Prologue

The breakthroughs continue.

This month I am intently focused into the April 8 full solar eclipse and the opportunity I feel it represents. The very morning of the eclipse information began coming through in the dream state. Then when I woke I meditated,—focusing my attention into a mantra of sorts. As the eclipse was happening, as I sat in a focused state of attention I repeated the following:

“I am passing through this portal, cleansed by water and by fire ( ie: the sun and the moon ) in the highest light and for the greatest good as a full-time consciousness worker fully supported by the Universe and the Universe of Worlds.”

Once I had passed through the portal into this timeline, I changed the tense to “I have passed”. It was a really nice ceremonial rite of passage. I united with the galactic races on a deeper level and assistance from them actually began coming to me as I chanted. For instance the “cleansed by fire and water” part was given to me as I began the recitations. And so true!, not just a portal but a baptism first by water ( the moon ) and then by fire ( the sun ). When it was done I went outside, faced myself toward the sun with closed eyes and let myself be penetrated by the rays. The light outside was quite surreal. Not unlike that of another time and place. I do feel I am now quite actually in a new timeline. One in utter alignment, inside and out with my focus.

Following the eclipse and consciously directing myself through this portal I began to be accelerated ( see April 21 log ) and a singular message begins coming through to me. Surrendering and connecting my will to Thy will, in order to get where we actually are heading now. The Greater will is unfettered by doubt and has no fear to distract or detract it. Allowing this could only mean one thing. We are now on the fast track into the new moment. Into the next new evolution of our service. Activating the Voice and taking on the role of the Speaker. A Seer and Speaker. It certainly has been a long time coming. I do feel I am ready.

The final thing I will mention for this month ( it has been a doozy of a month! ) is that I am growing more curious at, and focusing into my ANCESTRAL HISTORY. I am looking into this through the dream and instantly aided in this by Inner being. This feels incredibly related to coming into the new service. Perhaps it is a keying into who will be the first to bring through. All this is so new I will have to follow it for a time before knowing, or knowing any more than I do at present. We are at the verge of its very unfolding. Such an exciting place to be. !! At present, just to say, as can be seen in this month’s dreams all fingers are pointing toward the Feline races.

The word for us this month is >>

CONNECTION

….

Dream Titles

• An alternate 3D reality, bus crashes, finances, rearrangement of affairs
• I seem to have traveled for a real visit with a friend; salt, new loo paper
• A much earlier wake time, today is a wash
• Extraordinary experience in the expanded state, another level of breakthrough
• Reading history through cockroach evolution, achievement celebration of a friend
• The dynamic and mechanics of deep level connection
• Information on an internal energetic within today’s eclipse
• Deceased family, time slip to the 1940s, private investigator, intelligence agency,
  ( ET contact ) “seaweed men”
• Floating through a field of a stream of memories in black and white; father and son
• A frilled necked albino snake wakes me; Kundalini event
• Cubed cages filled with people who fall to their death,
  evasive maneuvers the rest of the night
• Migraine – down day
• I get swept into the gravity of a Spanish couple who are going around
  helping people as they sleep
• A grey wolf pins me, white mall- gunmen looking for me
• A visit from my maternal grandmother, an apartment leasing office
• I begin the process of looking into my ancestral history; cherry pink
• A sequence of violent dreams
  In the morning I receive more on my ancestral lineage: LEOPARD
• Wild shift into an OBE,
  a far away world that is between the edge of its galaxy and a black hole
• Naval ships, correction facility, working in the dark
• Extraordinary! shift, a stream of accelerations, another world, another reality
• Inner being speaks ( and I hear ), surrendering personal will
• A potential upcoming change in my place of residence
• Injuries to the body, a horrible scar and new incisions in my knee
• Energy sensation at the top of my head, then a spiral into the random and bizarre
• A natural lineage “a house in the sun”, John…gold, coin, bank run
• A visit to my sister, Sandy, in larger life, plus
  a previous lifetime in the ancient past
• A night of no real sleep, karma regarding the eyes
• A really strange phenomenon in the night, recovering sleep
• More strange phenomena in the night, a stronger contact with the Feline races

….

April 30, 2024

More strange phenomena in the night, a stronger contact with the Feline races

After waking briefly in the very early morning to use the bathroom I lay my incredibly sleepy self back down and aim myself inward toward the night’s activity. I see into where I am standing in a shower, there are a couple inches of standing water in the bottom filled with dirt. I can see there is a large body of activity surrounding this moment but I am already being pinned magnetically on my back to the bed and gravity is pulling me in another direction. Sometime later, I find myself ( quite unconsciously ) at my dad’s house, the one where I did most of my growing up. There are two boys downstairs, one a bit older playing the piano and one a bit younger who is singing. The quality of the boy’s voice is interesting, the notes he is singing are very different somehow. This catches my attention. Upstairs I am with a female but she is deep in the background -I do not see her. By the time I get I downstairs I am seeing that both the boys are gone. 

The doors are wide open, both inside the house as well as the side gate that leads into the backyard. Outside by the gate I begin to see cats. More and more cats until there are as many if not more than a dozen. They are all very different but most are grey or black haired. I see one white cat among them who interestingly does not stand out among them.

When I try to close the outside gate to keep them safe in the backyard they do not like this and attempt to get out. Though, in truth, I can’t quite tell if I am trying to contain them or keep them out. In either event they are not having it. One of them locks eyes with me, I can tell it is about to jump up and it does. It is a short haired smokey grey. Rather than hold the cat I extend both my arms way out long and just let it walk on me. In my mind I had been thinking these were feral cats ( because they were not ours ) and might have nits, but these cats are very well groomed. When I set this one down, as I am trying to get the gate closed another jumps up. It takes some doing but I finally get the gate secure and with this I go back inside -only to find a few of the cats in the house because the front door is wide open. 

There is a very mild frustration brewing in me. I am upset at the boys for having just run off, not only without saying anything but also having left the house so wide open.

More cats come inside. More cats are just outside the door as well as I get it closed and try to get it latched. I work at this for some time and cannot get it done. The door will close but not latch. The cats are able to just paw up on the door, get it open and come in.

It had been the same at first outside at the side gate as well. While there I see a vertical 4” inch wide by 12” high strip of grey foam padding along the inner pole of the gate door that makes it easy for the cats to paw up and push open. While inside trying to figure out why the latch will not latch, the female previously upstairs with me is now beginning to come into view. She is trying to talk with me but I have my mind so full of what is going on here, as well as ( in the bed ) I am still trying to see into the earlier night’s activity while also embed all of what is happening here. I am telling her I have no attention space left as I give up on the door and begin noticing cases and cases all neatly stacked on the floor of pink salmon colored cans of cat food. It newly dawns on me that I am going to have to feed these cats. I am setting about to do this when I begin to wake. I hear Jagger downstairs, without doubt needing to go out. 

Moments later I hear his person stirring. “Oh good!” I think to myself as I will him to actually go down there to see to him. Moments later I hear his door open, hear him walk down the stairs, greet Jagger and take him out. “Excellent” I think to myself, “I will not lose this whole experience.” 

It is now that I realize I am still pinned on my back to the bed by a magnetic force. It is the state I commonly call “stasis”. Sooo blissfully pleasant. I lay here in it for near an hour, not wanting, or even feeling the need to breathe. I begin recalling the strange phenomenon that happened not once but twice earlier in the evening. I had reversed through inward flowing gravity to reach over toward my laptop -in order to close it up, probably, but am stopped in my tracks when I feel a sensation not dissimilar to that of a collection ( or collective ) of individuals jumping into me. It is so shocking that the inward gravity re-takes me. Sometime later >>

Again realizing the laptop is still playing videos, I reach over to close it and the same phenomenon repeats!, only this time it is slightly less shocking as it dawns on me this is its second occurrence and the sensation dissipates as I come fuller into the conscious activity of shutting down the laptop for the night. I make note of it as highly curious, but also realize I am working more diligently now toward the vocal channeling and that these type of things are going to happen and there is a need for me to acclimate to them. Acclimate and intently push through. 

Indeed the symbols are all here. It would be my great honor to bring through the Feline races.

I have confirmed this with them this very morning.

***

What a way to close out the month of April!

April 29, 2024

A really strange phenomenon in the night, recovering sleep

Following no sleep the night prior, I try to fall off early tonight but the heat is giving me a run for my money. It is 10:30 or so before I finally slip in. I sleep well, but as fate would have it again, Jagger’s responsible person is not showing up for come early morning ( when I generally settle in to my recall ). I get up, take him outside, get him some fresh water and when done lay myself back down. I have a mild right temporal headache. I was not ready to get up when I just did. I could have slipped in there for more data but laying here I now feel fairly awake, and the state of my head is not very encouraging in terms of applying any effort to re-enter the internal terrain. I recall, and can even still see one moment of interest in a particular scene, and a very strange moment from earlier in the night, when I had with deliberate intent stretched myself from my inner landscape in order to look into Earth space. This must have been to look in on my body because as I do this I find it is experiencing a strange electrical shock sensation, like it is having a seizure. I cannot say for sure if this is something that actually was happening that caught my attention, or if the phenomenon was a result of the willful stretch I had just performed. It could have been the differential in the frequencies between the inner and outer. The moment I recall from a particular scene is one in which a man is hanging off the ropes outside a large wooden ship ( circa 1700s? ). I seem to know he even sleeps here in the position. I am quite curious about this.

April 28, 2024

A night of no real sleep, karma regarding the eyes

Yesterday was a really long work day, I didn’t finish up until the clock was nearing 1am. After this I just could not fall off. I was super comfortable laying here, in fact so comfortable I felt an experience was likely forthcoming. But I remained wide awake. Jagger, our house dog ( not mine but his person is away this week ) began stirring around 4:30am and by 5:30 he was insisting to go out. His responsible person was not showing up, so as fate would have it, just as I was conscious entering the inner threshold of what has to be the slowest, most gradual shift I have ever made I had to instead bring myself to the wake side of threshold, get up and take Jagger outside.

