Who I Am: Returning to Awareness

The first realizing.
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I am two, maybe three years old.

I am upstairs with my Dad in his room. My sister is here, she is coming in growling at me again. I am not sure why but she does this. I don’t know why she is doing it. Dad is coming out from the bathroom, half preoccupied with what he is doing, half checking in on us. I am looking up at him. Telling him something. He is responding but it is not anything to do with what I am saying.

 

It is taking me a minute to figure it out.—He is talking to someone else. (this little girl here). He does not see me. He is not hearing. I am looking him right in the eyes and he is not seeing. In an instant my whole world is breaking. Everything is shaking. I am feeling dizzy, sick, shocked, lost. My sense of self, of belonging, severely disrupted. I am alone. I am realizing I am alone in my knowing.

And I am invisible.

* * * * * * *

I retained a degree of awareness (of myself) beyond what is normal into my mid teens. Bearing a somewhat buried sense of sadness. Not quite fitting in. Nothing ever seeming to happen to me. I am protected. I do have a sense that I am protected. I am without what some (local personalities) might call common sense, but what I would call without fear. I do not know to be afraid. I do not create with that. With my father’s assistance I retain this to a significant degree throughout my life.

Yet—also, the continuous carrying of sadness, of not being known, aloneness. So I begin to cover myself over. To cover over the hurt. I exit awareness and enter the drama. Albeit not quite to the standard degree because it is a first for me. (it is not the tenth or hundredth time). Things are easy for me to begin once I get the hang of it. (they are easy for me to stop as well). Tell a story as if it were true. Let the energies and the details wash over me. Enforce them in my experiencing. Enforcing builds momentum. Builds ever repeating waves of more and more of the same.

I go all out with this. When I bring something new in I bring it in all the way. When I bring in smoking I smoke a lot. When I bring in drinking I drink a lot. There is an order, intelligence and thoroughness to it. I bring in the full spectrum not just the lower. When I study I study a lot. When I work, when I help, when I care I care a lot. I am utterly without preference for the high or the low. The impetus is more focused on doing a thing well and all the way. Don’t do it halfway, half heartedly, do it whole heartedly, all the way.

Some (local personalities) would say I do not know right from wrong. That I have no morals. What I would say is that I know to not judge,—by all means to experience, and graduate experience. But they do not remember having done this. Or of being in the process of this now. I can not tell them. I have covered the awareness over. I just continue with being me. Not letting myself become affected, —INfected with common ideas. I hold my focus. My own frequency. It is a very pure frequency. It is not like some others. It keeps me linked in with who I am and where I am from.

Inherently I know to not create karma.

I experience regular, periodic epiphanies. In the ninth grade, between classes I am coming around a corner while in my awareness deciding to go the A or F route. (ninth grade is when everything begins entering my record). I am realizing I am without even the slightest shade of a preference. Bottom of the barrel, top of the barrel, they both will get me there. (OUT of the barrel). In my experiencing I am seeing the vast array,—of streams, choices. And reach out into one.

From the age of 12, when first coming into the earning of money I realize that when loaning money I should do it with no expectation of it returning. Just make the extension. Give. Be the avenue and after that let it be out of my hands. (as it literally is). This way it is good, (whatever happens), the action is free and I am free within my being of potential karma. From this young age I never loan money. I frequently, easily give it. Whenever asked. (I have never said no).

* * * * * * *

Inside the drama of daily life, I am experiencing on other levels.

I am going onto crafts. Having my state of health often looked into. Body examinations. Upgrades. Healing. I am participating in various galactic programs. Attending school.—learning to consciously shift reality streams, hold synchronous states (combine within my Total being). But it is of course what happens closest to (returning to) physical awareness that stays most clearly with me. The activity in the etheric. My young person and central nervous system must learn to adapt. To graduate from its level, through ALL the levels in a single lifetime. (not get stuck. not go into fear). Clear the way to bring the Total beingness through to the Earth life. There is work.

* * * * * * *

At the age of 15 I bring in Casey. courage. a warrior aspect. (and leave home).

* * * * * * *

The Shift

The SHIFT in consciousness to a new frequency, — this is the work.

The new frequency EARTH is right here, in SPACE but not yet in time. It is not yet physical. It just needs to be made physical. The shift in(to the new) frequency is happening outside most people’s awareness. But it cannot happen outside the awareness of everyone or it would be as if it did not happen. There must be a percentage who witness it.

Of those, there are a great many (myself included) who are being placed on the very edge of the old and new frequency. On the precipice of the cataclysms, the old paradigm and systems going down, reaching out to those on the cusp of deciding whether to go with the new. Offering a hand over. This Service is an honor to preform.

There are places, portals, vortices on the Earth where dimensions meet. They are in large part not seen by the average onlooker. It appears to them there is nothing, when in actuality as they move they are slipping through an overlap of where two places are meeting. A percentage of those going into the new frequency are going over in this way.

These portals are sometimes innately facilitated by one’s own higher being and can actualize anywhere you happen to be. They are stepped through almost wholly outside your awareness. No different than walking across a room. Only somewhere in there something happens. And you step through. Into fourth dimensional Earth life.

There is a percentage of the population who will be going up on craft, and being set back down after the events. They are choosing to remain with the old frequency. To continue its learning program. Some are going up on craft and LEAVING. Their missions are complete.

Some are dematerializing. Into that from which they came. This is the stream of probability I am on. Through it I see my Group has (many) representatives remaining both in Galactic space AND with the higher frequency Earth. As always, in all ways—available.

** * * * * *

ALL are in me now.–
My perception enters into this and the awareness washes through me.

In terms of paradigms. (we see this happening more obviously now).—the INSIDE lifestyle is representing technology. The OUTSIDE, nature.

The first step in creating a NEW paradigm, is very simply non participation in the old one. This is the role and function of many of the so-called ‘homeless’,—those coming in ever increasing numbers out into the open. In all manner of ways. Nomads of all shade and color. Who are the blood within the veins of the new life. They keep things moving. (they represent the new circulatory system).

If this population, the ‘homeless’ were to collectively realize they are not, that they are free, and simply creating something new, the old paradigm would go down in an instant. The population, large as it is would very rapidly tip the scales.

Those opting on nature, the natural paradigm, are the ones who are coming out. Those coming out first are escaping the major catastrophic event(s), the brunt of the fall of the old paradigm and systems,—and (out here) are bearing the burden of laying the foundation of the new (which they literally ARE). (also, almost wholly outside their awareness). So that those on the wave behind them can have a clearer place to put their feet.

The ones representing ‘sustainability’ are the new wave. They will be building the actual structure(s). This process begins the shifting of their frequency. The pattern matching of their frequency to that of the fourth dimensional Earth life. Which they are constructing. For humanity. For its continuance. They must see it. I am (out) here to help them see it.

To help keep the frequency elevated.

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The Shift in consciousness is not from the physical to the non-physical alone. Once this is met it is also a letting (shifting) of the new awareness, the new width into life here ground level. It is all one,—all at once. Here on the physical plane this is being represented in my own experience as a shift from the personal to the global. A shift from personal care to global care.

Two years ago I actualized becoming a global citizen (by letting go of my private residence). A citizen of the planet and representative of humanity. Follow me as I journey.–Through new ideas and new discovery.

* * * * * * *

copied from original blog dated August 5, 2015
Who I Am: Returning to Awareness

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