Prologue

Coming off the intensity of survival based dreams last month I am feeling off, not well in my energy. I am getting migraines, related nausea and feel general malaise. We are having an explosion in the mosquito population here in California and due to the weather still being quite warm, even now in December still shorts and t-shirt weather – I am getting repeatedly, extensively bit all throughout the month. The bites take a long time to heal and appear almost as dark scars all up and down my legs and feet. I wonder if at least some of what I am feeling is not from this.

The month concludes when the day after Christmas I am bowled over by two ( of our family ) dogs. I got injured, my right knee, what was my good knee took the hit. I am on crutches for the duration, unable to bare weight at all on one leg. I’ve had to pause looking for work.

In the dream realm it is an eclectic month. There are a few symbols rising up that seem important. The first is backyards. The next, pain. The number four ( 4 ), either as a configuration, or geometry, or type of math is beginning to present and show itself to me more regularly. But front and center stage, appearing boldly all throughout the month is >>

GIANTS. GIANTS and more GIANTS.

….

….

Dream Titles

• Superimposed backyards, another giant, meaningful hug
• Refreshed and rebalanced on the verge of ‘here’ and ‘there’
• Entering a record of a moment in time — Canadian Royal House
• Day residue, mind stuff
• Luggage, airport, plane explosion
• A long escalator – land, sea and sky, a man who talks with God
• Dissonant frequencies, PAIN, eternal night, an internal oath to keep something hidden within me from the dark
• Robyn, Elvis Presley, an itch that just has to be scratched
• Bridget Nelson, stay over ( on board ship ), tainted food, alive eye shadow
• Another contact, another experience on the table, another message
• A repeating dream I have had since childhood, no actual details
• Symbolic field, black cat, a message trying to get through to me
• Feeling off, taking a break to investigate; upper house, speed running
• The sensation of connection, a dark time in history, interesting contacts
• Another giant, inner collaboration I can’t get out of
• Etheric projection, preventing more mosquito bites
• Giant *yet another, super tall human looking woman, ‘blue’ jeans ( genes
• Away from home, no sleep, up and down at various intervals all night
• The San Diego beach boardwalk in the future ( walled in, armed militia )
• Approached by a king and addressed as Jesus on the celebratory day Christ is born
• Yoga, sexually aroused, young boy rapidly ages in a day to become a molecular biologist
• Time with a therapist, four issues are being dealt with
• Two teachers, appeal and advocacy for young boy, a meeting of my family line
• Previous work, past cords, acupressure point, – fox

….

December 31, 2023

Previous work, past cords, acupressure point, – fox

Note: Yesterday, IRL, an ex-coworker from my last care job called to let me know she had been let go. I told her I was glad she was out of there, that we both did our time, and what we could do to help, BUT something is really wrong with that place -too many negative attachments creating chaos and it is for the best that we both are not there/subject to it any longer. In the night, early this morning I find that in the dreamtime I am back in that house. Or more specifically, with the female of the couple who lives there. In that heavy narcissistic energy.

There is a ton of activity, all care work activity, the details of which I no longer recall. There is care staff all over the place [ note: this household went through more than 20 new staff members just in the last year alone ] -at one point I realize there are four of us here all at the same time. I go up to J. and ask her if she wants to send any of us home. She asks why she would do that. I tell her because she will be paying salaries for all four of us otherwise. She does not let any of us go. 

There is one noteworthy incident that happened in this scenario I wish to log >>

While walking somewhere just outside the property I see a small fox, more the size of a mouse than a fox but a fox all the same. I suppose I feel it may get hurt in the footpath so I pick it up to move it to a safer area in the grass. No sooner do I pick it up, though, than it bites down hard in the space between the thumb and forefinger of my left hand. It bites down really hard. So hard that even in the dream, it hurts. I have to struggle with the little fox quite significantly to get it to release its grip. And when I do I have to find just the right way, or flash of a moment in which to set it down -without throwing it down before it bites me again.

The fox has a reddish coat with white down the chest. It is cute as can be.

I have no idea why it was impelled to bite me,

But I suspect it was to help.

December 30, 2023

Two teachers, appeal and advocacy for young boy, a meeting of my family line

Two teachers come into view, one male one female, when I become interested in what they are saying. The male teacher is speaking in reference to a young male student—the teacher is writing him off as being useless to their larger societal structure. I look toward the young boy and see a child, much like as when I myself was raised who is far more innocent and carefree than contemporary children who are monitored closely and have every minute their day mapped and scheduled. This is a child who will not easily meld into that mold, nor even at all. He is curious and leisurely follows his own curiosity. As I myself did as a child of the 60s-70s.

I sit down with the two teachers and begin to address them, notably the male who seems far more sternly indoctrinated than the female. I cite the differences to him between how things are now and how they were in times past. I am bent toward showing him that the way things are now is not necessarily for the best. After I feel I have shown this through my weaving of words, I continue to venture even further into how the current ways are to prepare the children of today for a merging with AI. I am getting quite heated at this point in my oration.