He ran me pretty good before finding a spot to pee. So once back inside, and having laid myself back down, I was again too awake to just easily slip in. I lay here for a couple hours before knocking off for an unpleasant, single sleep cycle ( 90 minutes ). I say uncomfortable because by this time I am feeling very off in my head and in my center, my stomach. No sleep equals no night’s healing. I did enter an interesting dream, but my head is to groggy to grok it.

I remember the last thing I saw. A female who is about to squirt some fluid into the eyes of a male, who has completely surrendered himself to this fate. He stands perfectly still and lets it happen -as he knows it is a karmic repercussion.

April 27, 2024

A visit to my sister, Sandy, in larger life + a previous lifetime in the ancient past

This will be a bit of a break today, as my dreaming began early in the evening and by morning I am only seeing broad strokes of detail. The most important to me is that I had gone to visit my sister, Sandy, who crossed over into larger life many years ago now. 

I drove to an apartment complex to see her. I arrived on my motorcycle. <– this is a theme that has been presenting in dreams this past month, the idea of me ( wanting and not wanting  ) to ride my motorcycle. I remember feeling off about parking it outside at this place and Sandy extended the offer herself for me to park it inside. I was very grateful, and in fact delighted. We spent quite a lot of time together. At one point during the visit, in the process of a brainwave shift through beta I even consciously acknowledged to myself that all this was happening. I had not been consciously alert of the visit until this point. It is mostly dialogue that is going on during the visit, I do not see us doing much of anything *aside from talking -none of which, of course, has made it back with me. I can see myself, afterward, walking out into the complex community. I see the fragment of a young platinum blonde haired girl, and another person beyond her who I can not see at all now. 

There is also a sequence that occurs after all this as well.

All I can see of it now is its timeframe in the ancient past and a moment where I ( as a female ) am asked by a male if I can run to the shops for loaves of bread. I agree to this, though he does not seem to realize I will require money. I walk to the main male I am linked with in this experience and he slides me what I will need. I am placing this in the breast of my dress while facing away from the other man. This is all for the sake of the other man’s pride. To not insult his lack of knowing. I feel very comfortable here, with the man I am most linked with. I am given a lot of freedom in the household in this life. I do feel this has been a genuine lifetime.

April 26, 2024

A natural lineage “a house in the sun”, John…gold, coin, bank run

House in the sun : I am out in nature, on the land, in a personal settling among some really nice trees- there is a large wooden house built here already but I do not live in it. The house belongs to a male person. I, too, feel to be a young male. I have lived outside all this time and am now thinking I will build a house of my own. I begin the construction process. The design is a smaller version on the same theme as the larger house already here. It has a lower area with a large open doorway that leads into it and an upper loft with a large open framework ( ie: window without the glass ) that is directly above the doorway below. It might look like a small barn except the shape is slightly rectangular and has a flat roof. The whole thing is positioned so that the doorway and open window, quite intentionally face, let in and commune with the sun. In the process of all this happening I see a lineage beginning to form. Offsprings of my own who in the distance are, too, building their house. Following this experience, John contacts me.

Gold coin : I can feel that John and I have been engaged for some time prior to my conscious state of attention coming in on this area. I recognize his energy and the sensation of discourse. Out in front, in the scenes, there are people out walking on a cobblestone street. Gold coins have been dropped and some of the people are stopping to picking to one up.

I am observing this, I do not pick one up for myself. Then there are some bad men who are rounding everyone up and holding them clustered down on the ground. I am still observing, but from down here on the ground with these people. I am threatened and told to keep my eyes down. I feel the oppression and lower my gaze, but not before seeing the caucasian bald man who has just said this. My vision goes black and a new scene appears.

I am at the bank, in line with John. There are a lot of people here turning their gold coin in for the equivalent in today’s worth. I almost can’t believe what the exchange is ( it is crazy huge ). I think to myself “I should have gotten one of those for myself.” It is not just that they are cashing in, people are somewhat en masse withdrawing their funds from the bank. John is getting his in all precious metal coin. It is in a large money bag with thick leather scoop handles. The bag is the size of two grocery shopping bags stacked atop one another. While I am in line, John is off somewhere, I do not know where he has gone. But what I think is his money bag is sitting here beside me on red leather barstool. I don’t know if I will be able to pick it up.

I can’t just keep standing here, though. To my other side there is a constant flow of people walking away. I have to put a hand into the flow and finally stop someone, or slow them, enough to say I am going to enter it here. When I pick up what I think is John’s bag of coins I am surprised to find I can lift it just fine. I enter the flow of people leaving and am off. My vision goes to black while activity beyond my knowing continues to tangibly occur. 

John is here with me again. It still feels as though we are in the bank building. We definitely are, but I am in some sort of a transition, still, as well. John has made shrimp kabob for me. I am telling him “just this one more time and then I am going to fast for 40 days and lose some of this weight I have put on.” He thinks it is a good idea. A conversation is now going on about this in the background, while in the foreground I am eating one of the shrimp, and then another, and then a third before running forward to catch up with where he has gone. ( Question: do I need iodine? ).

In another area of the shift ( I have bi-located ) I see a giant of a man who is announcing to everyone in the bank that he is looking for his sack of money. His size makes him look like a bit of a thug, but he is going about this all quite diplomatically. I realize I may have picked up the wrong bag, the bag I had thought to be John’s by mistake. I bring it over to him and ask if this is his. It is. I return it to him and am again surprised when rather than be angry or aggressive at me for having taken it, I am celebrated and even rewarded. I am given this white can with blue markings on it. Is it a beverage? I have no ( real ) idea what it is. 

The shift has me passing now into the etheric version of my bedroom:

Two women are standing near the right corner of the foot of my bed. They are standing very close, are both very slim and very tall, and one of them has the other’s arm pulled way up behind her back ( as though she is being restrained ). There is conversation going on in the room and while it is going on I am saying something telepathically to the woman being restrained. She replies to me and it causes me to startle, “you heard me, then? !! “ I say to her, again telepathically.

This behind the scenes mind-to-mind conversation we are having is about the channeling but I no longer recall the exact words. She looks toward me again and is confirming the situation, but then turns downward and leads the sentence she is saying into the word DOOM. With a big boom I am popped wholly out of the experience. 

April 25, 2024

Energy sensation at the top of my head, then a spiral into the random and bizarre

It is still very early in the morning when I first wake. I get up to use the bathroom then settle myself back in the bed, pick up my crystal ( my healer, George ) and position myself for either deep dream retrieval or an Experience. On my way in I greet everyone with a “hello” and address the subject of channeling. I immediately feel a strong energy sensation at the top of my head. It feels like a rotating drill and is just left of the center of my head. It happens so fast and is so strong that at first it startles me. I quickly regroup and as the drilling sensation continues, inwardly confirm that “I am ready.” I am beginning to see a scene full of people and in the scene is me as a young adult. The group of people are at a restaurant where there is music and dancing. The people are just huddled here, standing around talking but I am beginning to dance. The environment shifts to where I am the gym, and then a professional dance hall. Again I am dancing, practicing my turns and other things. I see myself walking across the floor. It is so strange seeing myself. I recognize the clothes I am wearing ( it is the timeframe where wearing navy blue with black was a thing ) and the way I am wearing my hair, in a high ponytail. The scene shifts again but this one loses me, I fall into standard dream until I catch the shift back into physical space. 

We are at a motel. I have driven here with a male assistant who is a tad my junior. 

Where we are actually heading is about an hour’s drive from here, a residence in a midwest state, outside the city in the country. There is a reason we have come but it is challenging for me to see. Everything from here gets real symbolic and surreal. It is not easy to follow, or to relay. I remember little girls in fancy little dresses. I remember a female who I think is attracted to me. There are a variety of sexual overtones throughout the experience but they seem perfectly natural and I do not take exception to any of them, even the most bizarre. At one point we are in an indoor pool room. Some of us are in the water. There is a stingray like creature in here with us. Its tail is like the sharpest of knives and it excretes something that is either a poison or kind of electricity. I try to stay calm and think to myself that everything is going to be okay. We are guests here. It wouldn’t be in the water with us if it weren’t okay for it to be. I am coming to terms with all this as it is right up next to me and I am seeing it in clear detail. But then it investigates the assistant here with me, whose name is Jon, and as suddenly as I can realize, it kills him. I scurry out of the water. I think everyone else does, too. I am stunned and going into shock. I cannot stop asking myself why it did not kill me as I am moved from here into subsequent activity. 

It slowly begins occurring to me that I don’t even know how to get to the motel room we have rented. Or if it still paid for. Jon had taken care of all of that. Then it dawns on me that I will have to call his family and tell them what has happened. I go numb when this dawns on me. I nearly lose my stomach. Everything is beginning to hit me and hit me hard. The family I need to contact is related to the Corso/Carsons ( a family I know IRL ). They are going to be devastated. So many levels of activity are going on at this point that I can no longer keep track. The people here do not want me to leave and go back home. I am feeling like I don’t want to either. As time has passed various of those who are interacting with me have become like a new family. I still can’t figure out why I am even here yet, though. I have my things at the motel, but I don’t even know where it is from here. The scenes are more fully beginning to split. I can feel the pull of these people on me but I am also pulling away. I am now entering a large shop that along with items also has crystals. There is a female shop owner who is a bit older and two younger females who work here. As I am looking at the items I am told to take care if I touch them. I explain that I know about crystals. Before I know it I am engaged in a personal conversation with them. It is going into deeply personal things, religion and politics. I skirt answering their questions by simply telling them I am not political. The conversation goes to President Trump. I tell them that I like him, he did some good things while in office that were surprising, as my impression of him to begin was not good. I am cut off from even finishing this sentence by a shift >> 

I am now standing in an office tended by an a management couple in their 60s. They are saying something about there never being an excuse to be late or even worse, a no-show. It is a long energetic stream on this idea and I am trying to, and finally do interrupt with my own which is “except that in this instance Jon had died.” They are aghast as I go on to explain what had happened and the need to contact family with the news – as they each quickly cross themselves.

