at night, as it goes on I then begin to think it might be this. A half hour later, the sound increases. It IS a woman. The argument has stepped itself outside and is now much more audible. Her yelling continues for 5 more minutes and I then hear a car door close and the sound of it screech away. Not long afterward, a car comes up our drive. I can see the lights -as my window faces it. I do not hear it park or anyone get out. It turns around and drives back off. Maybe someone dropped someone off? I don’t know. An hour later I have managed to fall back off.
I have a point of observation inside a bus. Again it is the deep of night, – everywhere I am landing tonight the scene is darkly lit, as though night and the space is floor lit with white and greenish light. It is the same here. There is a commotion beginning to brew. A young girl less than 9 years of age has disappeared or been taken from the bus. From here it gets really strange. I enter an intense, determined search for her. Again, as last night, the emotion is very high and this time it is a contrast of extreme will and allowance. Much of the detail is too much for me to consciously carry but this all leads to where I am insisting with all my might for the girls return “you! will! return! her!” I am saying. When the dream finally does present her, she resembles me. She is wearing a white nightdress and has long, unmanaged sandy blonde hair. The dream goes on. The girl recedes from my awareness. It is as though the search still continues. I am led into some strange places, again too strange for me to hold in my conscious state.
The next two areas are strange as well but I do recall them— in the first there is a man who has been in the experience for some time. He is in a kind of lab. He is likely looking for the girl, too, but what I can say for sure is that he wants information. He is being made to do something for it. I watch as he steps up to a machine, onto what at its footing looks like a treadmill-like platform. He places what looks like a condom with tubing extending from it over his member. He does not know why he has to do this but he is doing it all the same. I think he must be dreaming, too. In front of him is a glass panel that extends from the floor to the ceiling and is roughly 2-3 feet wide, behind the glass is a vertical shaft of water, a fluid that contains what I can only call ‘particulate’. I can see the various sizes and shapes of the particulate and am wondering what this is. Someone is explaining the difference to me between when a substance is removed from the body and when it is being inserted —this process belongs to the latter. The thought horrifies me. The water element connects to another and then I am out on a beach.
There is a man kneeling down on the sand near enough to the shoreline that it is still wet. There are two little rectangular shaped holes that resemble shallow graves. The man is lifting out of one them an infant sized lifeform. It is so shocking to my psyche that I cannot see it in clear detail but the thing is not human ( I feel this ) and it is wearing a stark white nightdress. The man is walking it down to the water. I think I know he is going to reanimate it but at the same time I am stuck on the other second shallow cut-out and that it is empty. I keep saying in my mind “why is the other one empty? where is the other one? Is it no longer alive? why is the other one empty?” This is when I shift into the lab and see the man. Who is now finishing with this process and vacating the room with two others. These two scenes are related. I just don’t see exactly how ( though I can guess ). My mind has been blown this whole night through these sequence of events.
They are all related, they all belong to one another.
I will have to piece it together.
May 5, 2024
OBE: Incredible! -Important, Longstanding Questions Answered
Prologue
There is an energy working itself up on me lately.
It has me wondering about my past, not just as a person but as a Soul- as a result I have felt increasingly curious of and at my Ancestral lineage and my pathway to being here now in the Earth life. The Feline species ( and races ) are first to rear their head at my new inquiry. At the same time, increasingly I am feeling to return to a more formal practice. Meditating twice daily, fasting each SUNday. In the evening meditation prior to bed, prior to concluding the practice I am spending time connecting inwardly with my Group—letting them know what I am most interested in becoming more clear on and asking what I need to do to accommodate the clarity. What befuddles me most is why the vocal ( trance ) channeling does not just begin. I spend some time last night speaking with them on this subject -myself doing most all the speaking. I affirm again that from my own point of perspective I feel I am ready for more clear and steady conscious contact. The kind that stays with me in the same way that the activity of my days do. Lately I am getting pinged by a certain reminiscence of a repeating dream I had throughout my early life, prior to entering my 30s. I have a question about this which you will read in the log below. It is in reference to a gateway I frequented, and where it is I would go when I entered it. The experience I would have would carry me in my conscious state right up to the gateway, but not through it. Imagine my surprise and downright delight when ALL of this is addressed this very evening.