The scenes are beginning to fall one into another now. 
I am shifting back into others I am moving through which contain additional bits of data. 

A  backyard -which at some point in time is that of a house in which I actually lived/grew up. I think it must be the Providence Lane house. Regardless, it is all very different now. I see this as I look through the side gate out toward the houses across the street. The neighborhood is more landscaped and upgraded—there is the feeling of another place and time. In the backyard there is what I think is human feces in a variety of areas. I begin to feel it is no longer a safe place to be. As scenes rise and fall from within this one I begin to see into where I am sitting on a strange looking combo toilet/commode and only being able to poop a 1” x 1” chestnut colored ball of poop. In the other area, with the teachers, the female and I are becoming friends. She is a fair skinned, fair haired woman in her early 30s. We are a planning a night out to meet for drinks.

Wake to use the bathroom.—put on my mindfold, back to bed >>

The scenes, still shifting seamlessly in and out of one another,
now have a deeply surreal feeling to them. 

I am seeing as though through a light mist that fades to the circumference of my vision as I look more intently into anything that captures my attention. There is a high, elder yogi sitting in an auditorium across the way, two others accompany him on either side. Erich walks from my left across my field of view toward them. Something the high yogi has said he is trying to hear better, he is now standing directly to the front of them. A conversation is taking place.

Something I seem to know from my vantage is that person, the high yogi, is not who he is saying he is —he is an imposter. Another thing I ( fail to ) realize ( directly in this experience but do realize as I am shifting out of it ) is that as I stand here looking in on this I am wearing and seeing through my mindfold. This is true for the remainer of this whole event. The scenes shift to Erich’s yoga room, to the idea that it is video monitored and surveilled.

I am seeing and realizing that every time I was there I could be seen. Now I see someone ( Erich? ) watching me sleep. It is something to do with an innocence in me that makes who this is want to see. I am positioned on my back with my head falling off to the left. The bedding is all white *as it very often is in IRL. Now I am walking into the living room of an apartment, or it may be a bedroom, both ideas are present. My nephew, Steven, is here. He does not look wholly like himself but I know it is he. I walk in, sit down and say hello to him. He responds to me -which is different than with the others who are here who is non-responsive toward. There is a meeting taking place.

I see, as though from another scene in another place, my Mom walking through a doorway. 

She is dressed in all black, has frizzy chestnut colored hair pulled up back away from her face. I have seen this before, and have the same thought as before, “she looks so much like Sandy, ( my sister ), when presenting in this way.”

This is all I can see.

December 29, 2023

Time with a therapist, four issues are being dealt with

Therapist. female. She sends me to four places. All very abstract. The first is identified by simply “P.”. I know exactly what and where it is. There is a male who I meet and am speaking with nearing the end of this sequence. I am confessing who the female is, that I ( I of all people ) have been seeing a therapist. Before I wake I see a vague abstract of me sitting on the lap of a married man. It feels wrong and uncomfortable and I get up and move off elsewhere into the abstract.

December 26, 2023

Yoga, sexually aroused,
young boy rapidly ages ( in a day ) to become a molecular biologist

Yoga class, Suryanamaskar, excitation. The yoga room starts off with just the 3 of us practicing. As I am telling this to someone male the room begins to fill with dozens more people. I am guiding people through simple postures then ask if everyone would like to keep going and conclude the class with Sun Salutations. I begin guiding the flow, for some reason emphasizing the parts where the palms come together in a prayer position when the male I had been speaking with comes up to me and places a finger on my clitoris. I do not stop the posture flow or stop him. I continue in this odd situation and titilated energy sensation.

Young boy rapidly ages to become a molecular biologist. Sometime later in the dream sequence I find a young boy underneath a crawl space area beneath me ( like under the sofa ). He appears less than 1 year of age and is wearing nothing but a little underpant. He looks East Indian with his tanned skin and dark hair. I pick him up to carry him somewhere to show someone but in the process, what seems less than a day or two he begins aging into a middle-aged man in his 50s. Data tells me he is an advanced kind of scientist, something like a molecular biologist, what he is here to do is beyond my understanding, though. This is the closest I can come to what it is.

December 25, 2023

Approached by a king and addressed as Jesus on the ( celebratory ) day Christ is born

Note: I am still away from home. One of my brother’s dogs was having a hard night and would not let me sleep until sunrise -at which point, exhausted, I fell off hard. 