Back in the shop a man comes in through a door just to outside of it. I see him walk back toward the area where all the people from the country are. He seems intent and I have alerts in me going off about him so I watch as he enters the space and then moments later arms go up and are waving as though to prevent something from happening and people are scurrying. It would appear an argument has broken out. I tell the ladies in the shop something is happening and I run back to a door leading into that area when I see the man himself heading back for it to get away. I try to close the door and hold him in there but the door is made of lightweight wood and there is not much of a lock. I ultimately fail. He exits the room walking right by me. I am surprised when he just walks by rather an accost me for what I had just done. 

Everything continues to be increasingly more bizarre to me. There is endless seemingly random activity I have not even mentioned. It was all just TOO bizarre and random to fit into a comprehensive understanding. One of the last things I see ( I must be in the shift back into beta ) is one of the men from the country sitting outside in a wagon with an enormous erection and masturbating. He sees me and stops. But the erection is still there large as life. I tell him I will stand here in order to help things along ( lol ). He can look at me. For a quick moment he is all country ‘shucks’ but then says okay and in seconds brings the situation to a point of eruption. It might appear as though a hose had turned on full blast. He is just sitting there like a fountain, the stream shooting skyward and synchronously falling back down all over him. 

At this point I am already mostly back in my room -and for the life of me cannot figure out what any of this has been about. I just keep wondering, and asking why we went out to the house in the country in the first place. I see no answer. I just can’t see it.

April 24, 2024

Injuries to the body, a horrible scar and new incisions in my knee

While in the scene I am moving through I feel my knee begin to itch. 

I look down at it and ( with my full conscious state of attention ) see  a horribly jagged, horizontal scar reaching from one side of the knee to the other. I can no longer see clearly whether this is the right or left or knee -but IRL I have had recent difficulty with both. I may be seeing what is behind my knee challenges now. There are two additional incisions, each approximately 2” in length, one that is horizontal above the scar and located toward the outside of the knee, and one that is vertical at the inside of the knee. These two incisions are newer and are what are itching.

My hands are reaching down toward the knee to investigate what I am seeing but I know to not scratch else I newly break them open. The itch indicates there may be infection, though, and I realize, with a less than good feeling that the knee may have to be gone into again. As all of this comes to me it literally obliterates all the other data surrounding it. It is shocking to see but I am holding strong to this data. I can no longer see the context in which all of this is happening, although I can still see that my mom is here, and that she has been driving me from one scene to another, to another, in order visit and view all that I have been tonight. 

I can also dimly see where in a mostly void-ish area I have entered a bathroom stall and sat myself down with the door wide open. I am aware that there are stalls to the sides of me and can vaguely see that there is a desk or nurses station out in front of me that is occupied by multiple people. I have no care at all at the door and lack of privacy. A young female sweeps in who says she is going to help me, she begins with this before the words are even out of her mouth. Her intent feels off from good. I can’t tell what she is doing. Something at my back. She looks like Lu. It feels I am only here for this split moment and then am somewhere else.

April 23, 2024

A potential upcoming change in my place of residence

There are lots of people coming into the house. I somehow know they are for Aaron, and that this is some kind of graduation celebration. It is our house, but it doesn’t look like it. I am sitting at the bar, on a nice leather swivel barstool. The space around me fills in with people who are now flooding in. A woman carrying a large bag full of items including a thin rolled up rug near hits me in the face with it. I get up and begin walking through the space, deciding on whether I will join the festivities and have a drink. In the air I can hear a concern about the wifi, about how many people will be on it and whether my devices will be secure during this time. I think to myself I had better keep an eye on this. I am also picking up on something being said about something in the house that is making the people who live here sick ( mold? EMF? nano dust? I wonder ). 

I have walked into the kitchen and am looking through a drawer that has syrup spilled in the back and few small clear plates that have been away without even having been washed. I hear Erica say in jest, “oh yeah, no-one around here would do that.” I am working with this situation for awhile and then there is just me and a young blonde woman left here. She walks into the room and passes on the message to me that I am quote “on repeat”. 

I take this to be in reference to my rental. I tell her, in way of confirming that indeed my rent is paid and that I pay 2 months at a time. She seems unhappy about this ( does she want my room? ) ( am I in her room? ). She is speaking casually about something else now and mentions 20 thousand dollars she needs for starting a business I think. I tell her I barely make more than that in a whole year. I tell her it is harder to make money than she thinks. I am also feeling awkward now about having given away my financial status. My conscious mind is coming in on the idea that the family may be thinking of not renewing my rental. I think to myself that I had better start preparing myself for a potential move. A t-shirt company is mentioned. I am saying I do not know of a good t-shirt company and that t-shirts never fit me fit quite right.

I am now in the bedroom, it looks like my nieces bedroom ( the walls are yellow ), the one I lived in for years when she was still too young for her ow room. There is an older woman here with me, she is attractive, well kept and well to do. I am looking at myself in a full length mirror. I am wearing a cherry pink spaghetti strap t-shirt pajama dress. I like the way it is made and how it fits me, just enough material without it being too much. I am telling the woman this. [ quick shift ]

An attractive young man in his 30s has me in the back seat of his car while he is driving. He all of a sudden says he has to pull over and tells, more than asks me if this is okay. He aims the car just to the front of a shop. I ask him if he works here. He seems upset, like he has something of concern on his mind. He tells me he just has to think for a moment. The scene shifts before I notice. He is still in front of me as we were in the car, but I am floating in an oversized jacuzzi pool. There are two large brown autumn leaves floating on top of the water. I see a liter sized amount of coffee brown fluid that has is floating an arms length in front of me. Soon it has evenly distributed through the water and the whole pool is slightly tinged the color. I ask “why is the water brown?”

There is no answer.

I seem to be sweeping random bits of debris out of the pool. A young female, the man’s same age approaches. She is pretty but has her hair cut short in a man’s style, like we used to do in the 1980s. She says hello to the man, and to me, whom she interestingly, respectfully address as “sir”. The two of them begin to talk. They appear to be in the pool with me but they are not. The subject of their conversation is beyond me, it has something to do with electronics, a new developed technology the young man is interested in. While I am listening I suddenly wake.

___________________

Note: upon waking I do not feel well, my stomach is off accompanied by right temple lobe migraine

April 22, 2024

Inner being speaks ( and I hear ), surrendering personal will

I walk through a long series of interrelated scenes that lead into where I finally stop in my tracks and realize the theme. It is again, following yesterday’s experience : the surrendering of personal will ( to a greater will ). In order to get to where you actually ARE going.

What is happening is that I am in the home of a young woman who is a care client. She is quite pretty, has shoulder length natural platinum blonde hair and is on multiple medications possibly for psychiatric reasons. There seems nothing wrong with her physically. I am caring for her through the nights. It is my habit to take a little 20-30 minute break in the night, leaving the house to visit my mom and get something to eat. But the young woman has begun to get up in the night, stirring due to some agitation. I know this even from a distance, when on my break and with my mom. 

It feels like I am leaving this job -and the caregiving in general. But I am second guessing having left her like this. In the background I am being told she will be okay, family and other care providers will be there for her but it doesn’t feel like this to me. It feels more like an abandoned post, like a need is there that is being unfulfilled and I try to get back to her. Every obstacle imaginable is put in my way, including the mobius loop itself I am put on. Streets go nowhere, danger blocks have to be gone around, there are distractions by people and into other apartments. Even my family, my mom an siblings all make an appearance. This goes on and on until after what seems a whole night’s worth of journeying I finally stop in my tracks. I realize I am on this mobius loop and am never going to get where I am going unless I surrender the strong bent of my will. 

In an instant I see this is another message from Inner being.

It is in reference to real space, Earth space—where I am leaving the care work behind and journeying on to pursue direct Spiritual endeavors and become a Channel for higher consciousness. The path is being laid for me to step upon, but I will only see the markers if I connect my will to Thy will, which has no doubt, and no fear to distract or detract it.

This moment I am standing in within the dream is truly astounding. I feel I have gotten this on a deeper level and it has more fully embedded into my system. I feel the support from, and alignment with Inner being in the new endeavor. 

The new moment is truly becoming so exciting. !!!

April 21, 2024

Extraordinary! shift, a stream of accelerations, another world, another reality

This is the most extraordinary shift I have experienced to-date.

This has never happened before. Generally in a conscious shift into an OBE there is but a single acceleration. In rare instances there may be a brief second. But this morning there is a series of more than a dozen, so MANY accelerations that I lose track of the exact number. When they begin, it is the deep of night and I am walking up a street when I decide to invoke flight. In the will toward this I begin to feel the onset of the first acceleration. As I feel this I completely surrender my will in order to ready myself to ride it. All light fades from sight until visually everything is entirely pitch and I am pulled in a backwards sensation at a rapid speed. 

I ride the acceleration entirely limp, as a leaf in the wind. When the acceleration stops, there is but a moments breath before another of an identical speed ( and possibly length ) begins. I am pulled in every direction possible— backwards and falling/downwards to begin, and predominantly, but this goes on until direction itself is no longer clear, falling begins to feel like flying vertically upwards. I begin to realize how well I am doing through all of this, how well I have surrendered all will and begin to wonder if I am being tested. Just as quickly, I begin to wonder where it is I am. I mean, this is extraordinary. What and who could be behind this? And for what purpose.