After waking briefly at dawn to use the bathroom I feel good for a wake-back-to-bed. It is lightly raining outside. I close my window and the bedroom door to help keep the room as insulated from outside sound as possible. I lay myself down, take George ( my clear quart healer ) into my hands and close my eyes. I am easily already in the inner fields and send of a “hello” to everyone. I ask for contact, affirming again that I feel I am ready -ready to get past an altogether familiar hurdle. Whatever level of conscious contact my Group feels I am ready for—I am opening to. As I am shifting inward I begin to feel the little ‘stings’ of the energy shifting, and of the contact I have requested- I remind myself to quickly acclimate to the changes, be calm and breathe ( although breathing at this point is no longer necessary ). I move through this process twice, repeating three times the words “highest light greatest good”. Then…..from within a very deep state I begin to see myself being led forward by two beings who look much alike.
A certain recognition is near immediate. The one directly in front and facing me looks like Chiyo, who has come through the crystal—the backdrop being just like this moment, of a blue sky filled with clouds and colorful orbs. This looks like a more grown up ( and even more human ), more accurate and true to life representation but it is him. These beings are white skinned with jet black hair ( worn in a George Norey style with the bang swept sideways across the brow ). They are dressed neck down in a white material. They appear to have no feet, we are floating through the air and the bottom of the material just comes to a wisp -somewhat ghostly, only these are no ghosts, these are legitimate beings. They are linked to the air element and their purpose may be to guide over the newly departed. The feeling and impression is that Chiyo, the being facing me has his arms and hands slightly extended out toward me, as if gesturing me to come. Mine are extended in a like fashion toward him though our hands do not actually meet. I am moving in a forward direction facing him and endeavoring to remain as consciously alert to him as I can.
The next thing I know—I am back inside my room and am waking.
Did the experience just end there? I wonder.
It could not have. While I think to myself we must be taking the day off I am synchronously recalling what else I have told my Group I am interested in knowing. It is the repeating dream I had in childhood that stopped, or that I do not recall happening after exiting my 20s.
In this dream I walk myself to a neighborhood park, Sunset park, in Las Vegas. I go to a very precise area in the park where I know there is a doorway in the ground. I open it, walk down a few steps, turn to close the door behind me then continue into the little earthen alcove that is here. Inside the alcove there is second door in the ground. When I view this experience from outside the event itself I see there is a little wooden chair that sits here to left of the door in the ground, and that it is occupied by an elder male *though I cannot say that I see this when in the actual experience. I open the second door, like someone who knows exactly what they are doing and where they are going ( and indeed as a child in this particular state of consciousness I do ) and I go through. This is where what I am conscious of comes to end. Until returning from where it is I have gone, and I re-enter the alcove door, I am aware again. I am also happy to the point of it nearly being bliss. There is a softness in my heart, a lightness in my step, a softly emanating joy that envelops me. I close the alcove door behind me, walk through the little alcove, up the steps, out the door that leads back into the park and make my way back home -to my bed -where I wake. For what may be obvious reason this is my most beloved dreamtime experience of this current lifetime.
What I am wanting to know now is where I went every time I stepped through that second door. In the same way that in this moment, relative to today and in reference to this morning, between Chiyo and reawakening I am genuinely asking,
“Where was I?”
[ It would seem my Group has worked both questions into the same answer ]
As I lay here, quite awake but near enough to the verge, without realizing, in less than an instant I seamlessly re-synch with the whole event.
It is the deep emotion that first captures me—the most exquisite, excruciating amalgamation of happiness-joy and pain. It is so thoroughly permeating me center to circumference it seems all that I am. The depth at which I am feeling is so wonderful that it hurts. And so wonder-filled that it heals. I will tell you why. I am being reunited with departed loved ones, with my ancestors and Soul ancestry. I will never be able to do the experience of this justice with words but I have just laid the foundation of it which is this deep, exquisite and excruciating amalgamation of emotion—happiness and pain. Within it I am first with my dad, my brother, Roger, his look-a-like is also here and they are cooking, getting ready to have a bite to eat. The joy and pain I am experiencing gives me no stomach to join them but I am here, almost immovable for some time as I experience the emotion and move through within myself what I am. I am approached several times. Once by my brother, once by others who are invisibly here.