I enter this scenario that I cannot find my way through, I cannot back my way out of it or find my way forward. I have two purses which I have left somewhere and by the time I make my way to them they have been gone through and many items seemingly taken; my wallet, items within it, my phone, etc.. I am trying to find who has them so I can retrieve them and move on. In the process I run into Lu, who has had the same thing happen to her. She seems real flat about it and ultimately does not want to work with me in finding our lost items. There are many interactions in many areas of the scenario, with a male security officer, with an attractive young man who I do not get a good feeling from. Through it all I am not getting anywhere. This is when, in an energy of great confusion/frustration/exhaustion I see a man approaching me >>

He is tall, easily greater than 6.5’, light haired, visually 40-45 years of age. He is not dressed as such but I know this man is a king. He steps up to me, meets my gaze and with the greatest love says “every time I see you I am so deeply impressed by you, Jesus.” — he calls me Jesus. ( he calls me Jesus on the ( celebratory ) day Christ is born ). Hearing this I drop everything and emotionally break down, I stand here head bowed and sobbing. It is an immense release of all that is unwanted from my system. Something powerful has just happened in this brief interaction. It could be it is the day this Light has just been more fully born in me.

I am tired as I wake just a few short hours after having falling off. BUT >>

I’ve a feeling something miraculous just happened.

December 24, 2023

The San Diego beach boardwalk in the future ( walled in, armed militia );
my toe ring is taken off me

This is a very long experience but because I am woken on a dime with a literal inner THUMP, I recall mainly just this last portion of it— I am at the San Diego pier in the future. Where shops and kiosks were once all out in the open air, they are now being boarded, or walled in and there is futuristic neon-ish green and purple light illuminating the whole area. I am walking with my grandmother and another younger female, we are discussing what is, or may be happening with the areas being walled in as we pass by on the boardwalk. Then we are inside. There is an area where a small cave-like or cavernous structure is that we walk inside. 

There is an archeological feeling to what my G and the other female are doing. There is something they are investigating. As they do, I begin to notice the inside “walls” and ceiling of the space, which is nicely lit, although I do not know from where. The whole area is bright. As I begin to look at the clear “walls” and low ceiling overhead, not only can I see through them but I also begin to see fish. It hits me fast that they composed of water ( “water!” I think to myself, “but how?” ). I now realize the whole structure is made of water and it has somehow disfigured, or displaced itself to form this cavern we could walk into. I run out of here, screaming in toward my G and the other girl to get out of there. I somehow know this whole thing could come down on us in an instant. They do come out to see what has me so riled, but even after I explain it to them they go back in to continue their investigating. Moments after they do, the structure begins to collapse into itself and the water to fall. They make it out of there just in time.  

We continue walking along what is now ( rather than the outside boardwalk ) this indoor, walled in corridor. It is lit with the same futuristic feeling, neon-ish green and purple light as before. There are armed men at close intervals, some people are not making it through here. Once I see them, one of the armed men begins calling “hey you!, you, yeah you.” It looks like he is looking at me so I say “who, me?” It turns out it was someone directly behind me, who I didn’t even know was there but because I have now drawn attention to myself he calls me over, too. 

There is missing data -the next thing I see is that I am in my car.

I am in the driver’s seat and some others, including the armed ( militia ) man who is in the passenger seat are here as well. I feel something happening on the fourth toe of my left foot. The man has reached down there and removed one of the toe rings I wear IRL. I do not wear it on my fourth toe, I wear it on my second, but he has it now. He is placing it high up on his forefinger and saying he is going to keep this now for some reason I no longer remember. I seem to be perfectly fine with this. I am smiling and saying “yeah, alright.”

Immediately after this I am jolted by a big inner THUMP that throws me in an instant back into physical space. It is hard and fast. A pretty significant jolt.

I have no idea what has just caused it.

December 23, 2023

Away from home, no sleep, up and down at various intervals ALL night

Comically the worst night of ( no ) sleep in my life. I am away from home, I didn’t fall off until after 2am, the dogs are waking me nearly every hour thereafter and I have never had to pee so much and so often as I have this night. No idea where it is all coming from. I don’t think I slept more than 15-20 minutes at a stint until I finally got up around 10:30am.

December 22, 2023

Giant ( yet another ), super tall human looking woman, ‘blue’ jeans ( genes

She is a super tall 9’ woman in high heals. She is walking up to me and stops beneath a palm tree *her head is literally touching the tree leaves. She is full figured and wearing snuggly fit jeans. Her hair is short, wavy, thick and medium blonde. She is with another female who is not quite as tall. I ask her to sit down so I can speak with her. In another area—a man tells me I look good in my top, I look down to see it is the same pajama tank as I am wearing in my bed IRL. This surprises me, I am not pleased at the comment. Looking back on this now, I am sure he is trying to get me to come alert but instead I take exception to the comment and its sexual innuendo.