My state of wondering is beginning to cause a pull in my gut, my will is activating, to know more, see more, understand more, it is putting the brakes on the acceleration. I surrender it all over again. The accelerations return. I am, however, beginning to reach a limit. The last of them propels me, for the first and only time directly forward >> 

Through the accumulated reverberations and semi-drunk-like feeling as the last of the accelerations in extreme slow motion comes to a halt I see portions of what occurred within them. Notably an area where I am in a dormitory of sorts. I feel male. I am trying to sleep and the others here are trying to wake me. Another male, he is telling me to get up already. He is my senior but he is being friendly. I don’t feel well, my stomach is off, my head is off, I feel as though I have a mild hangover. There is another male in the room also, and at least one female. The room is very silver with ample light. I am telling the one who is so insistent upon me waking to leave me alone. In periods where, as this person, I am consciously receding from awareness I can still hear the others in the room talking. Their talking often has to do with me. I hear them mention something about me having chunks of food in my teeth. They are collectively working at rousing me. [ fast forward ]. I have gotten myself up and am walking to one of the bathrooms. 

I somehow know that I have a choice from which to choose and that I have chosen the one inside the bedroom I am now entering. A female steps out of the bathroom, she is thin with long-ish wavy brown hair, ordinary looking and wearing shorts pajamas. I step back so she may exit, then enter, and turn to lock the door. It is an interesting lock, and sensation while locking the door, it turns a full, or near full 360 degrees. This is having an effect on my conscious state of mind. [ fast forward ]. I am standing in front of a large square mirror. I am seeing that there are large mango chunks stuck in my teeth. I feel mildly embarrassed about this and am removing the chunks with my fingers ( the teeth afterward are glistening ). As I do this it is as though my size has shrunk and my oral cavity has come into a macro view. In the lower right quadrant behind the teeth I see an entire steak sized piece of pork. “That certainly would not be in my mouth” I think to myself as I reach in and remove this. I am beginning to be aware of the dual awareness, my own and this young male as I continue seeing more of what I now realize is simply undigested food. [ fast forward ]

There is another male stepping from the recesses of the bathroom into view. There is music. He is saying, almost singing something, the exact words however have been left to my subconscious. He steps from the room, through a large screen door and fades into the distance. I will describe him: visually in his 20s, what we call olive skinned, one length wavy brown hair with natural golden highlights worn to the shoulder. [ fast forward ]. I am in a bright place, like an indoor mall, walking down a few steps with someone who is telling me I have grown to be overweight. The someone is on my right behind my line of sight. I am explaining my predominant alignment with my masculine side and tendency to carry myself heavier than otherwise. I am stating the other reasons as well and saying “if he will not love me then he will not.” I am who I am. What is, is what is. I step through doors leading to the outside and begin walking up the street. It is the deep of night. I feel the urge to invoke flight—the accelerations begin.

Prior to all of this—

An equally interesting experience had been in play. I am laying in the bed bringing it all back to me when things take off. I had embedded these key words: life. world. airport. ( ticket first luggage later ). flight. love. kiss. I had been on another world. As myself I had been taken there and then brought back. In the transition back, on the flight, is a male who has great love for me. Our energy together feels like that of the dolphins. This is what it is like as our energy intermingles, my perception of which is as a kiss -but it is not in an ordinary sense. The energy experience on the interior of what is appearing visually is an immense, near unwordable feeling of fulfillment. This is all that remains. Although I would love to have the details of what happened on the other world intact, this is enough. One day the details will return to me.

April 20, 2024

Naval ships, correction facility, working in the dark

I recall three ( 3 ) separate areas of my dreaming, ranging from the top of the night to bottom of the morning. The dreams are long and the data far too complex to bring back in full but I have the overall concepts and basic gist of what is happening in each of the environments save the first which I have compressed into its basic symbols >> 

Naval ships : I am positioned *again in water, way out in a large water mass that *again seems to verge on an abyss. There are two large naval ships, both above water— one is a submarine and the other a destroyer. Positioned here with them are two people, the idea of my brother, Derrick, and a female OBEr friend, Lu. There is a voice in the background giving me data. All I can hear of it now is the voice saying “There are four types of people……”

Correction facility : In this area I am working with a female corrections officer. She is working with a young male delinquent who again is getting himself into trouble ( in a small group which includes two others ) and in the mix of all this the female officer herself gets entangled in a way that is landing her into the corrections facility as an inmate. I can’t believe this is happening and that I am now going to have to somehow do this job on my own without her. I am her junior and the rookie here. And I will now somehow have to find a way to help her while she serves time.

I have to do this stupid timed test where through the passenger window of a car I have reach with long clamps onto two items, one at a time and pull them inside. I realize as I am doing this that it will mean my service is formal and I will have to show up at a certain time ( 8am ) to perform the duties. Whereas I could have just done this as a volunteer and come at any hour that was comfortable. Inside the facility where the inmates all are there is the idea of sugar and sweets ( note: which I know to not ever consume IRL ). I have been drawn into eating two already and can feel my tooth beginning to ache. I am being encouraged now into a third. One of the other girls has the most enormous piece of cherry pie I have ever seen. It looks like a 3-4 inch wide cross section of a whole cake. She puts it down in such a short time that I am stunned. I am growing alert now to stay away, lest I become fully entangled in here myself. 

Working in the dark : I am packing up from a care job that has completed to go home. There are just a few random things of mine here, a couple pair of jeans ( genes ), etc.. but there are no lights and no matter what I do I cannot get the lamp that is here to work. None of the outlets seem to support it. It is frustrating. There is a male in the environment who wants me out. I am trying to hurry but it is slow going. I see that my mom is here, she is going to be driving me home. I see a narrow, long, lighted staircase that I have walked at some point before. The elderly couple who used to live here reside at the top. Business with them got handled here.

In the room where I am getting my things together, this large colorful insect-y thing comes out. It is roughly the size of my hand and has two long legs and two long arms. It is peachy-orange and pink in color. It stands itself up real tall and extends its arms and pincers up at me to appear as large as it possibly can to me. I tell it to not be silly, I am far larger than it and do not find it frightening. I give him a soft wack with some clothing item and it acrobats across the room. With a new attitude ( one more friendly ) it walks back toward me and I engage with it while doing my work. Trying to find my jeans ( genes ) in the mix of all the rest.

April 19, 2024

Wild shift into an OBE,
a far away world that is between the edge of its galaxy and a black hole

It is very early in the morning. I have just gotten up to use the bathroom, have laid back down and am falling into the fields when I find I am being slung waaay out somewhere as though by a curved, boomerang shaped object/energy. I am riding a body of water, the feeling of which is super fun until I reach a narrow point that to one side of which ( my right ) is the very edge ( of what seems like a whole galaxy ) and the other is something like a spiral vortex black hole. I surf the narrow space between successfully and arrive at a landing, a large flat rock that is still a ways out from shore. I know I am with a group and hope I am not the only one of us who has made it out this far. A moment after having the thought, a handsome, grown, fair skinned boy perhaps 15 years of age shows himself to me. I am relieved I am not alone. 

Before I even have the chance to realize, I am inside the city, just outside the amber tinted wall to wall glass doors leading into some place of business. A man approaches me suspiciously, I am still trying to get my bearings. I try to be casual and blend in, reaching my hand out to shake his hand in introduction. When he sees I am trying to use my actual hand for this his face appears even more suspicious. It appears they use some kind of device ( I am not sure how to describe it, it looks like a clamp composed of two different colored pencils, one more yellow or neutral one more pink ) at the end of their arms to do this. I quickly apologize and direct his attention to the ground where I show him my has fallen and broken. I bend down to retrieve it when a female worker, a delivery type person approaches from behind him. 

I continue trying to blend in, make friends and earn trust as the scene begins to take us inside the building. There is the idea of an area of the building being some kind of school where children are taught. Everyone has a certain skill they are born with which is honed throughout their early life and brought out into society as they come of age. What I do is brought to question. I am bringing to their attention my skill with the crystals, the skill for contacting other races. I am interweaving into their society through what grow to be years and am standing here with them very pleased when a brand new contact, through a known cluster within an area of the crystal is captured. In the experience I can see the being clearly ( its colors are a muted kind of deep purple and fuchsia ) but I can no longer see its other visual details. 

April 18, 2024

A sequence of violent dreams
In the morning I receive more on my ancestral lineage: red, leopard

Following an entire night’s stream of incredibly violent dreams which leads to a man driving an old fashioned red sports car through his closed garage door, parking inside within an invisibility cloak and going inside only to be located and brought to the point of being horribly killed by another man — I remember I am newly looking into my ancestral heritage. Before going in to what I am immediately shown I will say a little more about the man in his house. 

There is another younger man in the house who is his assistant. When the two intruders arrive, a lead man and his strong arm, they enter through the same garage door after getting it open. Inside they do not see the invisible car but they easily get into the house through the door to the inside that is here. It is the assistant they find first. They lay him out on the floor in the living room. By the time they find who they are looking for, the man who lives here, they have something like loose flower petals shoved in the assistant’s mouth followed by a crow bar. They have the man who lives here laid out now, too, and are trying to extract information from him by threatening the life of the assistant. He is saying “I am sorry” to him, though it is energetically flat, although he isn’t really taking all this as seriously as he should be yet. He could just be confounded, and feeling they would not really kill them. He is unwilling to give the intruders the information they are wanting. I shift from here before seeing anything further. 

All night it is like this, scenario after scenario.

There is one that occurs in a structure under water, and another that occurs in a kind of hospital where I see one of the players change out of red dress and make-up right in the hallway leading into a room where there are resident patients sitting, and into a casual brown suit and tie which are garments more befitting of the man he is. I cannot tell his ethnicity but he has naturally dark tanned skinned and black hair that is thinning and receding. He seems to work here and is speaking with a woman who also does. I can no longer hear the conversation but he seems rushed—not just to change but something else. There is death that occurs here, too, but there have been so many of these scenes that I have essentially dropped most all the details for more simply noting the conceptual pattern. By morning I am asking what all this has been about.

It is during this conversation with Inner being that I remember the ancestral lineage <— and I simply say these words. Immediately in my field of vision is a large, female leopard who is sitting upright. I see her as clearly as I do the day. 