The latter of the two, a female, gets me up and moving around. I might seem to be on the back patio of my brother, Derrick’s, house walking back and forth upon it with my hand held out. There is something small and brown in the palm of my hand ( my right hand ). I do not know what this is, — but it is shifting me to my Charlie ( who in my lifetime is a chocolate brown chihuahua ) and as it does I am also, in another area describing this mixture of emotion I am experiencing to the female friend here with me who does not know what this is. I am explaining it as exactly what I am experiencing, a reunion with those lost, who are greatly loved.
In the new scene I am with Charlie, who is now a turtle! He is wanting to dig his way out of an enclosure Roger has put him in. He is also covered in something resembling tomato soup. I tell Roger to just let him do this. He quickly digs his way free and once to the outside of the enclosure I pick him up and hold him in my arms. The theme of getting something to eat is still playing and I want to be sure Charlie is fed. The connection and love passing through us to one another is so complete it is without further need but in it we are still playing with the other ideas. Going to the store, buying some food, bringing it back and while sitting upright together outside by a tree getting it ready. Charlie turtle!.. he is as adorable as a turtle as he is as a dog. I am shifting from here, leaving a portion of myself in place >>
What an absolutely stunning new scene — Summerland!
From a low rolling hill at its entrance I see a large pool filled with children playing that is surrounded by green, green grass. There is a young boy ( approx. 14 ) and girl ( approx. 11 ) who are beckoning me in. Could this really be Pema and her brother, Noam? It feels like it may be. Note: I had just made a comment yesterday about entangling with Pema who is some kind of Wonder girl, athletically, who utilizes oxygen in her body in an off the scale way. Down at the pool there is a large, maybe 20 foot golden elk(?) standing just to the pool’s edge. He is translucent, I can see through him. He is not an apparition, he is real, he is just of a different light than the children who are playing in the pool. He belongs with-and-to one of the children, a young boy, who is showing the other children how he can bounce off him back into the pool. The young boy knows the elk is there but it is ( possible it is ) invisible to the rest. As Pema and Noam run down to the pool a black stallion is being thrown from it ( it is all play and divinely timed ). It comes to its feet and begins rounding upward along the path that Noam is taking down. The two come face to face. When they do, the horse instantly recognizes him and puts out his two hoofs in a gesture that is common to them from another life together. This is where humans and their animal totems reunite ( ! ). Noam is taking the hoofs in his hands as I seamlessly synch back with my room.
***
Notes: It would seem I now have an idea of where I was going as a child, and the purpose for this. It is equally surprising to me that the conscious contact ( and channeling ) my Group deems me ready for is with the departed *rather than galactics. I had honestly never even considered this. But it is perhaps why I am newly interested in learning my Ancestral history. And it is even, very likely a gateway IN to the galactics. I have this in mind now. Let’s see where it leads.
I will further note that “GOLDEN” continues to be a theme.
May 4, 2024
Golden genes, Jones Road, guidance with my iMovie program
I feel like I am naked ( ie: out of body ). I feel like I am a female. I am sitting on the ground folding 2 pairs of men’s golden jeans ( ie: genes ). There is a male in the periphery observing me. There is the idea in me of being Indigenous Indian *though this may just be my interpretation of being naked.
Some girls have put Jones Road miracle balm on a young girl who is maybe 9 years old. She is fair skinned and has long, straight blonde hair. They have applied too amply to the cheeks and I am showing the girl that because this make-up is more essentially a skin care product, a moisturizer ( its main ingredient is castor oil ) it can be applied to the whole body. I am taking the excess and applying it to her back and legs. She is like a deer, the moment the task is complete she is off.
During the majority of the bottom of the night prior to the sun rising I am with guidance going over the difficulties I have been having with my iMovie program. Note: I am having similar difficulties with iPhoto. Due to the extensive work I do with both, these programs are apt to develop problems at the 2-3 year mark of the device itself. I am not sure there is a resolution to the problems that I will be able to fix myself. Limited drive space is one of things I think is responsible for creating the problem(s). My resolution is generally to move to a new device. They just don’t seem to last very long when the graphics programs are heavily used.