December 21, 2023

Etheric projection, preventing more mosquito bites

In the night I can feel all the mosquito bites all over my legs ( IRL ). I think this follows me into my dreams. It seems someone ( male ) is here with me bedside, either making me look deeper into this – or – having a spot of fun with my most recent struggles. I can’t quite tell which. BUT, in any/either event the sensation of the experience is pleasant to me. This is often the case in experiences like this one, wherein there is a connection of some sort in play. It doesn’t seem to matter to me if the orientation is [ + ] or [ – ], the underlying connectivity itself is always nice. Anyway. It is a kind of etheric projection. I am in my bedroom, in bed, trying to hide my legs from the damned mosquitos. I see at one point I have many of them on my legs. I am trying to find the best way to get them off. I am handed a small brush head, this seems to work far better than just my hand, not just to get the mosquitos off me, but somehow keep them off better as well. This is all I can see.

Note: the main energy I am connecting with in etheric projections is the etheric field itself. So. pleasant. to experience. I wonder why exactly this is.

Connectivity just in itself is such an intriguing thing.

December 20, 2023

Another giant, inner collaboration I can’t get out of

There is a giant thing outside, a giant of a man. We cannot leave -we run from it back inside, more than it chases us. While inside this place I am speaking with a young  man. An older man associated with lucid dreaming / the OBE arrives at some point later. When he does I realize I am half undressed ( topless, ie: half out of body ) and get myself dressed while the other two talk. I try to join the conversation but cannot get in. Can they even see me? hear me? It doesn’t seem so. Other scenes are rising and falling like waves within this one. I can’t quite grasp onto one enough to see into it in any detail. The men are heading out again. I follow them outside. The giant man-thing is still here, approaching as if from the woods. I tell the men we have to get back inside again. We barely get through the door before the giant is on our doorstep.

December 18, 2023

The sensation of connection, a dark time in history, interesting contacts

It is a very active dream state tonight.

I am aware of the dreams *as I am dreaming and they are all staying with me. It is way too much information to bring back with words in entirety but there are highlights and things that stand out. The first is that throughout them all the environments are dingy and dark. However, contrasting this, sooo beautifully contrasting this is the underlying, deeply permeating sensation of connection that plays out through the scenes with multiple others—a man who looks like Burt Reynolds as we hug, a baby elephant who is lightly pink ( like a newborn piglet ) and has soft gossamer hairs that are a pastel green, rather than blue hue like the rest of its group, and lastly a fluffy orange baby cat who I have laid down on the beach with and am cuddling.

My whole body, back in the bed is humming at the same frequency of the dream and these connections. It is what is keeping the dreams all with me all through the night. I do not want to break it come morning. I never want to break it, I could lay here in it quite literally forever. — this is how I used to always dream, with this underlying sensation of feeling-vibration. It is so good that I have been allowed to revisit it today.

The night started out in a sensation of fear, being chased, hunted by a female wraith-like creature. She appears human enough, is petite, fair skinned with long, straight white-blonde hair. She is most certainly a creature, though. Wraith-like is accurate. Angry at me, she is.

She is accompanied by 3 animals, I never can tell if they are more feline or more canine -they are likewise all white. The way she moves with them is unnatural, it is not linearly through time as I myself, they almost seem to fast forwards through areas then pop in. She catches me in no time flat, even though I had a significant lead. In the beginning she was chained but it did not take her long to escape them. Rather than continue this dream in fear I do something that astounds even me. I stop and turn to face her. I ask point blankly if she will help me, rather than go on hindering my progress. To my amazement she agrees. It is a very dark time in our history I am moving through. I am reminded of the time of the witch trials. 

There are a lot of people out walking up the street, a dirt road, all dressed in mostly browns. There are what seem hundreds of them. I almost can’t get through without being bowled over, they are focused, intent on something that is happening up ahead. It seems like some kind of annual ceremony to a high female deity. It is around this area, around this time, in my work as a servant that the man who looks like Burt Reynolds hugs me. People are funneling by in the other direction. An older man of a higher station comes by and says this has better not happen again. We do not care what he has said at all and continue our friendly embrace. 

My 3 brothers come into this collage sometime later. The main thing about this particular set of scenes is a moveable water closet where I aim to take a shower. It is set up on a wooden chest at the moment. I notice the wood beneath the cabinet is water damaged and beginning to give way. I am inquiring about why the boys use this here. I move it down to the ground, to a convenient area off my room. There are endless, seemingly random conversations and actions. I say to my eldest brother, “I haven’t been down to your home yet”, meaning where he lives with his family. He tells me it is in bad enough shape that I wouldn’t want to.

Scenes are all coming in and out of one another in no real order. 
The majority I have not yet even mentioned,

BUT

There is the contact with what looks like the soft pink, green gossamer haired baby elephant. There is a conversation going on that is helping me see he is different than the rest of the group of them, which are soft blue haired. We all appear to be standing in the black ( the void ). This is all I recall of this event. Then I somewhere else. Ground level again. The scenes are dingy. I am with some people inside some kind of living structure. This is where I come to see the kittens. I pick the one up. Then I am walking. There are some others around me but I cannot see them. In the dream I could but I don’t now. I just feel myself holding the kitten and see that we are approaching the beach. I pick a spot to sit down on the sand with him. We are playing. Then I recline onto my back and hold the kitten belly up in the crook of my left arm. His nails are sharp, I am periodically feeling them pierce me in various places. He has a paw around the top of my right forefinger and is squeezing. I begin to feel this sensation from the bed. Along with the whole body frequency feeling of the connection. —and gradually begin shifting more toward physical space. 