“Wow, that’s interesting” I think to myself, as I fall into yet another scene. I am in the car with my mom, she is driving and I am in the passenger seat. The car itself seems to be a convertible and mom seems to be having some difficulty navigating. I am having to point out which lane to be in when traffic starts moving. There is a man in front of us who is not in a vehicle but instead on foot in the street. I have to tell mom to stop before she hits him. As it turns out she was actually trying to get his attention. She reaches up out of the convertible and touches him. He turns around, he is on a phone call but I get a really good look at him. He is much younger than mom, in fact ( maybe not even ) half her age. When we get home I find she has invited him over, and is now inviting him in as she stands at the door. They both have sweet tooths, I see they are not going to be good for each other, they are going to feed into the other’s vices. I am trying to clean up to a degree after them. There is a safe on the floor in front of where they are sitting. Mom opens it to get something out but does not close the door. The safe is filled to the brim with something that looks like large, very clear ice cubes ( *repeating symbol in my dreams, ice is often used instead of money ). I would like to close the safe door but I am beginning to shift away from the scene.

Back in my bed I am trying to work all this out. 

I begin to come to see that the leopard ( cat, feline species ) is representative of not me but mom. 

I see the data is saying that she coupled with a much younger species. I wonder for a moment about dad, and his line, but then see it does make sense to first follow the maternal line in to my origin. I thank the one’s who worked with me this morning and have shown me this to begin. I confirm I would like to continue more into the line in the days ahead. Into who it is I am, how I came to be, and ultimately how I came to be here, in the Earth life.

April 17, 2024

I begin the process of looking into my ancestral history; cherry pink

It is hot. I know I have to turn on my stronger floor fan and get an ice pack if I hope to fall off. I have a new idea for entering my dreams, I want to connect with my ancestral history, trace it back to who I am and how I came to be here now in the Earth life. It is a difficult night to begin, though. I have been swelling up the fast couple or few weeks and have begun taking strong ginger tea to help get the water off. As a result of taking my tea last night right at bedtime I am up literally every 90 minutes visiting the bathroom. Each time I get up I can tell that in the dream I am in some kind of massive energy vortex, a literal tornado of energy. This could be due to my floor fan, or it could be what is attempting to happen in the dream as it connects me to my ancestral heritage. The energy is so strong I cannot hold to much each time I move to get up.

At first I am outdoors.
The sky is dark and foreboding as though right before a storm.

A man is with me who pulls me in tight by his side and is saying that something is big enough for the two of us. He presses a button or something and a large cherry red ( again ) shield of some kind pops over the top of us from our heads to elbows. There is the idea of large ice bolders falling from the sky and how this would protect us. Then there is the idea of someone coming up from behind, swiping us at the knees, knocking us over and taking the shield for themselves. I am now injured and out here like a homeless person. I pull myself underneath something to shield me from view and protect myself against the elements. There is someone else already under here as well. I think to myself I cannot just stay here like this and literally throw myself back out where I was -although the scene gives way here and I feel myself entering the idea of a new unknown. It is fueled with great drive and great hope.

[ I get up to use the bathroom ]

A wedding has happened and I am sitting with everyone now at the reception- everyone here is African American. I am bopping my head to the music and comment on this to someone about how it is really such a bad habit. I have no idea why I think it is such a bad habit. I have no memory of the actual wedding, or who has gotten married, only of this reception room, the music and feeling the beat. The woman I am speaking to is heavy set and wearing a white belted dress, circa 1960s. 

[ Up to use the bathroom again ]

It is after the reception now. I am with a man and woman. I don’t think they are a couple. They are dressed more like in the 1980s. The man causes me to look inside my purse, it is lined in the same cherry pink/red color that is following me throughout the night. Inside are dozens of small glass vials of roll-on perfume. I am very proud of these. It makes me happy to see them. All clear and shiny like crystals. I look into another area of the purse also. I do not remember what I see. 

[ Up to use the bathroom ]

I am inside the idea of an apartment, and the feeling of “home”. I am sitting at John’s feet ( who is reclined ), holding on to them. I have invited a variety of people over, one at a time. A woman in pink pant pajamas and a cherry pink house coat is here. She has platinum blonde hair, she is in the kitchen, then at a small table just off the kitchen, she mentions the pulled pork she is cooking. Without leaving John or letting go of his feet I mentally project into the kitchen, have a look into the pot and say “mmmm”. I think the woman smokes. She is nice, though, she doesn’t judge me like some of the others. At this point I am becoming more consciously aware of the strong swirling energy vortex I seem to be caught up in throughout this night.

I have a good hold of John’s feet and do not want to let go.

John’s feet are keeping me centered in the idea and feeling of “home”.

April 16, 2024

A visit from my maternal grandmother, an apartment leasing office

I am working as a leasing agent in an apartment rental office ( something I used to do IRL ). In the mix of the activity here my maternal grandma comes through. We are on an upstairs landing with another young female. G is telling me something but her voice is so soft that I cannot hear her. The other girl seems to hear her just fine, it must be me who is slightly out of phase with their exact frequency. The girl is going to translate for me, it would appear she is in reach of us both, but, also, G really wants to tell me directly herself. I remember a head and voice coming really close to my ear and then I just seem to dissolve from here. As though the level of presence and what is said is either too much for me or just not meant to be carried by my conscious mind.

Back in the rental office I am placing 5 stark white file folders in a cabinet that is something like at the post office where you put through the mail to those in the back mail room. Before I even get the cabinet door shut I see that the folders are being received by someone on the other side. I know the hands are female and that there are two of them back there. I go back to work doing random, mundane tasks. Later, my manager is speaking with me about an elderly female couple who are here to change their apartment choice. She does not want them to because she already knows they will not be happy with any of the other apartments we still have available. She wants me to help them understand this and why. The two elderly ladies sit at my desk, I am mostly speaking with one of them. She tells me they are moving here from another country, somewhere in the EU, possibly France. They are maintaining a residence there while they make this move, she is explaining some of the complexity of this. 

I am beginning to explain to them where on the property I myself would choose to live, and the reasons for this when in my mind I begin to wonder if this is manipulation. As I begin to wonder, I begin to shift more toward physical space, until I find I am wholly back in my room.

April 15, 2024

A grey wolf pins me, white mall- gunmen looking for me

A grey wolf comes into the scene I am in, s/he has me pinned on the floor. The wolf does not seem that dangerous, it does have me pinned but it is more my own uncertainty about why it is here and what it might do that has me now calling out for help.

There are others here but they are not doing anything, and are really slow moving when I finally ask them to go get someone. The someone never comes and I get super angry at them. I go myself to confront those who would not come. I see myself walking away from them after words are had, I am using extreme angry language ( calling them MFers ). I am just livid. Before exiting this set of scenes I see the back of a person carrying two wolf cubs. There is a third walking on its own behind them. He licks at the cub in the person’s right arm, who then pees so the one walking can drink. I have the conscious thought in my head “well that is very sustainable now, isn’t it?” I am trying to work out what this symbolism means. It does mean something.

White mall : the inside is just very white, from the floors to the walls to the light. I am making evasive maneuvers. There are men with guns who are looking for me -there are two kids who I see and grab hold of to keep them out of sight and safe. I very interestingly know it is movement, rather than the visual aspect of ourself that will give our position away. We are flat to the ground when I tell the kids to remain perfectly still. The men, even though looking right near and over where we are do not see us. I watch as two of them, on after the other loom in very close and then walk away while still looking.

Blue casino : these colors are not typical in a casino, blue and lavender ( and gold *which is quite common ). I am working the floor, serving drinks, calling out “cocktails” as I walk down each isle. Only one person wants anything, she orders a coke. I decide I will put my tray down and take a little break to use the bathroom. Inside the stall there is a very high toilet. It is a mess, I clean it up, struggle to work my clothing away and have difficulty getting myself on. Someone is asking me if I really want to do this, if it is really worth it. My response is to say that I am here, I have already cleaned the seat, yes I want to follow through. ( the scene shifts ). 

I am working my way back to the casino floor, passing the service bar where I had ordered the coke. It isn’t here anymore so I tell the bartender. He seems not sure if I am a customer or working, I tell him I am working, but I do not have my tray so he isn’t immediately believing me. I don’t have time for this. I just walk away, asking how much is a coke?, $1.50?, and then saying “why would I lie about working for that?” I go through a set of doors back into the casino but it is looking different now. I am losing my position. I quickly ask someone passing by the other way “which casino is this?” Another person steps in to help me so that I let the other person go on their way. Everyone is blonde and good looking. This new person, I think a female cannot really help me with what I am wanting to know. Now that I am awake I might think I was really on some Pleiadian-like craft, and they are trying to help bring me to this awareness, but I am bent into the idea of the casino. 

In the morning, between 6-9am I am in a conscious borderland state exploring multiple aspects of not just the details of tonight’s dreams, but the dream state itself, thresholds that are reached, how and why scenes shift when they do, and most importantly where I really am in a given scenario—when, where, why and how an overlay to the reality is entered. A concurrent lesson has to do with the open state in which I have to hold myself in order to receive any of this information as a direct experience- with all of the energy centers wide open there is a connection into the larger fractal consciousness behind me and this allows a wider, broader spectrum of information, both raw and also visual to flow into me. I can contrast this to when I collapse into the head in order to will myself to go into something on my own. I can tend to do this when there is something in particular I am trying to work out, something in particular I really want to see and hold onto and bring back into physical space. The open state does not always allow this when the information, at this time is not necessarily in my highest good, or entirely pertinent to my path and so could derail me. 

I am seeing how kaleidoscopic patterns turn into new patterns via emotion and thought structures. It is my wish to pursue this further with Inner being.