May 3, 2024
Magical being, golden hued whale, wiccans, groups of four
I am on some kind boat on the water and explaining to someone the reason why none of the other boats will drive in a due North direction through the water mass we are on at present toward its event horizon, which is the threshold, the edge or shoreline of that of yet another—it is because at that juncture there is a magnificent, magical creature. We would call this creature a whale, but it is specifically this whale that I am addressing. It is ancient, its size is unlike any other and it is not the usual blue, or grey, or black or white hued, it is golden hued. As I am speaking with this person ( who I cannot see ) the boat we are on is accelerating in the due North direction.
As we begin arriving at the cusp of where the water mass we are traveling upon meets that of the other I extend myself off the front bow of the boat, reaching and stretching my arm out as far as is possible and in one fleeting, magnificent moment with the very tips of my fingertips touch the magical creature. My conscious mind, to a degree enjoys coming in on this moment. It recognizes it has experienced something similar before with the magical Hippocampus, though to a much fuller extent. With the mere brush of a touch of the magnificent golden hued whale the boat begins to pull backward as though held by a rubber band and having reached the extent of its forward capacity. My heart is in a rush from the brief but actual physical contact as my consciousness recedes from the experience. ( the awe continues on with me the rest of the night )
In the morning as I am waking I can see into two other areas of my dreaming >>
[ Wiccans ] There are four of us, we are what others call witches. We are standing in a large crater shaped area that is special to us for its magical properties. It feels in a way that we visit this site, in another that we live here, and in another that we preform certain rites here. There is also something that we protect. A steep, deep grey granite(?) rock face extends off the far end of the bowl. There is a feeling that around from it, from the point at which I am viewing is an opening into rock. The particular shade of the green mosses and grasses growing up from the ground remind me of Scotland. The four of us are somewhat aged, we have long, straight brown-grey hair and are wearing long garments. In this moment I think the rain is going to begin falling and that the crater will flood. I am asking the others if we should run to exit it.
I lose track of everyone here while in another fleeting sensation I flee to higher, safer ground- the rain is already beginning to fall. I think there is one other of us who does the same, and that the other two have entered the rock face. ( it seems right, though I cannot say for sure )
The two of us who fled upward have landed on a ledge to the outside of a vertical dirt-rock wall holding onto it by our fingertips. I am digging into the lightly packed dirt and rock, sweeping it away to create more of something to hold onto. The other two of us come to help but I say no, energetically bumping them back onto solid ground saying “it is not yet your time to die.” I do not know that it is mine either, I may work out way out of here ( mine and the other who is here with me ) but if I don’t I am not going to risk taking all of us out. Who we are and what we do here is too special and important. I am bent in my current situation to escape it—to free myself and my sister. Who seems huddled comfortably to my left, on the ledge but also more ample footing.
[ Jonathan’s day ] Again there four of us and at least two of us are male. I think I am male also and there is one female. We look like more contemporary humans and are inside an apartment. I am in the bathroom with the one that in a moment I am going to call Jonathan. He has a pinhole sized something on the back-top of his neck. It has a thick ooze coming out from it. Another of the males comes in to look. We seem to know what this is and what it means ( ultimately death ). In order to break the light tension in the room I jest. I say “I think we should make this “Jonathan day”, we will give you a massage and then we can all go out to eat.” It is the massage part that is in jest. Everyone laughs including Jonathan, who now asks “is there a color to it?” -referring to the thick ooze coming out the back of his neck. We lie to him, knowing that a color would indicate an advancement in the dis-ease. With the back of his neck still clear in my view I wipe away the large pea sized silly putty textured ooze, which is more pink than flesh toned and Jonathan walks toward the door to exit the bathroom. He is standing here now next to the other guy.
I am getting a really good look at them both right now and begin to realize, with their faces here so close together that they actually somewhat resemble each other. They are English, I think we all are -and they are gay. Jonathan is larger and a bit more roundy, but they are each fair skinned with brown hair and brown scruff for beards.. the shape of their faces is very similar. I am telling them this as I begin to recede from the scene and find myself back in my room.
The shift is so seamless it is moments before I realize.