There are other people on the beach around us. A few young girls and a young man. 

They are beginning to interact with us as I am waking.

December 15-16, 2023

Feeling off, taking a break to investigate; upper house, speed running

Note: I have been feeling really off for weeks now.  There is something happening I can’t quite put my finger on yet. I just don’t feel wholly myself. I am not a nervous, scared or anxious type of person, in fact these things are near to wholly absent from my energy. Two Thursdays in a row now something has happened. <— I briefly logged it here. In the night as I am going to sleep and in the morning, transitioning between dream and wake I can really feel it. The more usual feeling of “me”, my energy, is off. It is maybe something like exposed nerves. I feelnervous, scared?, lightly anxious. It is maybe more my body, than I, but it is pervasive. It is way off from normal. And there is more in there that doesn’t seem right. There is a hurting, a pain. I feel it in the transition, my mind goes to it the second that it can, so immediately that my dreams are left in the wake. This clearly requires my attention so I think I will just follow it for a time *rather than continue to embed dream data. I will log what otherwise naturally lingers, but other than this I will be taking a break. 

Yesterday what stayed with me was a man building a log wall, or house, in the air above me. There are some logs which I feel I want to remove/replace. Then tonight, I am in the dark, it seems night, I am playing at periodically running really fast ( speed running ) in the midst of something I am doing. It is humorous to me, doing this. I am lighthearted about it and it flows easily into the activity I am involved in. I am talking with someone as I do this but I cannot see who.

December 14, 2023

Symbolic field, black cat, a message trying to get through to me

I am moving through a field of symbols, no story line, just symbol after symbol. It does feel as though I am being told something, which I have maybe somewhat put together by the end *as I am waking. What I can see most clearly is a black cat. It looks old, so old that it near to resembles an old tattered doll/play toy. Its fur is very short and its face flat. It is speaking to me in what I come to realize are English words. One of the words is water, which makes me think it is thirsty. So I begin to try to get the cat some water. Nothing I am trying is working.

I see stacks of to-go type soup cups but when I pick them up they have pin holes poked into the bottoms and sides. I reach in a cabinet for a cat dish but it has been put away dirty and try as I may, I can’t seem to get it clean. Derrick and Elissa are both in this experience. I see Derrick as the one who put the dish away on a top shelf without cleaning it, and Elissa as someone who can help me get my fingers unstuck from the masses of green-ish goo I have managed to get stuck all over my fingers. I cannot manage to even pull my fingers apart.

Another word that comes out of the cat is “tomato”—and by the end of this whole experience I am beginning to glean that what I am being told has to do with the biting fly-things outside that are getting me every time I go to water my tomato plants. I need to do something about them before they move in further. Before I wake I see myself dusting the drive, the rock wall and tomato plants with DE ( diatomaceous earth ). I am getting further instruction on this until I am finally more in my room than in the scene. Note: not long after waking I am realizing I am not feeling well. I sure hope I am not coming down with anything.

December 13, 2023

A repeating dream I have had since childhood, no actual details

Well …..my sleep is all over the place, as are my days – everything is just a jumble right now with no clear schedule. It is the added task of the job search which is doing this. I just never quite know how a day ( or week ) will actually go. Due to all this my dreams, as I am waking, are really hard to hold onto, and because of the job search I am not feeling the opening to do added ‘wake-back-to-beds’, which is truly where I get the bulk of my information these days. This said, I could see my dreaming at multiple times throughout the night. Though all I recall of it now is that it was a repeating dream. One I have had since my very early years. And the thought that it seems to come up when I have a decision to make. Generally regarding school, or work. Perhaps this will arise for me again in the coming days. I feel motivated to report more on it.

December 11, 2023

Another contact, another experience on the table, another message

At 4:40 AM ( IRL ) a car comes up our drive.

This wakes me because its occupants are laughing loudly and speaking Spanish. Our house does not sit on the street like most others, there is a long driveway from the street you have to take to get back to the house, so generally this type of thing does not happen. I make note of the time and when I go back in I have a dream that someone has 1 ) moved the tomato plant I am growing outside, and 2 ) stolen all of the actual plant save one long stem that holds one large beefsteak tomato which, unlike IRL is now red rather than still green. I am not happy about this in the slightest, I am sad and missing the rest of the plant, which are actually two plants, one beefsteak one cherry grown together in the same extra large pot. They were doing so well.