April 14, 2024

I get swept into the gravity of a Spanish couple who are going around
helping people as they sleep

There are only two fragments from the night that I still recall. Alan Steinfeld is in the first- I just remember him grabbing my laptop from me, removing the screen and using the rest as a recording device to interview someone who is here with him. I am a bit shocked when it happens, and then a bit more-so when the screen is removed from my laptop but then I grow clearer that it is Alan, he is fun and means no harms. He is just working. In the second I am with a Spanish, or Mexican couple. They are in their 50s or 60s and they are helping people, me included. I seem to be swept into what is their stream of activity and am moving about with them from place to place.

In the process of all this I am receiving discourse from them and they have me doing exercises. I recall in the midst of these exercises standing on a thickly carpeted step bouncing on one foot ( and then the other ). It is challenging to get my footing due to the step itself being so spongy. We are at the condo of a girl who had become overwhelmed by something like hoarding. It got to the point that she could not stay on top of it. The whole place began to fall into disarray and disrepair. The couple is here to clear and clean the space in order to give the girl a new more workable starting place. I see them comforting the girl in her bed as she sleeps before we leave. She is covered in a thin grey blanket up to her neck. She is also Spanish.

April 13, 2024

Migraine – down day

Today I woke up with a migraine again- the head pain is intense, nothing is getting through, I am down the whole day. I am going to begin tracking the migraines in my dream logs to look for potential corrections. This is all for today. Log out.

April 12, 2024

Cubed cages filled with people who fall to their death,
evasive maneuvers the rest of the night

Two cube shaped cages, one slightly larger than the other, both filled with people are dropped from the air. It is horrible. I watch as they fall, and how immediately upon impact with the ground all the people inside are killed. This happens not just once, it is a repeated way of eliminating people. I begin to inspect this phenomena. There is a particular geometry I am using to do this. The geometry is one that perceptually pulls upwards from a point, while simultaneously backwards from the same point. What I see attracts the attention of those who are behind all of this and I spend the length of the rest of the night evading this presence which I feel is now after me. I am very motivated to not get put into one of the cubed cages. I feel I have assistance, as everything I need to stay at least a step ahead of this presence is placed in the field for me. 

At first I am moving through the city and a variety of city scenes. Then I am inside a building. There are doors that I open that lead into scary hospital scene settings. I feel if I enter I will never come out. There is nothing more horrendous than how the knowing of this feels. I come to a young man sitting in a chair, like an old school shoe shining-type chair at another doorway. He tells me his name is Billy. When I turn back from here for something ( which I no longer remember ) he steals the wallet and phone out of my purse. I do not discover this until some time later when I actually come to need my wallet. I could kick myself for having trusted my items there with him.

At this point I am out walking along the streets again and it is night. 

A police car is to the side of the road, a black woman is being arrested and put into the police vehicle. I see a black purse which I feel must be hers, but it is just going to be left here, and the woman taken to where it will be redundant so I quickly swipe it as I walk by. All of this is to support my evasive maneuvers. I cannot stay out here on the street or I will be found. I am going to go inside a restaurant/bar where it is crowded, louder and there is music. While standing in a line outside to go in, a male person behind me starts massaging my head and hair. He tells me what this is for but I can no longer recall. It feels good, and harmless, so I allow it.

I cannot keep ( conscious ) pace with all the locales I am steadily moving through. I can just that I am steady moving through location after location all night long. The last places I recall before waking are inside again. There is a little mouse who has gotten away. I see him here. I pick him up in my hands, which he is biting at. I hold onto him and take him to get some food. I place him down where there is a small bowl which I have filled and watch him eat. There are empty pools of what would be water in the periphery. I begin to hear a sound and follow it. It is a woman has two interesting looking metallic blue balls ( they look something like the Chinese health balls I have in my car ). She is throwing these toward a closed double set of doors. To my astoundment, the balls are defying gravity—flowing along the floor and upwards along the door. There is a certain feeling in the air. It is interesting to me but not one that in my own energy I am exactly aligned with. Still -what she is doing, I feel I am wanting to give this a try.

This feeling is the last thing I sense before waking back in physical space.

An interesting to dream to wake from on my birthday.

Hmmmm.

Note: I believe I have been shown this information before, the people being killed in these cube shaped cages. It is trying to come back to me.

April 11, 2024

A frilled necked albino snake wakes me; Kundalini event

Something happened in the night. 

I found myself in bed in  a room at Robyn’s house. The lights are off, the room is dark, but a movement has caused me to wake. I sit up in the bed and look over toward the dresser where I begin to see a white ( yellow ) snake rearing its head up. I sit myself up taller in the bed. The snake is not at this point a usual snake, it has a frilled neck, like a frilled neck lizard. It jumps into my bed. I feel and hear the sound it makes as it hits the mattress in physical space -where I jump just slightly. In the experience itself I take the snake by the head so it cannot bite me and walk it downstairs to show Robyn. In the process of walking down the stairs the idea of a black snake also comes into the mix of activity. Both Robyn and Dale are up, even though it is now between 1-2am. I ask Dale what he is doing up. He says it is due to all the activity, Robyn got up so he is preparing some things in advance for the coming work day before goes back to bed. Everything begins to get jumbled here when 2 cats and 2 dogs begin entering the scene. I am trying to protect the snake I am still holding from the cats, and then the cats from the dogs as I begin to disintegrate from the scene.

The next time I find myself highly present I am walking through a large mostly abandoned warehouse with lots of windows. I am standing at a counter looking at a photograph. The idea coming to me is that this is a crystal-type picture. One captured the way I photograph the beings. In the picture is a child’s room, her bed, and on the headboard is an elf face that has projected itself into many. It is not a very friendly looking elf face. I am asking someone if this is really real. Someone confirms to me that it is not. I begin to see how the one face is simply a decal that has been repeated in a pattern. I set the photo down and begin to walk away with whoever this is who is with me. The portal, or tunnel view into another scene appears.

This highly present state continues on from here.

Darr comes into the scene. I am walking somewhere with her at night, she is almost jovial and in a very good mood. The idea is that we are going somewhere, to someone’s house who sells pot. I am walking on a sidewalk overpass, pulling myself along by a rope fence. Every so many steps I pass under a street light, and periodically pass people who are just standing here beneath them. They are very tall, and strange in their appearance. When we reach the top of the pass we cross the road and head toward a residential neighborhood. The scene and activity in the scene begin to shift. I feel us both sitting down now, as though on a kiddy ride at a playground, spinning ( gyrating ) round and round. I look up and see three green tropical parrots on a ledge. I point toward them and tell Darr to look. A moment later, in unison they take flight directly toward me/us. Upon what would be impact I dissolve from here as well.

My journey does continue on from here, but I am wanting to hold to this data lest it be lost.

I spend the rest of the morning looking into just this for more of what happened.
(notably in the moments of dissolution)

________________

Note: It may not sound like it but this has been without doubt a major Kundalini event. My spine ( I could see from within another field ) grew to be stiff as a rod and as a great bright white light. Something has occurred. Something further along this path.

April 10, 2024

Floating through a field of a stream of memories in black and white; father and son

I fell asleep nice and early tonight. I am feeling hot enough in my body that I need to bring an ice pack to bed with me. It takes only moments to feel nice and cool, and fall off.

Usually when I get to sleep at such an early ( or let me say “ideal” ) hour my dreaming is rich and my recall extensive but this morning, as I wake, I can see that I have been engaged in a different kind of dreaming *I have experienced it before but it is not usual. I am floating through scenes that look they are being filmed in black and white, with just touches of a single color that is coming through. This is the way I dream when I am being shown real memories, real moments that have occurred in time and space. The memories are not always my own.

I do not know why I am shown these when I am but, like tonight, it can be one long steady stream the whole night through, scene after scene after scene. I am so lightly here, and not exactly in the scene itself. There is an observing, as though in someone’s memory that is playing out 360 degrees all around me. And, again, it is in black and white, often with a light mist to the environment, with small bits of color coming through the black and white. 

The only moment of the stream that stays with me is one with a father and his young son. It feels like, that up until now the boy did not get to see his dad very much. The dad is wearing a long sleeved, orange corduroy shirt and he has brought the boy a gift- a long sleeved, or cord shirt of the same color ( -the difference between the former and the latter is that the latter is a much thicker cord ). The boy puts it on, sits next to his dad and is feeling so proud and on top of the world. They are a handsome father and son, they look so much alike that they could even be one and the same *at different ages. I feel I am clear, though, that they are father and son.

I am saying to an invisible someone here with me “we really liked our orange back in the 1970s.” My attention zooms into the differences in the cord thickness of each of their shirts while feeling the wonderful energy of their reunion, of how they each feel toward the other. There is a lingering feeling way in the background of all this of someone having died. Either the mom has passed on and this is why the dad has come to get the boy, or the boy has died, and on the other side the dad has come to meet him. It is a soft and very sweet-feeling moment.

I watch as the two of them, now sitting side by side in a vehicle drive off together. The view is from the rear of the vehicle, the idea of which is morphing from that of a much older style car to that of almost a horse and buggy. As they begin to fade from sight I am already shifting into the next memory. Were I any more than so lightly here I could have held it.

April 9, 2024

Deceased family, time slip to the 1940s, private investigator, intelligence agency,
( ET contact ) “seaweed men”

I am observing a work place, the office of a private investigator. The way he is dressed, the furniture, feeling, and an old glass coke bottle tell me the timeframe is circa 1940s. He is here, he is splits custody of a young son who is maybe 7 years of age with an ex-wife. The boy is here with him tonight, he has fair skin and blonde hair. It is not very fun for him while his dad is working, he really doesn’t pay him any attention at all. In the morning the two of them take a walk out toward the beach. Once out here in the fresh air and on the sand whole energy dynamic begins to change. The dad gets very playful with the boy, they are laughing and having so much fun. Getting down on the sand and making sand angels, slow speed racing on their backs toward the water. I notice there are black volcanic-type rocks out at the water. 