May 2, 2024
Test: I am put in an underground labyrinth with people who are “different”
Juncture : ( scary area ) : I am released from one area of my dreaming into another— into a large inner square shaped, cement lined corridor wherein within a few steps I can feel the change in energy. At this juncture I am seeing a few random people walking through the corridor, my stomach sinks as I realize they are “different”. My conscious self is trying to figure out what they are ( “are they zombies?” I think to myself ) while my dream self knows, or at least minimally detects exactly what they are. I stop in my tracks here and hesitate entering any further. I have only a moment to decide before being detected. The task once entering is to remain as invisible as possible and blend in until I work my way through.
[ Writing this now I feel like a rat in a labyrinth being observed ]. There is much of this area that is blacked out from my immediate view but I can see where stealthily make my way through corridors, and where I try to blend in where I see a male cook at a little counter style diner. I join a trio of people here, the male cook included and find success blending in with them. There is a juncture where an older couple come through who are in a great hurry to catch a flight. They are not in these corridors but in a frequency of flow I am able to detect all the same. I return a large pink scarf to the woman that she had dropped and help them reach their flight and destiny.
I then return to my business in the corridors, half forgetting all about the couple had passed through until at some point later I am standing with a female who is passing on a reward to me for having helped them. She is handing this to me in the form of three high paying casino chips. I can’t quite figure out what they might amount to but am very thankful for the gesture. I also find myself now outside the labyrinth of underground(?) cement corridors and in the lovely house of a high end couple who seem to be bringing me on board as staff.
What my job is here I cannot quite tell—but I am staff, a worker. There are some difficulties in this. For one, the husband seems to think I should know the household and names of all the rooms the moment I get here. For a second, there are dogs here who require my attention, my Charlie included, who in a sense are distraction from my actual job, whatever that is. For a third, I have not surrendered even an ounce of my independence and easily leave the household to retrieve Charlie and another dog from another location *which I think is where we actually live. There are moments where it feels I am going to be let go.
When I arrive at our own house, Charlie is already fending for himself, finding his own meal.
He has a bird near to his same size in a bear grip between his arms and legs and is squeezing the life out of it. I am caught between the idea of whether to stop him or let him continue as I am beginning to wake. I am leaning toward not interfering.
May 1, 2024
Living in tents, clandestine meeting
[ Living in tents ] In the moment I am seeing into, Darr and I are living in an olive green tent. For some reason we think this is a really good idea. We each have our own tents, I think, but their ideas are somewhat superimposed. There is the idea of clearing her space of what she does and does need as space inside the tent is limited. There is a small, half dome shaped pillow she uses at a juncture between two foam pads she is using as her bed. There is someone here with me who wants to remove this item from the tent not knowing what it is and I am telling them it is an important item, explaining how it is used and why. Throughout the experience I had though our tents were out in nature but right before the experience ends I hear this horribly loud cacophony of human sounds and wonder if we have made a mistake.
[ Choice, colors, fruit, smoothie ] I see a random bit where I am making a smoothie with every kind of frozen fruit we have available. The little bullet-like blender carafe is really full. Lil walks by and wonders at it. I tell her there is actually quite a bit of space left in there because the frozen fruit isn’t falling evenly into the cup. I reach into the fridge where I see multiple almost empty bags of blueberries. I am going to put these into the drink as well.
[ Clandestine meeting ] It is night. I am parallel parked at the left side of a road. I watch as a man in a black suit exits the car behind me, walks over to the car in front of me and basically orders him to leave, to move his vehicle out of here. There is a certain feeling of entitlement here. It is a cross between the idea of something going down and no witnesses being desired and that of the man and his car not being high enough up the food chain to be here in the first place. I think all the cars ( which are all black cars ) here are chauffeurs. I continue watching as the man in the black suit walks back to his vehicle and then in somewhat of a rush, as the other man is pulling out, find that I am in the back seat of his vehicle talking to him. My conscious mind comes in, “how in the world did I get here in the back seat of his car? wow!” I am trying to figure this out as the dream me is saying to driver that we can meet somewhere else to disclose our information. I am telling him to meet me nearby, at the lounge at the Santa Monica airport. He is asking questions about the exact meeting spot, I am describing it and telling him he will see and/or figure it out not a second before the shift takes me wholly out of this experience.
the galactic travel channel 