The whole area out front is very interesting in that a lot of indoor things seem to be out here. While I look around to see if anything else has been taken I am speaking to someone I cannot see. There is an area of the drive down closer to the street where Erica’s office items are all set up. On the desk are 5 full checkbooks, with some of the checks already made out / signed. It does not appear as though any of this has been tampered with. As I bring this to the attention of the one I am speaking with I am wondering why my tomato plant would be taken and not the checkbooks. “Maybe it was not in the more actual sense stolen” I begin to think. I walk back up the driveway and begin to see some peculiar things. There are some arial phenomena I can’t quite wrap my mind around.—but I am looking closer and trying.

One of the things I see is about 12 feet up, a water feature device that is rigged to something else that is up here. I wonder if the new place the tomato pot has been moved to is close enough to catch a bit of the overflow. No sooner do I think this than I see the whole rig relative to the tomato pot and a highly unusual behavior of the water, gravitationally speaking—it is flowing sideways as though pulled by a vortex to where some of the overflow of water is indeed getting pulled into my tomato pot. I am feeling much better about it being moved to where it now sits. Throughout all this activity I am continuously speaking to the someone here with me. I still cannot see who it is. We have gotten aboard a small lift, a flat device we stand upon that takes us up into the air. We are going somewhere in particular but I do not cognize where.

When we get there I find I am laying horizontally suspended upon something. The someone I am with has gotten up from a similar apparatus to my right, I think to show me how to get up from it myself. This whole segment is very challenging to see cohesively, there is so much of it that is beyond my ability to comprehend. But there are these two flat alloy plates, to the right and left of me respectively that I can place my hands upon and that somehow allow me to shift my orientation from horizontal to vertical. I feel a sensation like that of wearing a long sleep shirt which in the horizontally suspended position feels is leaving the whole under side of me exposed. It takes me a moment to see how I feel about this, ultimately arriving at that I don’t really care. Eventually I do get myself up from this position.

Beyond here I cannot see, and even this is just a snippet of what actually happened. 

As I am parting from the event, clearly a contact event, there is the all too familiar energetic of what message I am being left with. Visually – now – I am looking at sand. I see something moving. It is two small inch long sand worms identical in size and color, a soft creamy beige and white. As I look at them it begins to appear that one is preparing to eat the other. I am shocked. I have the momentary hopeful thought that maybe this is incorrect, maybe they are preparing to mate. The thought is squashed as the one indeed begins to wholly consume the other.

Now there are two more again. This time it is the same looking worm as before next to a much larger black thing that looks like it could still be in the worm family. It consumes the other worm whole. Now there is movement again. >>

I cannot make out exactly what I am seeing -pitted next to the large black thing. It is grey. It is pointed out to me that it is a bird holding a newborn in the crook of its left wing. I move in closer, to where rather than seeing things as though in a petrie dish ( ie: from too close up and/or far away ) I am seeing more as I usually do. I see the soft grey colored bird with its colorful pastel underbelly. I see its little offspring. The large black thing is beside it, it is nowhere near the bird’s size at first but this is changing. The mother sets its baby free to walk around and explore heading in the direction away from the black slug-thing, but it seems to me almost as though to see if its attention will go towards it and not herself —like a survival move.

Neither are running, they are moving in a normal fashion, when the baby gets a certain distance from the mom she turns her back on the black slug-thing and begins moving in the direction of her fledgling, keeping it always within 2 or so feet of her. In this uncertain moment, not wanting anyone to get devoured, I place myself between the slug-thing *which has grown in size and the birds. I am not food so there is no concern for myself. I am ensuring, in fact insisting on the safe departure of the two birds. In this energy-message, positioned so, I transfer to my room. 

Is it my behavior and response to this dynamic my visitors wished to observe?

Did I leave them with a parting message of my own?
( I think I did )

December 9, 2023

Bridget Nelson, stay over ( on board ship ), tainted food, alive eye shadow

Old futuristic ( almost post-apocalyptic ) metal and concrete environment. Crowded. *could actually be a ship? Bridget Nelson is here in this experience. I am working a stay over with her in her private room, I use the excuse that I will not be able to get any actual sleep in the common area. The details of our interaction are very challenging for me to hold onto, I make it back with only bits and pieces. While we are talking, in her space, there is a plate of what I know is tainted food on a bun. I nibble at it myself for her. She takes the plate of food into a commons and replaces it with another. The people here, behind the counter and elsewhere are wild looking, brightly colored hair, make-up and face paints. They are all young-ish, in their 20s and 30s. We both go back to her room where I eat half of the new plate of food for her, too ( it also, I feel is tainted ). 

There is another moment that really stands out. I have what looks like a compact in my hand, a small round container with what I want to call alive eye shadow inside. I see swirls of color,  blue-green and cream contents bubbling and swirling around like material in a petrie dish. I see this prior to knowing that this “make-up” is going to be put on me and my hair is going to be done. —These details I can see clearly even all these days later. A lot of the feeling of it has stayed with me, too.