The strangest thing begins to happen as they play- they both are beginning turning into seaweed men. Their torsos, arms and legs have already turned. They notice this but just find it fun, they begin playing with the situation even more. BUT —the closer they get to the water, the more of them begins to change until the dad’s hands turn to seaweed and what he is holding ( I think one of the lava rocks ) falls to the ground. This is when all seriousness kicks in. The man realizes that if his feet go he will no longer be mobile. It frightens him, not just in itself but because he doesn’t want such a burden to befall the boy who would have to run for help. They both instantly drop what they are doing and as if one united mind start running fast away from the shoreline. I am being shown something as they run. It is the hand of an extraterrestrial being ( just the hand ). It is of the same texture as the seaweed but more green than golden. The hand is long and very slim, with long thin fingers *it does not look as before on the man like seaweed. I am realizing this is different than what I saw happen to him ( I am not realizing I am being shown what is actually closer to the reality of what is in play ). My attention shifts back the man and boy.

The further they get away from the water the more their human forms return to normal, until miraculously they reach the man’s office and they are in the clear. I have felt every bit of this as the man, as though it were all happening to me. Everything now returns to the way it was before, the man begins to dive back into his work. First there is a comical moment when the man puts the phone down in front of the boy and says “I make $40 a night, start calling all your friends.”  The humor in this is hysterical, as although he does not expect the boys will be able to cover this he also would not stop the boy from trying. A call now actually comes in. Someone is making an order.

My attention now shifts to where the call(s) are coming in from.

I am in a room in the house of the ex-wife. There are other men here with her. There is the feeling of an intelligence agency and of surveillance. She has the ex-husband’s office bugged and wire tapped. She is putting in ridiculous order and order, like for him to get her a hamburger. It does irk him when she does this. More than irk, in fact. I wonder to myself if she is doing this not just make him angry but drive him crazy—drive him into a violent state of mind in which he may do something. Is she doing this to get rid of him? To have sole custody of the boy? I am definitely not seeing the full picture here. This whole thing has just been so strange and my attention only flashes into this room for a moment. The beings showing me this likely do not want me to be detected. Why am I am being shown this at all, though? Any of this.

Prior to the above experience I am with deceased family members— my maternal grandma, dad and sister, Sandy. The era of the P.I. is in direct alignment with my dad and grandma ( who are actually just a few short years apart in age ). Sandy is taking care of grandma, and I see how easy a job it is for her, I begin translating it into a job I would want for myself. I even begin feeling some greed over it, which now awake is entirely surprising to me *this is certainly not a normal way I would ever feel. It goes further than this, too. I see there is another person ( is it dad? ) that would make the job harder. An idea floats up that if they would die/go away it would be easier. Shocking. Where is all of this coming from?

My attention then steps out of a house following dad over to one of three old cars parked out here. He steps over to what looks the oldest and most neglected, puts the key in the engine and turns it over. It looks like an old VW-like bus. My attention shifts to the under carriage of the car and I can see up through it to where there appears a large blood stained area the size of which one might think was from a person ( a dead person ). I can tell that my dad does not have the energy or inclination to actually drive the car to help the battery, so I make the offer to drive it for him. He responds with the typical “yeah, right.” We go back and forth on this as the engine runs. It is cold here where we are, somewhere that gets cold enough to snow but there is no snow at present.

Prior to landing here with my deceased family, I am parking a big rig on a residential street.

There is the typical situation in which I am struggling to get the brakes to work.

(I am not wanting to hit the small orange car behind me)

April 8, 2024

Information on an internal energetic within today’s eclipse;
(mobius loop, Rob Gauthier)

Mobius loop – I come lucid: I am making my way through a ridiculous situation. I am sitting on the top of a brick wall that has a chainlink fence on top of it, with my legs and arms through the chainlink portion trying to untangle myself and get through when my conscious mind catches the me in dream thinking how absolutely crazy stupid this is. The two of us in total agreement/alignment unite us as one and in the course of a few seconds I realize I am in a dream. It is such a surreal moment. I realize I have been in a mobius ( ie: unending ) loop of activity such as this for quite some time. I can see I am wearing a long sleeve blue shirt. I immediately try to look towards what is behind me being in this loop and detect a male presence behind me -before something happening and falling back into standard dream awareness.

Rob Gauthier: This is a large segment of my dreaming, but all I can see now is that I am in his apartment. There is the idea of him beginning to date. This must be a point back in time prior to him meeting Kalina ( ? ). I am taking care of some things in the periphery.

The internal energetic ( structure ) of the eclipse: I am inside the house with a large family unit, there are elements of it that align with elements of my own. In particular my mom, and brother, Derrick’s, family. Everyone in the house is busy busy, there is a constant buzz, constant activity. They are even riding bicycles in the house. I recall at one point walking in from outside and noticing I have done so without my shoes. I have walked through a yard of clay-like earth. There is a young boy here who aligns with my nephew, Zack, who is saying I should shower now so I can be on time to go to the movies with them all. I am twirling him in a circle. 

Following a ton of little vignettes like this I find myself at a window. Outside the sky is dark. I am wondering to myself why the sky is dark -it is daytime. When all of a sudden I remember the total solar eclipse is today. There is an ominous feeling rising up in me when as I look into the sky and nearby landscape I notice that I am seeing a large light from within the tree line. “A portal!” I scream to everyone, “I see a portal!” From within the portal there are creatures. They begin to come into clearer view when a boy from next door walks right over to the portal, and to them, and touches the extremely large tongue of the creature in front ( who has for some unknown reason put out his tongue ). Everyone has made their way outside to see this. The sky has grown even darker, strong winds are now blowing and I see the first of the trees begin to fall. I am running inside the house and telling everyone to do the same. They are taking their time, but as they notice the winds building and more trees beginning to fall they make way.

This is the last moment I see before I wake.

April 6, 2024

The dynamic and mechanics of deep level connection

Lesson: Deep Level Connection—Merging with the Field

It is truly such a beautiful experience, it is hard to see why we often fear it so much -and thus close down our inner energy systems, our chakra network, which functions in a certain sense as a lock and key system that when keyed open crown to base can fit our own entire networking into a much larger networking – our own personal ( mind-body ) system into a much larger system – our own field into a much larger field. The experience of this is unlike anything I can adequately describe but I can say it converts me from a solid, a point into a wave, into an extraordinary energy DYNAMIC. This experience can be distinguished from the OBE, wherein the consciousness shifts perceptually into and out of the body, into and out of Earth space. In contrast, this experience is one more directly of a dynamic which itself creates a frequency wave that widens the circumference of the entire being; nothing exists, or is left ( of me ) to go out beyond; all knowledge, experience, information is directly within and access is unlimited. 

Within this experience are the blueprints to all in creation. 

Before I pass from this life, likely by this very mean, I aim to enter this experience in a more though and detailed manner in order to write on the subject.

More directly in the dream state I am in a structure that includes a work space, a home space and something like a strip mall where a variety of shops all connect. As a way of asking permission, and not inadvertently stealing, I am telling the woman I work for that I will bring ingredients from the store home with me to make something that seems like a cookie -I hadn’t the time during my shift. It is something we give as a hospitality gift to everyone who comes into the store. There is discussion about whether it should be given to only those who purchase something—or to everyone. I am adamant that it should be given unconditionally to everyone.

April 5, 2024

Reading history through cockroach evolution, achievement celebration of a friend

This part I just barely recall, and in doing so there are zings of something that is trying to come through. It is as though this is a kind of place marker put over the top of more fundamental information. What I recall is the subject of cockroaches.

I am seeing one of them up close, as though being inspected by a scientist, or in some kind of science lab. I see the idea of a female with brown hair in a lab coat. I see the idea of millions more of these insects. I seem to be speaking with someone.I am telling them to not just leave the dead one’s where they lay, sometimes they are not really dead so you have to collect them in a large sack that gets sealed at the top just to be sure there are not who resurrect.

There is a particular at the horror ( fear ) at the sheer number of them. At the same time there is something more about them. Maybe this is something that is being told to me. It is like history can be read through them, not wholly unlike layers of the earth, rock, and even the crystals. It is due to their durability and species longevity, adaptions they make within their biological structures. It is interesting to hear coming from this source. What is trying to zing through the place marker of the roach is shocking to my system -it can’t get through.

The rest of the night and morning it is like my view is behind either a movie camera or still camera. At first it is like this as I am in attendance at a sort of lifetime achievement ceremony for Erich Schiffmann- who is not physically present himself at the celebration so it seems this could be his funeral. A thought that saddens me *not while in the experience but now.

Inside the experience I am viewing from behind a movie camera, as though I am filming the event. I hear a speaker ( who at the same time seems to be me ) relaying all Erich’s achievements in life and am filming the responses of those in audience. I pan into various areas until the yoga buds section stands in ovation, giving a round of applause and beginning to sing and move as a choir. They are sometimes comically all surging their heads up in unison. 

Following the ceremony I want to be by myself.

I am still in the same building, in an area they are serving food. I have gotten myself a slice of cheese pizza and sat alone in a separate darkened and cool area away from where all the others are congregating. It is far more lively in that area, there is no solemness. In front of me is the biggest mirror I think I have ever seen. Inside of it is a caucasian male roughly 60 years of age who is dancing. He doesn’t look like a reflection, he looks entirely 3D real but he is in the mirror. I am trying to work all of this out when some others from our group show up to also have a bite to eat. They see I am busy ( that I am wanting to be alone ) and instead the three of them sit out in the main area with the rest of everyone. I look back at the mirror, at the man in the mirror and shift. 

I am now walking outside in the streets, my view behind a still camera lens. There is an interesting light to the day, or to the view, a sort of antiquing, as though I were walking in a memory. I begin to see a woman. She is a pretty woman, light skinned and platinum haired. I notice she is wearing no top —I am attempting to realize I am out of body but I do not recall ever having made the full realization. She is half sitting, half laying, poised almost as though sunning, leaning on her elbows in a way that mostly covers her breasts from view. Is she a model? is she modeling? I then see her through the camera lens upright and walking—waling next to me ( or what seems to be me ), talking to me. I can see no further than this. I cannot hear what she is saying.