December 8, 2023

Robyn, Elvis Presley, an itch that just has to be scratched

Another uncomfortable night -but not as much so as the last. I can recall only a moment in which I look up in the scene to see canopied overhead is a beautiful mosaic tile in blue and white. When I look back down I am in a scene with Robyn and two other females. I hear Elvis Presley music playing in the distance and am momentarily excited he is near again and I will get to see him. There is something going on with Robyn. She has an itch down her right side meridian from the hip toward the knee. —This is all I could bring back with me today.

December 7, 2023

Dissonant frequencies, PAIN, eternal night,
an internal oath to keep something hidden within me from the dark

It is all I can do to even write this one ( I really don’t want to ).

I had a really awful night. Something began coming on me late afternoon, around 5-6 o’clock, I don’t know what it was, I just started feeling internal general pain through my whole body. I noticed my heart was racing earlier, and it was racing still, and all through the night. It was like my body all on its own had gone into some kind of panic mode.

Nothing I tried would calm it down.
I could not sleep.

I tossed and turned most the night until the very early morning with extensive head pain and what felt like a skewer through my right eye. My whole body felt assaulted. So strange, I don’t even know how to describe the sensations. But I guess it was in some way like getting hit with damaging frequencies. I felt neuropathy type sensations through my feet, which really hurt *this is always incredibly uncomfortable. It is hard to describe, not quite pins and needles, not quite like feet hung over a fire, more internal than this. My eyes cried all on their own over the pain the body was going through. I could only toss and turn, and moan my way through the night. When I did fall off it was not deeply enough to escape the extreme discomfort. 

As I woke a few short hours later, the scenes were really awful. It is the deep of the night, or maybe it is just eternal dark and the area is filthy and full of horror.  The ground is dirt and the air is filled with the smell of sweat and blood. There are abandoned animals, stray cats mostly and also dogs in this hut of a building. A man dressed much as perhaps a medieval laborer, someone who maybe works with metal over a fire is within my range of sight. He is a distorted man, without even an ounce of feeling and to my horror he is calling the cats to him one by one.

They do not have it them to evade the man as he is a source of what little food is available to them, until, as now, he calls each forth, lifts them onto a wood slaughtering block and slams a large hammer down over their poor bodies. The depravity is sickening.

How a person could exist in such a state as this is beyond my ability to recon. I just want out of here. I feel sick to the very bottom of my stomach.

I surface from this for just a short time *I still do not feel well, I feel just as I have all night and fall in and out of consciousness most of the day/afternoon. Later, when I go back under for an extended period of time I am again in what seems an eternal night. The backdrop is black. There are a few others here, all male. I, too, may be male, I cannot tell. There is something I am meant to house, to keep hidden within myself ( /within my own house ). The agreement feels much like an oath. Those of us I can see are all wearing black hooded cloaks. There is a winged creature that at one point is flying over me. I am hunched down low to the ground and another male being, also capable of flight, flies over me to assist with something up ahead. I could see what this is in the dream but cannot see this far at the moment I am making this log. I can feel that he is more advanced, more skilled, more powerful than me, and see that he is engaged in helping me. 

As I surface from this experience the head and body pain is still present.

The skewer through my right eye prevents me from seeing more.

I will sleep again soon.

December 6, 2023

A long escalator – land, sea and sky, a man who talks with God

In the more surface area of my dreaming I am trying out backpacks. In a deeper level I am driving in the car. Then I am walking. Going down an extremely long escalator toward where the land meets the water. I think there is a boat parked down there. Coming back up the escalator someone asks me if I am okay. “Why wouldn’t I be?” I wonder as I ask. There is someone else on the escalator in front of me, a woman. ( it is all a blur as I go by ). The next thing I can see is a group of 3 people. There is a man and a woman standing, and another man, blonde, face tanned and aged, on his knees with a book in his hands reciting words with extreme focus. His eyes are closed and it would seem an incredible amount of energy is running through him. He is preparing to talk directly with God. It is for the young woman who is standing here. The other man is an aide, and is someone who also talks directly with God. The exact reason this is all for I can no longer see. It is an intense scene. I can feel the weather in the atmosphere build, as with closed eyes and repeating the words skyward the energy begins circulating through the blonde man powerfully. 

December 5, 2023

Luggage, airport, plane explosion

As I am waking it is still night in the dream fields and I am heading for the airport. 

I have my luggage in tow, guidance over my right shoulder behind my line of sight and a small group of people I am meeting up ahead who are already by the plane. There is a conversation going on about my luggage, I see someone who has a much larger suitcase. I like it, I am wondering how well I would be able to navigate with a pack that large. I begin manifesting luggage of various size including the much larger one which I have made black. I begin walking like a woman ( ie: with hips that sway ) while rolling it perfectly upright from behind me. I think I am managing it just fine and have a smile on my face. I am talking with someone behind the scene about my ‘tortoise shell’ ( hard exterior ) luggage, there is something I am not finding so perfect about it, it doesn’t expand so well. In the meantime down in the scene my luggage is laying on the floor and has come open. I sweep down there, begin fitting all the items, closing it up and running for the plane.