It is as though I am watching a silent filmstrip. 

April 4, 2024

Extraordinary experience in the expanded state, another level of breakthrough

What an entirely unique experience.

I am in the expanded state, experiencing synchronous states and discovering why it is I always shift naked. This is the second major discovery I have made the past month about myself, regarding phenomena common to me – ( the first breakthrough can be read here ) 🕊

The experience begins within the slow, underlying revving style of vibrations common to the expanded state. As is usual, it is vibration itself that is holding the consciousness open and rippling out into the many various fields. In the one I will mention first I am naked inside. These precise words are important because they are the fundamental concept I am now going to picture out into a scene. I am inside a room in a house I previously occupied. I will refer to it as the Barrington house, where I lived when portals first began opening right inside my physical living spaces. I am here with another female, a friend, who is likewise naked. Darr comes into the house, speaking to let us know she has arrived and is about to round the corner into the room in which the other two of us are when she says “unless you are naked again.” Indicating she is not going to round that corner if we are. The other girl and I both begin to lightly laugh. Our repartee continues as my attention spans into another area.

Naked walks out in the city.
I am accompanying myself here as my own guidance.

I am learning while also stating to the other girl who is here with me the reason I shift naked and take walks out into city structures like this. I am listening, learning and understanding and at the same time also explaining that it is to help compensate for physical space, 3D Earth space, the extreme rules and judgments. I do this to maintain a balance so that I do not fall into them, into that level or state of mind myself. I overcome the fear here, of what might be thought of me, of what might happen in such an open state, of any vulnerability, or tendency of weakness in my own thinking and feeling bodies. To be able to stand tall within my own energy even in the midst of what is not usual in the minds of others. I also observe how my own uprightness and determination to be/grow strong within myself begins to alter the space, the environment, and thereby any potential action by that of the others. 

Sex through my clothing.
[not entirely PG13, turn away now if sensitive to this kind of data ] 

In an additional field I find I am in the embrace of a golden haired god. I say this as I am aware of the much taller stature of the actual being here with me. In the field this male is also golden haired, he has thick golden locks. There is a level of familiarity, though I would say in this experience it is more with this level of being itself than the particular god, while interestingly my conscious mind is at the same time wondering what would have him want anything to do with me. I am not physically myself here, exactly, but physical sensations are present and it is my current self, history and memory which is in the experience. I am in his embrace, and quite willingly so.

There is a reminiscing in the sensations of the innocence of my youth, notably that of the sex organs touching through clothing, and the drive to penetrate that clothing. I am remembering alright, it is even stronger than this though, I am in an extremely deep, visceral state of reminiscence. There is something quite in particular which is wanting to pull ( or pool ) into the very front of my awareness. And I am wanting it to, inviting it to.

Someone or something is so close to “piercing the veil” ( which is really, more fundamentally what this whole energy dynamic is all about ) but it is really having to work in order to do so and is using my first coming of age experiences as torque. I will note that this is related in every way to the first breakthrough I’ve mentioned. Another level of this whole experience in the ET spectrum, <— this is the additional level that is attempting to break through to me. 

In the process, the god tires and falls to the floor fast asleep, bringing me/my body with him. I am still awake, though.. I can hear others approaching and do not want to be found by them in a naked lump pile like this. I get up from the god, visually ( I will say now ) an approximately 24 year old caucasian 1970s looking male. He is truly beautiful. I move into a collage with some others that takes place upon, or in and around a bed, blankets, colorful pillows, which I am organizing. Conversation regarding all of what is happening is being discussed. I do want to do this again later, and begin to seek out the god to help re-awaken the memory.

Another field ( the ETs get a message through ). Slave kitchen. Negative, predominant male faction on some island nation. Polynesia?  Something is being done to the food. The woman in charge of this industrial looking kitchen is on her knees in a back area, in a submissive position to the dominance of the armed group of males in dark suits who surround her. She has agreed to do their bidding -but the other female workers in the kitchen have not, they are innocent and doing what they are told but they do not know what this is or why they are being made to do it.

There are weaved plates of decomposing rotten food that are lined up in a single row on the lower tier a stainless silver push cart. They regularly make homage to them by throwing more leaves of lettuce that are beginning to rot upon them. This is near to the idea of a dark altar. Whether these are used to feed something dark or to just draw dark energy into this place I cannot say. I am pulled from here before I can explore any more.

Additional field. I am not sure how this one fits in. Some of us in the family are arriving at dad’s old house, the Providence house where we grew up. When I get here I see a man standing in front of a vehicle that is open along the whole driver’s side, like a camper van. I can see he has the inside made up with a bed and that he aims to sleep here in it. I do not recognize him or know why exactly he is here. I energetically push his car forward in front of Margarette’s house and tell him to park here as this space is not used by the occupants of this house, whereas a few of us are here at the moment visiting dad’s. There is energy over this through which I shift.

Through which I shift into this experience at large.

April 3, 2024

A much earlier wake time, today is a wash

I had to wake up to an alarm a solid 3 hours earlier than normal. It was enough to shatter everything -namely my ability to even focus.

Today is a total wash, BUT ……there is always the night and day ahead.

April 2, 2024

I seem to have traveled for a real visit with a friend; salt, new loo paper

I went to visit an online friend, Dawn Sheers, in her mobile home which she is now touring down in Mexico. I am welcomed in and shown around the place. It keeps getting larger and larger. I am astonished at how much space it has inside. It grows to have multiple bedrooms and bathrooms. At first I see three beds, directly in the main living area and wonder who they for. As soon as I wonder I see you two young kids, a boy and a girl, brother and sister, who are roughly the same age, 11-12 years old sleeping in one of the beds. As I am heading out to sleep in my car for the night Dawn invites me to sleep inside her home. As she shows me to a back bedroom that has a nice little bathroom across from it I see her Mom here as well. I am very thankful for the invitation and accept it. While Dawn shows me the bathroom she brings to my attention the ( ‘what the crap’ ) toilet paper *it reminds me I need to get in my order.

 In moving to-and-fro throughout the house there are multiple close contacts with her son as we pass by one another. As these passes occur it is like I can hear inside his mind. It is the mind of a young boy beginning to come of age ( I won’t do go into details ). The next day, in the kitchen there is something going on with Dawn’s Mom. She if feeling that she wants to take all the salt out of her diet and has brought in a doctor. I am uncertain if it remains the Mom, or if the Mom is shifting into the idea of another person. I tell the doctor that I live right next door, I am a professional medical caregiver and I will keep an eye on her. I tell the woman that I am skilled at these matters and sit down with her in the kitchen to begin going over the items in her fridge and panty to get an idea for how much salt she is actually eating. 

We are engaged in this process when my first alarm goes off at 6AM.

Immediately upon waking I put in my order for the loo paper.
I can’t help but wonder what this was all about.

***

Dawn’s website: Blue Butterly Travels 🕊

April 1, 2024

An alternate 3D reality, bus crashes, finances, rearrangement of affairs

I am indoors, somewhere, rearranging things and talking to a guy about finances. 

He is mentioning something the president just did relative to a lump, large sum of money. I am saying “yeah, but how much of that will people like me actually see?” Insinuating it will have no baring whatsoever on my own financial situation. I focus more into my rearranging of things.

After finishing up indoors I am walking around the city. It is very real. I recall at least once cognitively questioning if this were my reality. It is just too solid, stable and linear not to be. I never gain lucidity, but this said it continues to be extremely true to life. There is a clothes vending area that is selling pants. They are all laid out flat, stacked high on top of one another from the ground, like something you might see walking along Venice beach. I stop here, thinking I might buy a new pair for myself and in the piles find a long skirt made of sweatshirt material died to look like jeans. I think I might buy it for myself and even look for a place to try it on, but then I look at the price tag and see they want way too much for what this is. I throw the skirt back into the pile and continue on -soon after entering a coffee-type shop. 

I am actually with two other friends but they never come into direct view or land in the same place as where I myself am. I tell the guy who works here I will wait for them before I order. In the process I am getting to know both he and his and wife. There are multiple scene shifts during all this including into a time when the guy was working as a bus driver. The buses are really tall, like tripple decker buses with additional top accesses. I am riding in one of them when he has a fender bender with another vehicle and the whole thing topples over. I see the whole thing happening from up high in the top access and am able to ride the thing falling over in a way that at the end I land on my feet. My first alarm goes off. It is 6AM. I think it is lightly raining outside. I go back in. I am continuing to get to know the same guy and his wife, mostly the wife now. 

She, too, has things coming up with her finances. There is something she wants to buy, but she is going to have to wait. I can feel my usual energy coming into the equation. I want to reach in and just get the thing for her with my own ( small ) resources. I have to struggle a bit with myself to not do it, to let her work through her own affairs. I get onto another of her husband’s buses. Again I am up top when as we round a right corner the back wheels spin out from under the bus and again we topple over. I almost can’t believe the young man has toppled two buses in two days.

As the bus is falling over and I am flying toward the ground I wonder to myself if my second alarm is about to go off. It does not, not quite yet. I again land again on my feet. The passengers inside are all okay. This time the bus was actually split apart. 

The portion of the bus that seats the driver was thrown away from various other portions. I walk over to it, bend over and look down inside. The young man is hanging upside down by a seat belt from what is now the roof. I watch as he releases the belt and falls on bare hands and knees onto the glass and rubble on what is now the floor. As he winces and begins to get himself up, my second alarm goes off. It is 7AM. I am still talking with someone as I wake ( is it my brother, Derrick? ), I am saying how I have ridden this man’s buses for years, nothing like this has ever happened.

I am shifting now more toward wake. I feel quite rested and think I will probably not use the third alarm. It feels nice to just lay here in the restful energy, though.

So I do this for awhile first before moving to get up.