As I begin sliding back into physical space I see the plane in the air >>

I am thinking to myself it would not be a bad way to die, it would be near instantaneous—as the air floods out of it and the plane explodes.

December 4, 2023

Day residue, mind stuff

Today, the instant I woke my mind went to all the survival stuff; this immediately covered over all my dreams. I could not get back in. – my mind stayed plastered in a pattern going over all the things I have been learning and making preps for ( ack ). Not. acceptable. I will begin taking measures to help ensure this does not repeat.

Log out.

December 3, 2023

Entering a record of a moment in time — Canadian Royal House

After yesterday, back to business >>
[ though I do consciously realize that even through the new persistent content, dreams have reverted to the texture of my previous normal. so relieving. ]

Location: Canadian Royal House

What I see is a lot of data all at once, some parts of it are embedding stronger, more clearly than other parts. I can see I am walking down a central corridor passing by room after room. I am peering into the rooms, one by one as I walk by but see no actual interaction with anyone here. It is more like I am in a record, or information field. Everyone is in their beds buried under their blankets. I feel mostly the urge to get to the front door and out of here. There is a male at a fuzzy distance. There is a team of two other young girls who have already made it out of the house, I see them walking outdoors on a path rounding the hills below. In seeing them I realize I am also in a team of two however it is so mildly that I do not look for who is here with me.

The girls and the male all belong to this house, while I do not. I am ( merged in the consciousness field of ) one of the servants. It could be one of the male drivers. I seem to see a moment of making it to and out of the front door and at the gate being seen by him as he is entering. It could be I was brought back in ( /merged with him ) to see more. Other than the feeling of being in someone else’s house, I cannot see what is spurring the urge to get out of here. 

Underlying this whole record is a message from Guidance that is telling me it is time—time to begin learning how to use the alcohol stoves/burners I have been studying up on. There is a timeframe I detect, between now and this coming April through which I should get comfortable and gain experience with using them. All this is about the coming hard times in real space and the signs to look for. Something about the Canadian Royal House is involved. 

Note: I did not even know there was a Canadian Royal House.

Is there???

December 2, 2023

Refreshed and rebalanced on the verge of ‘here’ and ‘there’

Today, come morning I wake so pleasantly for the first time in what seems a very long time that all I want to do is lay still in the pleasant sensation—waking slowly over the next hour. I can move and switch my position in the bed without disturbing my depth of awareness and inner vision. With eyes closed I am easily able to see into my room, as well as into the symbolic field within. I play around with bringing visuals in closer to me, sometimes by simply looking more deeply into the field, sometimes by asking a question. But I do not follow them, I am just testing my position here at the threshold of ‘here’ and ‘there’ — while more predominately simply enjoying the ultra-pleasant sensation I find myself so ubiquitously enveloped in.

The air is cool and crisp but I am perfectly warm under the blankets. The sun has just risen, the morning is bright, there is birdsong and other neighborhood sounds. I just want to lay here in this fresh, wonderful feeling forever. – and I do for well over an hour, content as could be.

December 1, 2023

Superimposed backyards, another giant, meaningful hug

When I woke this morning I felt it challenging to come away from a very specific moment within the dream which involved yet another ‘giant’ ( this symbol has been presenting regularly the past couple months ) and where in parting we hug. I just want to embed the moment and not bother with distracting myself from it in order to make my log. Midday I drafted a few quick notes, but never returned to them in order to draft them out more formally. I could do that now, even days later, however it is still only the hug that grabs all my attention. In this instance – I will not make a habit of this – I am just going to leave it at my quick notes >>

• Backyards -all superimposed

• I see myself watering the dirt. I am surrounded by dirt. I aim the hose at a large garbage can filled with dirt and watch a lizard scurry away over the top

• Inside ( a collective structure ) is a small group of people, they take me into some of the rooms. Inside one of them, a kitchen, is a young man who is telling me HE didn’t do anything bad -a demon did who momentarily took him over *I do not feel this is true

• There is among the small main group a giant of a man who before leaving I hug, I feel my chest press very tangibly into his ( heart energy exchange ). He and the others walk me out having given me a gift— a squash in a big clear bag

• Back in the yard surrounded by dirt I am trying to decide what to do with it *I don’t really enjoy eating squashes. I ask a young girl back here if she wants it. ( she doesn’t )

• As I wake I find myself somehow knowing the purpose of this whole experience, which is improving the ability with which I do my job. Which job, being a human, or specifically a care provider I am not sure. Very possibly both.